just so fed up

[prettypenguin]

Feel like bursting into tears, been rowing with oh for ages now near enough every weekend, anyway last weekebd was a big one and we made friends and i don't know I just honestly thought it was different...its sometimes my fault for starting arguements I admit but he really annoys me how selfish he can be in some ways. So we've never took c to mil house as its filthy and I'm a bit of a freak with cleanliness, and it really is a mess this place, but the night before last I suggested we go as I really want to make the effort and be a better person for Charlie's sake, and to keep oh n his mum happy. So I did feel uncomfortable there, Charlie was crying cause he was tired n I just wanted to cuddle him to get him off to sleep. Mil took over n passed him to her daughter who's 13 and was being noisy and poking his face, then he was passed to bil, who literally gets a wash once in a blue moon so I just kept it all inside, charlie was screaming and i just felt like saying Ffs its past his naptine let him fing sleep! But we eventually left and I managed to keep it in and a smile on my face. So we went food shopping n then I said why dont we go to get oh a bike helmet for when he passes his test cause it'll be a nice drive to get c to sleep, as the shops a while away. He said ok, sat nav wa being rubbish but we were nearly there n c was still asleep, I said think we will stay in the car as don't wanna drag him out the car when he's asleep (he was snoring his little head off) so oh gets annoyed says either all go in or all go hone he didn't drive all this way to walk round a shop by himself (i don't know what yhe prob was) so I said if you're gonna be like that well go home, he view the steering wheel starts shouting, waking Charlie up anyway so I just ignored him, later on I was taking c for a big walk so invited him, did nothing but argue again so I said its not working is it wed be better off apart than arguing in front of Lo, so he went on thos works do last night, I text him saying consider yourself single I'm looking for housing etc, he said he wants to make it work...but I just can't anymore he's said some horrible things to me, such as im not putting much effort into my appearence anymore, no wonder I have no friends cause im a horrible person, I don't look after the house just do a few diahes n stick c in front of the telly all day which is complete bull I'm so upset with him. Anyway last night he got home drunk, put something plastic cooking in the oven, woke up to Charlie coughing and smoke everywhere he was flat out on the couch, still is right now, ive had 3 hrs sleep airing the house out n sorting Charlie out. Just feel fed up, i never go out and dont have many friends have lost all my confidence and now feel like ive failed Charlie in splitting up with oh, was looking at council houses last night as can't afford mortgage and don't have a job, all of them were in bad areas and expense just want to cry xxxx

 

[BevG]

i would have thrown a bucket of water on him, told him to use that to put out the fire he started when cooking drunk, packed a bag and left saying if he wanted to be suicidal he could do it alone!

 

[LaurenMM]

Aw hun u poor thing I really don't know what to say because I've never really been in this kinda situation... all I can say hun is that you're clearly not happy and last night he put you both in danger with utter stupidity and selfishness, you need to get out. Can you go to anyone for advice and see what you're entitled to etc? I know how you feel about cleanliness + hygiene etc and people treating Angel like a pass the parcel, esp when she's tired really pisses me off. People just have to accept I'm her parent at the end of the day. You're not a horrible person at all hun really hope you'll be ok xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[prettypenguin]

I've gone my mums this morning left the house a mess left his Easter egg in the living room, been at my mums n he's just text saying what time am i back he can make me a roast chicken if I like?? I don't even know what to say to that .. xx

 

[pinkyprincess]

Maybe it's his way of saying sorry? I'm not condoning his behaviour buy maybe he feels bad!


Sorry your having a rough time. Have u spoken to your mum about it?

 

[prettypenguin]

Yeah she's quite diplomatic she is annoyed about the cooking. I'm gonna have to go back soon, I've not text him back, I feel like saying you think a flaming roast chickens gonna make up for how you make me feel like nothing, nearly causing a fire??what if I hadn't woke up. I dunno if he thinks I'm ok with him cause I left him his Easter eggs but I was doing it for charlies sake, as we were gonna do an egg hunt but couldn't be bothered this morning just wanted to go xx