looking forward not back :)

[deedee84]

so for a week i have had between spotting and bleeding varying from brown coloured spotting to bright red blood and small clots and mid way through all this i had some really sever pains so i managed to get in for an early scan today (would of been 6 weeks preg) they did the scan and couldnt see anything at all so did an internal and again saw nothing apart from "free fluid" as they put it. I ended up getting admitted into hospital due to a suspected ectopic pregnancy spent 5hrs sat in a&e due to no beds, bloods taken cannula fitted etc, had swabs and an examination, anyway the gyn said that after piecing all this info together it suggested it wasnt an ectopic as my hcg levels were only 174 and that i had probably miscarried a couple of weeks ago but only just started losing recently. I have to go back fri for hcg checking to make sure its going down. To be honest i see it like this...obviously there was something not right the the foetus and thats why it happened, i'm not sad, what will be will be and things happen for a reason...all i can do now is look forward and get back to TTC and making our little family complete, theres no doubt after this that it will be more worrying as i will probably worry that it might happen again but this is life and theres nothing i can do to change things...so thats my story xxxxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

So sorry for your loss x

 

[dyscochick]

so sorry for your loss, I admire how positive you are, its what I have kept telling myself ever since my mc but have never been that convincing. My thoughts are with you, if you HCG levels are dropping then your body is getting back to normal and hopefully TTC will be just around the corner for you xx

 

[deedee84]

thanks hun and yeah hopefully a nice lower hcg friday making sure everythings going back to normal! hope ur ok too hun, i think i'm just so positive as i must of miscarried at 4weeks preg meaning embryo would have only been 2wk so extremely early, dont think i would have been as positive if i had of been further on in the pregnancy though hugs xx

 

[laurat]

So sorry for your loss! I had pretty much the same experience. Nothing on the scan but a thickened womb lining. I had to go back for 2 weeks till my hcg went below 5 and that was it. Take care of yourself!

 

[deedee84]

thanks laurat...i was other way around, they said my lining was very thin, only 5mm and they would of expected it to be thicker! xx

 

[kanga86]

So sorry to hear this deedee , I was following ur ttc and tri1 journey, kinda like a stalker lol
I hope that ur hcg levels are lower on Friday so u can ttc again! Xx

 

[Hope81]

aww deedee so sorry for your loss, i like how positive you are it was an early pregnancy mc, you will be back TTC soon

 

[babystar]

I'm so sorry sweetie xx

 

[deedee84]

so this weekend i had a big blow out, i think i drunk enough alcohol to cover the 3weeks i didnt have any, and this resulted in tears and realising how much of a barrier i had put up! turns out my OH has been finding it really hard and because i have been trying to be so strong and positive he thought that i didnt care about having another baby etc which upset me again as i felt i hadnt been there for him! he just didnt seem to want to talk about things before though so i just assumed he was ok. Anyway we had a really good chat and a cry sunday night and now its all been aired i feel much better as does my OH, i think were finally ready to move on from this, its been a huge weight off my shoulders talking about it, i think this weekend was what i really needed! i think also having to have my bloods done again sunday (as on friday hcg was still 174) and gettin the news that they had halved kind of made everything sink in a little more especially when the doctor said "i'm sorry about your miscarriage" i was happy the hcg had gone down but sad as i knew it was all final etc! but i'm feeling more happier today and now i know its time to move on xx

 

[dyscochick]

Wow you are an amazing lady! good luck with ttc and glad to hear your levels are dropping adn its ever closer!

 

[deedee84]

thanks hun glad my body is getting back to normal finally. xx