Just need to let it all out after miscarriage at 11 weeks

[Stacygirlxx]

HI All,
I found this forum when reading about other peoples sad losses. I have just had a horrendous experience and feel i need to write it down and let it out. I have not cried yet. Let me start by saying i am so very fortunate to have a beautiful three year old daughter so this misscariage was my second child so to speak.
A couple of weeks ago i started to panic as i didn't think things were right. It was just an awful feeling. I bought a professional grade doppler and to my despair - couldn't find a heart beat. I had no pain, bleeding but I just knew something was wrong.
The next day I saw a tiny streak of red blood and panicked (yes again!), so I rang my midwife who booked me into my local EPU after the weekend (it was fri). The next day i kept finding blood when I wiped and was trying to remain positive. However, on the Sun the bleeding became heavier and I felt stabbing pains. I went to my local A+E where they externally scanned me. All we could see on the screen was an empty sac. The Doctor kept saying my dates were wrong, but I knew they weren't. Strangely in my panic feeling strange a few days earlier, i had come across forums about Blighted Ovums, something of which i'd never heard of before. I went to my appointment at th EPU on the Mon where they performed an internal scan and confirmed a blighted ovum. They sent me home with a leaflet.
THe next day I began bleeding heavy, then i was going through a thick pad every minute or two. I knew I needed an ambulance after I had hemmoraged after giving birth. It was pouring out of me i was in agony and terrified. Not long after I arrived I passed a huge mass of clotting the size of a brain - the doctor said it had been stuck in my cervix, hence the bleeding. Then I went dizzy and my BP dropped, I had gone into shock due to the blood loss. It was really scary. Once I was stabilized they looked and said it was all gone, a complete miscarriage.
I am left feeling shocked I was totally unprepared for the whole horrific experience. The only thing i feel lucky about is not having to pass a baby. I could write for hours sorry.
All my love goes out to those with similar experiences.

 

[dyscochick]

Bless you stacy thats as awful experience. Mc's are never nice, although you had a particularly bad experience, that was a lot of blood hun and a huge clot to pass. I'm glad you have a little one to comfort you at this time but i'm sure it doesn't make your loss any easier. We are all here on the forum if you need support, to share etc. I was told at my 11 week scan that there was a baby but no heartbeat so had a medically induced miscarriage. I've been here ever since hopping to restart my tic journey year. big xxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

So sorry that you had such a bad experience.

As Dysco says having a M/c is never easy but luckily all mine have occured naturally and have not required any medical intervention.

It will take time hun to get over both the actual M/c and the trauma of how it happened. In the meantime take it easy and try not to dwell on ho it happened. Grieve you loss sweetie but try not to focus too much on the physical part of it if at all possible!

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[lisey27]

I am so so sorry to read what you have been through, it is such a horrible and horrendous thing to have to go through. This forum is a fantastic outlet for your thoughts and feelings and all the ladies are fab with their support and kind words so if you want to write and write then do it, let it out if you need to xxx

 

[Stacygirlxx]

Thank you soo much for your kind words of support. It is such a relief to talk to people who understand. It is a lonely place when no-one wants to talk about something thats important to you. I think it is perhaps one of those experiences people don't like to contemplate, except for when it happens to themselves.
I wish you all the best of luck in the future.
Lots of love xxxxx

 

[jules84]

So sorry for your loss, that sounds horrendous xxx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Hi Stacy, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Placing it all on here has really helped me & I hope you have the same comfort from it. Xx

 

[laurat]

Im sorry for your loss! It is a truly heartbreaking experience to have to go through and yours sounds particularly horrendous! Take care! Xxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Stacey - really sorry this happened to you, sounds very simular to my own experiance in march 2010 , MMC at 11 weeks and ended up in A&E with collapsed veins and needing blood tranfusions and then a D&C op.

Rest up, you will feel very tired after that amount of blood losss, look into Iron suppliments if an issue to get you back on track again.

It is such an awful time for you , but it really does get easier to manage over time, keep doing what your doing by talking about it, it really does help you in some way

take care XX

 

[EmmaN27]

So sorry to hear what you have been through xxx