'Its not the end of the world!'

Discussion in 'Long Term TTC & Fertility Issues' started by Chazabell, Jan 1, 2012.

  1. Chazabell

    Chazabell Well-Known Member

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    We told a very good friend our situation and that was his response :shock:

    I was fuming :mad:

    'Oooo but you can have a surrogate, foster or adopt, its not the end of the world!' <------ why didnt he just call me baron?

    I had to walk off. As far as im concerned it f***ing well is the end of the world!!

    Im beginning to think telling our friends is not a good idea. We only told him because he said 'oooo it will be you 2 soon'

    Oooo is so pissing hard sometimes!

    xxxx
     
  2. nicky1987

    nicky1987 Well-Known Member

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    I have cried so many tears from people saying to me "ooo it'll be you next" or "dont you think its time you started a family" Sometimes i just want to scream our situation at people but that doesnt help either. I have never ever felt so lost and sometimes lonely before! Its hard to judge peoples responses because they may be shocked and not know what to say or they may just genuinly believe that its not the end of the world.

    All i can say is keep your chin up, keep that beautiful smile on your face and just focus on your next step to your beautiful little baby. It will happen xxxxx
     
  3. LouiseB

    LouiseB Well-Known Member

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    The problem is that he is a he.

    Even guys going through the worst case scenario like my hubby have an element of detechment about the consequences and impact of the situation...

    You just need to choose who you tell carefully if you are sensitive to ignorant comments. People just don't understand the emotions involved in a situation that they haven't been in themselves so you have to let some things slide.

    I'm sure he didn't mean to make out it was no big deal. In a roundabout way he was saying that everything will be ok :)
     
  4. Binzy

    Binzy Well-Known Member

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    I can fully understand where you're coming from. It's like everything...till it's you, it's not so bad.
    In my opinion, like Louise said, men have zero tact and say the first thing that comes into their head and then forget about it, unlike us women who remember every little comment made from primary school onwards ;-)
     
  5. nicky1987

    nicky1987 Well-Known Member

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    I have had so many arguments with OH about the fact that he never really talks about it and when i try to talk to him he just says all we can do is wait and see. I dont want to wait and see i chuffing well want to know now! But when i broke down he said to me that by telling me how he really feels it will make me panic more so hed rather just wait until we know the full facts before he starts working himself up. So much easier for them to be laid back about it all!! xx
     
  6. Kay Kay

    Kay Kay Well-Known Member

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    Chaza, I have to agree with Louise and have learned the hard way about who I choose to tell.

    I recently found out one of my best friends told a friend of hers about our struggles and I was (still am) quite hurt that she's been talking about me behind my back, even though I know she genuinely cares about me. My hubby just said tonight 'be careful who you trust with personal stuff like that'.

    But since my other friend had her baby I feel like I can't really talk to her about my situation anymore (she was always the one I talked to cos she struggled to concieve for 3 yrs so she was a source of knowledge and support). I just don't want to bother her now so reached out to my other 2 best friends but I'm starting to regret telling this friend. The other one has actually been great to talk to, herself NTNP at the mo. Hopefully I can help her when she is ttc although I pray to god she doesn't have any issues and she falls quickly.

    It's difficult to not get upset when people say things that are devastating to you but they honestly have no clue how hurtful their words are, esp a man :eh:
     

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