mother in law (to be)

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by gangofgin, Nov 13, 2007.

  1. gangofgin

    gangofgin Well-Known Member

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    well, where to start
    basically, my OH's dad died last year and his mum hasn't taken it too well. my boyfriend lives i london and his mum in the midlands and he doesnt visit that often, maybe a few times a year and birthdays etc and she never visits him, but they do speak quite often on the phone and do have a good relationship. although me and OH have been together round 3 years, i've never met his mum and infact, shes only found out about me recently, not that it was a secret or anything but its just the way it worked out.
    well hes really nervous about telling his mum im pregnant and so am i, i kept pestering him to say something a few weeks ago when i first found out, as i told people anyway, and he was putting it off. then i got scared myself as ive never met the woman, and hes told me about her being very uptight and still speaks to him like hes a child even though hes 38. another thing is im 24 and i can see this being a huge problem for her. im so bloody nervous! when i realised i was just as scared as him, i suggested we left it till after the 12 weeks were up, but now its arrived and im cacking myself!
    hes told me before that his dad always kept her calm and kinda under control, should we say, and since hes died shes got much worse than before.
    i have actually seriously considered suggesting to him to keep it a massive secret and never tell her, i know thats ridiculous and couldnt ever happen but im that scared im thinking of every possible thing to get me out of meeting her and him telling her im pregnant.
    meh, sorry to rant on but i wanted to get all that off my chest
     
  2. Redshoes

    Redshoes Well-Known Member

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    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
    The quick and easy reply is it doesn't matter what she thinks :wink: but it is your OH's Mum and so I can understand why its important it goes well when you tell her. Do you have a 12wk scan pic? Maybe post her that in a congratulations Grandma, Nan, card? Or if your OH tells her over the phone, that's less 'confrontational' too and should it be worse case scenario and she shouts, he can always put the phone down :D it will give her time to digest the news, I'm sure it will be fine, if things stay as they are then she'llknow and things will continue with her knowing, or, she could decide to start visiting and buying you lovely baby prezzies :D I'd just tell her, whichever way suits your both, because you don't need to be worrying about it whillst busy being pregnant :hug:
    Very best wishes gangofgin :hug:
     
  3. mrs_tommo22

    mrs_tommo22 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with everthing redshoes has said and no need for me to say anything. :hug: goodluck though.
     
  4. Babylicious

    Babylicious Well-Known Member

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  5. bobtheunfortunateone

    bobtheunfortunateone Well-Known Member

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    :hug: think you should tell her, no secrets, if she is not happy then that it is her issue NOT YOURS. at least then you are not hiding anything, I think if you don't tell her you are just asking for trouble later, then that would be yours and your partners fault, best to put the situation in her hands and you have a clear mind to have a happy baby. she can lump it if she has a prob. :hug: Trust me MIL's are the worst, but it makes you want to give your baby better parenting. :hug:
     
  6. tuck

    tuck Well-Known Member

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    I'd tell her, does she have any other grandchildren?, if not this could give her something to look forward to. As you've never met her then you wont really be able to make a judgement on whats she like till you actually meet her.
     

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