hoping for some help!

trixipaws

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im hoping for some advice, we're getting a problem, it sounds small and trivial but its really upsetting. those of u who know our weekly work/childcare routine skip the blue paragraph its for any1 who wont kno what im on about lol

my boyf works 5 days a week and i work 3 days. there are 2 days each week when we are both at work so neither one of us can look after millie. we are very lucky that my dad is retired and willing to babysit these 2 days, which he doesnt want paying for (for now anyway!). we live about 14 miles from work which at rush hour is an hour-long journey, and my parents are 20 miles away in another direction. as i dont finish til 6pm, millie stays over at my parents every monday nite. my boyf works 9-5 and i work 10-6, so on tuesdays he goes to pick up millie before coming back to collect me.

the last few tuesdays my boyf has been so grumpy, and told me that when he goes to get millie she cries and reaches for my parents. as i can imagine, this must be really upsetting for him. he seems to take it personally, if i say oh its just that she's tired / she gets spoiled by my parents he says im making excuses.

tonite he pointed out that it doesnt happen the other way around (on monday mornings she doesnt cry when we give her to my dad nor does she reach out for us)

he tried to play with her and cuddle her but she was pushing away and crying (she did it to me as well tho, admittedly not as much) and eventually got up and walked off, and when i took her downstairs to say goodnite b4 i put her to bed he didnt want to hold her and kiss her on the mouth or nose like he usually does he just stroked her cheek and he looked rather glum.

i feel really bad for him, altho she is only like this on tuesdays and only recently. but also i felt upset by how he reacted to it, like he had "fallen out" with her or something! she rejects me sometimes too, and bites me in anger, and its not very rewarding but i cant imagine NOT wanting to cuddle her no matter how hurt i felt.

pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease someone tell me this is a phase! or what i can do about the situation! my mum said shes noticed it the past 2 or 3 weeks too and feels bad about it and would like to kno what she might be able to do.

this was the 3rd tuesday it happened and my boyf said last nite 'i cant wait to see millie, i bet she cries tho and reaches for ur parents'- do u think she picked up on his anxiety about it and that made it worse?

how long do u think this will last? :(
 
no advice, sorry hon :(

just wanted to give you some :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
 
I think she is just a little bit confused with the whole thing. Do you think there is a chance for her not to stay there overnight?

:hug: I bet when she will get older this will stop. In a meantime you and your BF should be/play/cuddle her as much as you can. Just make her laught :hug:

And, during the picking up make sure grandparents put her on the floor firs and then your BF picks her up. Not from hands to hands.
 
Wanted to pass on some :hug: :hug: :hug:
I think point out to your boyfriend that it's so great Millie loves her grandparents, and that she feels comfortable enough to not be interested in Daddy picking her up because she knows he's always going to be there for her, and so she does find Grandparent time special, its no reflection on her love or want for Daddy, he's just around a lot more :) It must be hard for him, I'm sure he's hurting but he shouldn't stop being how he wants to be with Millie over it, he should let her have her moment but react positively still, let it pass, then get back to enjoying her and Daddy time :D Really hope he's OK and he feels better about it all real soon, very best wishes, I don't think there's anything anyone can do, Millie just loves her time with her Grandparents which really is good if he thinks about how it could be had things gone the opposite way and she didn't enjoy the time there :hug:
 
I just wanted to say that i think this is normal but your OH is taking it too personally..when my mum comes and visits Hayden he cries when she leaves and wants to go with her, when MIL had Hayden last week he came back and an hour later i told him off for something and he said he was "running away to nanny jackies" he has also done the same thing to his dad when he hasnt seen him for a few days..he pushes him away and says "i go see mummy" and runs to me. this kind of behaviour could be upsetting if you take it to heart which i dont i know Stewart does sometimes and feels terrible about not seeing him for a few days. I can't explain it but i know what you mean and it coiuld just be put down to age and realising more about their environment..who is around, when and missing people etc..(i hope you know what i mean its difficult to explain in written text) it shouldn't be taken to hurt although it can be hurtful Millie doesn't mean it.
hope i works out ok hun :hug: :hug: :hug:
 

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