Major meltdown this morning :-(

[Emily0505]

So not really ttc news but just had to get it down and thought I would post in here, as this is where I lurk!

I had a really crappy morning this morning, sat on the stairs and cried my lil heart out!

I am so stressed out at work at the moment, feeling really taken for granted and disrespected and just completely miserable! I love certain aspects of my job so much and most of the people I work with are great but my boss is just so awful to me and I don't have the confidence to speak out and say how she makes me feel.

If I wasn't ttc I would probably pack it in and go and work somewhere else. I just don't want to risk leaving and then falling pregnant and not being eligible for maternity. I feel so stuck in limbo. I have worked there for 7 years and I can't go anywhere and in fact things are being stripped away from me, so rather than progressing I am almost going backwards!

I am just soooo stressed out! You know when you have those days where you feel ready to burst into tears at the tiniest little thing? Well, I feel like that constantly. I'm completely overly emotional about everyhting ( just saw a bfp announcement on here from Babybo and got all teary, and to be fair we don't know each other nearly well enough for that! No offence intended Babybo xx)

I am always either on the verge of killing someone, getting really full of rage, or just ready to cry my eyes out! It's awful! Getting teary writing this!

Sorry to waffle ladies and I know it's completely off topic I just needed to get it off my chest.

xx

 

[Geminiblue]

ok hun... is your job really worth it? Is the money really worth it? Do you think that you are really going to fall pregnant with this amount of stress? If you really cant get something done about your boss, then do you think being pregnant in this job is going to do you any good? Its going to make youre pregnancy really tough? Have you looked at what you will get SMP (statutory maternity pay) from the government. Is it worth really staying for 90% of your pay for such a short period of time.

Look into your options darlin. Life is too short so you either do something about the bully, or you get out and get yourself another job. Dont worry about falling pregnant when starting another job its not the end of the world and you want to be happy dont you? My friend was in the same situation, she got out in the end and it was the best thing she did. You dont know how long it will take to get pregnant especially in the environment your working in. Take care huni
xxx

 

[Emily0505]

I am so undecided- I know what you mean about is it all worth it.

There have been a lot of changes at work recently and new management teams in place and its all still so up in the air. I think (hope) I'm just going through an over tired and stressy phase! There's no denying things have been tough recently but I am not sure I want to leave! Which is silly cuz I'm not happy there!

I know that all the stress won't help ttc etc and some days I'm really good and don;t give a toss bout anything, just do my work, go home and it's all water off a ducks back so to speak, but then other days I'm like rarrrrgh!!! I hope I don't sound like some kinda mentalist! I'm sure others must have felt like this too at some point

I think my best plan is to wait until after Christmas, see how things are then and go from there.

Thanks for your reply hun

xx

 

[Daisy2011]

Hi Emiliy
sounds like youve had a bad few weeks. HUGS

I quit my job a few months ago after some very bad months. I found that trying to talk to people in work made things worse not better. I worried a lot about how i would cope without a proper wage. But ultimately my job was making me anxious/depressed and full of frustrated rage and this is a slippery slope.

I have to say that the peace and calm that comes from being able to walk away is worth the poverty. I scrape by now but I am confident and happier than i have been for a long time. I am looking for a new job and pick up temp work when i need to pay for something big.
It really isnt so bad and your mental health is way more important than your job. There will be new jobs and its better to leave with your health and a good reference than tolerate it until this is no longer the case.

At the very least get looking seriously for a new job, prep up your CV and look around at courses you can do and what you want the future to have in it. Aside from happy healthy mum and baby.

You dont have to stay and you can change anything.

Take heart and chin up
x daisy 2011

 

[tinselcat]

Hey Emily

I switched jobs during ttc (still am), we just skipped a month when trying so as to avoid the maternity pay issue you mention. If I were you, I'd start looking, and if something good happens in the mean time (you get your bfp), well....

 

[leesey]

I agree with tinselcat, because what happens when you do get pregnant and then you're stuck with all the stress and anxiety of your current job?

Stress is not good for ttc and it's certainly not good for wee beans, so I would get the hell outta there!

Best of luck xx

 

[Emily0505]

I'm feeling much better today, no meltdowns! I am really just gonna try and chill out! At the end of the day, it's just a job and I'm there to get paid, I'm lucky to have the job I do as it's highly sought after and it is what I have always wanted to do! I think will peruse the job sections and see if anything comes up, as you never know.

I know that a lot of the way I feel is just down to me- I'm quite a passionate, strong character and I can be prone to over reacting! On the other hand, many of the girls at work feel the same way, so I know it is not all just me!

Funnily enough, and this may just be a coincidence, but I looked back through my ttc diary and I had an 'emotional meltdown' at the same time last month- CD14-15. Maybe hormones are involved and that's why I get so sensitive about things?

Anyways, thanks so much for all your replies ladies. The support on pf is wonderful and I am very grateful.

XX

 

[Chazabell]

Hey honey

I felt in a similar position a few weeks ago before i had 2 weeks holiday. Love my job when im left alone, but they setting me unrealistic targets and job loads with no staff, then humiliating me with video mystrey shops and issuing a letter of concern after 9 years service on not the best wage

I'm like you tho, keep thinking about maternity leave. My thought at the min is aim to get pregnant sharpish....then go on maternity and leave! Im looking for a new job 'just incase' but i have 12 weeks notice to work if i wanted to leave

Is there any positions available in another department maybe? Ive put my name forward for a position that has no targets or real pressure to take me away for a few months.

Just remember its a job at the end of the day, switch off and leave all the shite at their door, dont bring it home with you.

Life is for living, lovig and laughing xxxxxx

 

[Emily0505]

No other departments as such unless I go to the head office which is about two hours drive away and don't fancy that commute!

I can totally relate to what you have said- unrealistic targets etc and micro managing everything! After 7 years, I do have a slight idea of how to do my job, so I don't need someone looking over my shoulder the whole time! Sure, once I've finished etc check my work then, but please leave me alone in the mean time!!!

I think my plan is like yours: bfp asap, maternity and then start fresh somewhere new! Am keeping an eye out just in case something crops up as you never know!

xx

 

[Jacq23]

Hi Emily,

I can relate to your situation. I'm not sure what your job is, I am a teacher, but due to the lack of full-time permanent jobs where I live I am now working in two schools, two days in each school but each day a different class. So that's 4 teachers to work with as I cover their classes, and 120 kids names to learn as well as their abilities. I'm only doing it this way as it is employment in the same local authority (I need 2 years continuous service to get maternity). It's exhausting me and I am tutoring privately too. I am just wishing to get pregnant to get me out of this madness but the exhaustion doesn't make for so much BDing!

Good luck to you honey and let us have our BFPs before the year is out!!
xx

 

[Emily0505]

I work in a rescue centre rehoming dogs and cats. I think that it half the problem to be honest. It is a job where you do become emotionally invested in what you are doing, and can be difficult to leave it at the door. Infact I am bringing my work home with me! Fostering 2 kittens at the moment, so being over tired isn't helping me behave rationally!! hehe!

I think you have to be a certain type of person to handle the emotional ups and downs of working with the animals (the people are another matter) and that is why there are issues perhaps- lots of passionate people with similar characters and all with strong opinions. That being said, I do get on well with the majority of the people I work with.

I think recently I've been having 'one of those days' a lot and it's just getting to me- some time off and some r + r may be all that is required. I've got some time off at the end of October, so hopefully that will see me right.

XX