Marriage (rant)

[B81292]

Me and my fiancé are wanting to plan a date for our wedding but I don't get on with his family and they don't like me much either (see previous posts if you'd to get an idea of what they're like..) they've even been rude to my parents and have never tried to be friendly even though we have a baby
Also, to give you an idea : OH parents are his biological grandparents but he calls them mum and dad . His auntie is classed as his sister and his biological mum is also a 'sister'. They kept this from him his whole life until a couple of years ago when a drunk relative told him. They will not address this issue and are happy to continue this on with my baby which makes me really uneasy and upset as I don't want to lie to her about her famoly

*hope you are still with me after all that *

Has anyone got married with issues with OH family ? Or more importantly should even be getting married with all these problems with his family ? The idea of them being there gives me bad anxiety and just makes me think marriage isn't the answer especially when we are not really going to be joining two families together ..

 

[El1en]

I personally think marriage is about you, your other half and your child... Your family. It's not about going two families but joining yourselves. Or that's how id want to look at it if I was in your shoes. Whether you marry or not if you really love each other then you'll have to deal with his family being part of your life

Putting his family weirdness aside would you want to marry him? How does he feel about all this?

 

[B81292]

Yeah, that's true. I do want to marry him but it's coping with his baggage , it's been hard enough with having the baby
He won't discuss it with me as doesn't want to open a can of worms. He knows how I feel about the mum/Gran issue but won't talk about it. The most he had done is ask them to stop coming in my house and in all the rooms etc when I'm not in!
Maybe if there's doubts marriage isn't right for us x

 

[GF91]

My OHs parents are what nightmares are made of. They're controlling, rude and very oh woe me. I don't trust them, they give me major anxiety and are yet to be left in a room alone with my LO. I do my very best to avoid them or have anything to do with them. A few years ago we discovered that his dad isn't on his birth certificate and that he was adopted by him around 5 years later. When we asked his mother she said that because dad wasn't at the hospital when they came round to do the births certificate, he couldn't go on it. When we asked why he waited so long to be put on the birth certificate she didn't have an answer. It's a long running joke between OH and his brother that he's not his dad's, while it doesn't bother my OH who his dad is, he'd like to know although he won't bring it up with his mum incase it opens a can of worms- I am absolutely forbidden to bring it up with her, and if I mention it to OH he snarls at me. Would all this stop me from marrying him? Not a chance, he's my best friend. Just keep as far away from them as you can, smile and be civil when you have too, and laugh about how awful they are with those close to you 😆