"It never did me any harm"

[Lulu_Laroo]

...anybody else sick of hearing this? Or "Well, I did it with MY kids and it never did them any harm!" - usually coming from somebody much older.
I've heard it so many times (mainly from MIL) and it's getting on my nerves! It's basically interfering with my way of parenting. Yes, you did things differently 27 years ago when your son was a baby, but that's just it - it was 27 years ago! Things are very different now, there's been a ton more research. I'm not going to ignore the advice of healthcare professionals because they wouldn't tell you not to do certain things for no reason, would they?!

I do listen to my own instincts, but when it comes to certain things I am happy to do what I'm told if it comes to my babys health and/or wellbeing. I'm sick of being scoffed at or even ridiculed for wanting to actually go by advice given to me by healthcare professionals.
It makes me laugh how everybody likes to have a say in how you bring your child up!

Rant over!

 

[littlemiss83]

I see where your coming from.

I've heard this alot, I think alot of the time the older generation try to make it a bit easier for us modern mums by telling us..things were ok back then ect...I brought up my baby fine. back in those days things in general were simpler & now there is alot of people who do un-necessary things which can cause more stress ect.

It will be the same for us in years to come, when our children have children & maybe there's pointless things the mums will do in the future that we know is un-necessary as we've been through bring up a child without it and had no problems!

 

[Lulu_Laroo]

Don't mind me, I was in a foul mood when I wrote that post, haha! I know people don't mean any harm when they say it, I've just had so many people trying to tell me what to do recently, I needed to get it off my chest!

 

[KellyHook]

oh hun... i know how you feel when i had brooke, omg, it was the worst especially with my MIL and my Nan....i use to get really pee'd off with them as i knew i was doing a good job so why couldnt they just let me be..

BUT.. i had to apologise to my Nan.

When my brother had his baby it was really hard to bite my tongue, i so wanted to help them, what worked for me i wanted to work for them, i just came realise its all part of having a newborn, everyone wants to give you their advice.but make sure you do things that you want to, its up to you if you want to take their advice but your poppy's mummy and you have to raise her.. your doing a fantastic job!

I felt exactly the same as you! I wanted to shout ' ITS MY BABY, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!'


xxx

 

[Binzy]

Years ago people thought it was fine to smoke like chimneys around kids now no one would dream of doing such a thing!
I too am sick of MiL's advice, she always thinks he's cold or I'm spoiling him by picking him up when he screams...drives me nuts!

 

[xxbeckyxx]

Haha when I was talking to my mum about Lou's weaning she said 'well all of you were brought up on Marmite sandwiches, and you're fine'....I was like 'actually, I have a really high salt diet and I'm struggling to lower my salt intake, and I still have Marmite on toast for breakfast every morning'

 

[Piglet's Mama]

My Nan is always saying "don't pick that child up" if I take Brooke in in her car seat. And I'm like "I need to take her coat off..." ugh! And she's always asking if I've got a vest on her or a hat for her! Arghhhh! Leave me alone! X

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

i hate this too!

i hear it all the time because i am classed as 'alternative'

the best one i can remember is when Jasper was 2 weeks old and mum said we should put him in his car seat IN THE GARDEN so we could eat our dinner in peace!!

'never did you any harm'

are you insane woman?

she also has a mad obsession with putting bleach in EVERYTHING (including baby baths)

 

[littlemiss83]

My Nan is always saying "don't pick that child up" if I take Brooke in in her car seat. And I'm like "I need to take her coat off..." ugh! And she's always asking if I've got a vest on her or a hat for her! Arghhhh! Leave me alone! X

My great gran was still alive when I had my first - she was 92 & when I took baby round in car seat she'd say...you leave that wean alone, dont u dare pick her up looooool - and if I was fussing over her she'd say....stop fussing over that wean, she's fine looool miss my wee grannie

 

[Binzy]

Bleach in a baby bath? Couldn't get more unnatural could you!

 

[NinjaKitty]

Urgh what is it about bleach. My mum coats her house in the stuff. I wouldn't mind but I think it makes everything smell like wee.

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

'just a little bit of bleach' is like my mums catchphrase. She put the baby in the washing up bowl the other day and i came down and i was like 'mum have you put bleach in that' she said 'no no, i knew that you wouldnt like it and you are his mum'

so read between the lines, she thinks its PERFECTLY acceptable to put bleach in a baby bath, she just didnt coz its MY baby (thank god i would have killed her)

so she obviously put bleach in my baths (mind you she used to do that when i was a teenager) she would go out of her way to 'run me a bath' and put bleach in it!

its her answer to everything, i got some flowers for the angel babies cremation and she said 'Oh you know what will make them last that little bit longer' i said 'Mum if you mention a little bit of bleach i will hang up on you' and she said that is exactly what she was going to say!

 

[inky]

I get this a lot of my MIL, she's also said I should put LO in the garden so I can 'get on with my chores'. She then proceeded to tell me she always put her kids in the garden so she could get on with things without hearing them cry!!! I told her that would be classed as child cruelty these days and she just laughed (she wasn't a cruel mother by any means, its just how things were done in her family)

Little did she know she'd just ruined her already thin chance of ever having LO overnight...she also tells me I'm 'making a rod for my own back' as I've always tended to him whenever he cries, and for some reason is obsessed with giving him a cup of tea, although she finally seems to understand that he is not, under any circumstance, allowed to drink tea!

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

hahahah thats right! Fill em up with caffine and bleach and leave em in the garden!

What do these women think they are doing??? And i wonder what it will be for our generation? what madness will we attempt to pass down?

Mum sees now though, the benefits of seeing to Jaspers needs (without bleach and tea) because he is actually the bestest most chilled out and happy baby ever

 

[NinjaKitty]

Good grief I'm amazed that we all survived. Now u come to mention it I remember having tea and coffee when I was really small. I think I'm gonna be a horror about not giving him sweets too. I deffo got all the sweets I wanted as a kid and you can tell unfortunately. No way that is happening when mine is wee, everything in moderation as they say.

 

[inky]

Yeah thats something else I get pulled up on too, I don't let LO have chocolate or anything like that. It's great because he would much rather have some blueberries or raisins instead. MIL doesn't understand though, we fell out at Easter when I told her not to waster her money on an egg, and then again a few months ago when I walked in on her in the kitchen just in time to see her giving LO a giant cookie. Of course he loved it and I didn't want to confuse him by taking it away so just broke it in half and let him eat that. I was absolutely fkn furious! She'd given it to him knowing full well I would have said no if she asked

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

have you tried 9-bars? You get them in the 'gluten free' section of tesco, they are 9 different seeds with a carob topping (like chocolate but not) Jasper thinks they are sweeties, they are really good for him and keep him regular

we give him one a day, along with a dried fruit school bar

 

[inky]

Ooh no not tried them, am shopping later so will have a look! We like the fruit bars too, oh and the kiddylicious fruit wriggles, LO absolutely loves them!

 

[evie_smith]

Hehe I've had the opposite problems haha! When I had belle I wanted her to settle herself a bit so I used to pop her in her cot after she was fully clean and bottle and hugged so she wouldn't get "clingy" but mil said if they cry pick them up lol! (like straight away) Strange isn't it (I wouldn't leave her for more than 10min btw and if I could tell she was getting frustrated I would see to her) wouldn't dream of putting her in the garden or another room lol!! I'm very strict with bedtimes too but mil let's them stay up. I don't mind they only go over 1 times every 2 weeks and they are old enough now to know what they can do at nannies and what they can do at home I also don't buy choc and things but mil brings them over a bag each every week lol! Also when I'm out and about I boil chloe's bottles in a pan and say "well my nan did it haha!" at home I cold water sterilise but when I'm out I make do lol! I've taken a bit of mil advice and mine and it works pretty well but I think in the first few months of new mummy I was the same the whole "my child thankyou but no" lol! But now I'm happy to give and take mil and me get on well and she respects my way and I respect hers so all good now xx

 

[Binzy]

I'm giggling at your Mum trying to run you a bath and secretly dousing you with bleach.
Did she scrub you with a wire brush too?