major dilema

[lottielou]

Hey. Sorry to have to post this. And i know people will probably think im a total cow. But im pregnant. And im happy with the baby. In a stable financial position and slowly been prepared. However ive been thinking about endidng the relationship with my partner (the babys dad) i just am not happy. I did love this man. And now i just dont. I feel awful and dont know what to do for the baby. . I was reading the post by the guys whos girlfriend has left. And i now feel even worse. Ive tried to talk to my partner but its like brick wall. . Please help x

 

[C1978]

hey, look if you dont wanna be with him then its not right you stay together. as long as you think you've explored all avenues and tried to talk it through with him. but whatever happens he MUST be allowed to be involved. offer as much information as he requests. if you end up both not speaking then ensure a line of communication is left open. a family member if not you.
speaking as a father who is yet to meet his 4 month old daughter i can tell you how genuinely and utterly heartbreaking it is to go through this from the other side, mostly due to my child being used against me in spite.
break ups happen. just make sure you think of your future childs relationship with their father as paramount in your mind. its unfair on both of them if you dont.

 

[lottielou]

Yeah definatly wouldnt want them to not know each other. Its not fair on yhe baby. And to be honest thats the only reason im slogging it out. I dont want to be with him for a relationship. But i dont want to make my babys life harder. From a split family myself. Parents can be so spiteful and i ended up hating my father. But thanks for the input

 

[LYLLJellyTots]

I think c1978 has given some great advice there TBH, I was a single mum for a long time and ultimately that was a lot better than being in a bad relationship, unhappy parents = unhappy baby x it's better to be true to yourself & not be with someone you don't want to stay with then be really unhappy xx please try & keep that communication open & honest with bubas dad though & allow him that input x my sons dad just wasn't interested after we split up an has only recently been in contact again even though I tried my best to keep that communication open. I needed to know hand on heart that I had done my best for my little boy to know his dad, the rest was down to him x as long as you know in your heart you have tried your best that's all you can do x good luck with everything hun x

 

[lottielou]

Massive thankyou both of you. Im afraid that the situation only got worse. But i did take your advice and at the moment he says he doesnt want to be involved. But he might change his mind. So i guess we will see whats going on x

 

[C1978]

Please remember this mans world might've just been blown apart. He could be utterly distraught. Read my thread for an example. He may need time to get used to the idea of being a single dad so allow him that at least. Just make sure he knows there is always a door open for him and his child.
from experience being shut out from your first born is the most hurtful thing anyone had ever done to me.
Congrats on the pregnancy tho and good luck! X

 

[lottielou]

Yeah i think ive tried to handle it in the best way. We had a massive arfument but in the end both agreed to separate. And it wouldnt be fair on thebaby to not have a dad. Yeah your advice has helped me to try harder to explain and he definatly knows that he can see the babyas long as we sort it out. Tho i do have to say that i havnt let him come to the reat of the scans. But i will promise to keep him involved as much as poss. With pics etc. Thanks guys x