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[lizziimayy]

I'm starting to worry about my mental health at the moment.
I'm finding myself getting very low at the moment. I love my baby to bits but I'm find it very difficult.

She used to sleep 6-8 hours undistributed at night and only wake up once and now shes up every 2-3 hours. She's very difficult to get to sleep in the day time, she often wakes if I move her or takes an hour to get to sleep and will only sleep for half an hour. If she falls asleep in the pram/car/sling she wakes up as soon as we stop moving. I just feel like my whole life is just a constant battle to get her to sleep which I usually fail and it really gets me down. I really want her to get enough sleep and I worry that she doesn't sleep near enough what she's supposed to. I feel really happy if she's had a good day of naps but if it's been a bad day a feel really low. If she won't sleep I found myself crying and getting really fed up with her which makes me feel awful as she's just a baby and I shouldn't get angry at her

I live in a new area where I don't know anyone so I feel very lonely having no friends. I'm going to baby groups and trying to fit in with the other Mums but I haven't quite managed yet. Baby groups are also off for two weeks! I'm starting baby sensory on Friday so I'm hoping to meet some new Mums there.

I'm 21 and have Uni exams to worry about in January. All my friends are getting jobs, graduating and travelling and I feel like my life is kind of over and that I'll never be able to do any of those things. I don't want to wish away my beautiful baby girl but I really can't wait to be able to go on more days out to children's activities so we can enjoy days out.

I'm sorry if I sound horrible or moany but I wanted to know what the signs of PND are? I worried that I'll eventually end up there

 

[xjdx]

I don't want to read and run, I have no knowledge of PND.

If your very concerned contact your Health Visitor. They are there to help.
Every mum has an odd cry occasionally we wouldn't be normal if everything didn't get to over whelming for us.

Do you have a partner? Could they not help out more?

Maybe your daughter is having a growing spurt? Teething? or might just be off in general?
The baby clubs will help out a lot and get you doing something different instead of being stuck in a rut.

Hope your ok and feel better soon xx

 

[kumber]

There's a sleep regression at 4 months which could be the cause. It won't last forever (even though it feels like it!) but it's really frigging hard while you're in it.

I was directed to a great website called mummy social, it helps connect you to mums in your local area.

I fully understand your concerns about uni - my hubby is 21 amd is about to start his final year. It's probably easier for us cus he's not the mom but we're under no illusions it'll be bloody difficult. Your life really is a stand still but keep focusing on the fact it's only 9 months and then you will graduate and have an amazing life for both of you. She won't ever remember this time so try not to get upset (easier said than done!).

Definitely talk to your hv about how you feel, she'll be able to help. If you ever need to talk, my inbox is always open to you. Be kind to yourself hun.

 

[Emmajaine]

First off.. Big hugs! You are doing a fab job with your little girl, never doubt that! Being a mum is bloody hard, so it is natural to have some low moments.

PND comes in all shapes and sizes (just like depression does), for me it was that I was constantly teary, not bonding with my baby, always wanting to sleep and feeling like a complete failure (beating myself up over the fact I couldn't breast feed, that I had needed a c section, basically anything and everything). In a way I was lucky as I knew the signs to look out for (have had a few other episodes of depression) so got treatment within a month of my LG being born, and am in a much better place now, but it can take a while for the symptoms to become apparent. But if it is PND, please know that it will get better, with the right help and support.

I'd definitely advise speaking to your HV, they will be able to advise you and can go through your symptoms etc to see if it is worth going to see your GP.

Feel free to PM me if you want. Take care and be kind to yourself.

Em x

 

[lizziimayy]

Thanks for your kind words ladies I really appreciate it! I love breastfeeding my baby but I wish that the hubby could help more! I think the lack of sleep is starting to take it's toll! Hopefully the sleep regression will get better I miss how well she used to sleep!

 

[Rooster30]

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. To be honest when a baby doesn't sleep it is really stressful. I suffer with anxiety and even today I was starting to get a little wound up with my usually very good girl.

I suffered PND with my son. It happened from the get go, on the post natal ward with midwives who did not look after me. My son then just did not sleep, when he woke in the night it would take HOURS to resettle him. He suffered terrible colic, hated baths, hated being in the car, rarely slept during walks and I was away from my parents. I couldn't bond with him. I hated my days, I hated being a mummy and that my existence was dealing with a screaming child.

PND is horrid. My experience of my first year with my son still brings anxiety in me. Talking to my GP and HV really helped. We also moved to be near my parents and life slowly got better. The HV helped tackle the sleep issue to start with and once that got sorted I started to relax more and enjoy him.

If you are feeling especially down and/or crying a lot to then please seek help. Is there anyone who can look after your LO for a few hours so you can have some 'me' time?

You are welcome to PM me also

 

[Cakey]

I went/still am going through something similar with Oscar. I honestly think I was so low from lack of sleep rather than PND, not sleeping properly is awful and it really gets to you, especially when it's weeks on end.
I tried absolutely everything to get him to sleep through longer but he was just not having it, he would scream if I didn't feed him. Now we bed share and I know it's not for everyone, but it does really work for us. You just need to try anything and everything to get more sleep, it's a real drag if you can't. I really hope you find something that helps, it's awful to go through it xxx

 

[Orion]

If you're feeling down regularly, talk you your HV or GP. They're there to help.

Also maybe look online for your local children's centre or your uni for groups. Sometimes they do specific baby groups for young mums (under 25s I think). It might help to meet some more mums more your own age who are dealing with the same things.

My baby only sleeps in short bursts too. But I can see he's not tired, so he's doing what's right for him. We go for a walk every day where he will nap I'm his pram and I really enjoy the walk. I make sure I sit and have a cuppa in that half an hour he sleeps rather than do jobs.

Have you tried carrying them round in a sling in the day? Many babies sleep while strapped to mum, and you can get on with whatever you need to.

 

[lizziimayy]

Yeah I try everything walks, sling! Can usually get half an hour sleep at least. At the moment if she doesn't sleep enough I just get so upset and frustrated. I think I'm fixating too much on how much sleep she gets a day. Doesn't help being so sleep deprived I just want her to get enough sleep and no matter how hard I try I don't think she does

 

[JD.Deedee]

Well it's normal to an extend, it's harder when you're alone in an area or don't have any social connections.. It is however how it plays out in the time coming, do you suspect you might get stuck in this cycle and keep hold of the negative emotions or can you see it changing when you get more sleep and start being more social (by going to baby groups or other mummy meets?) If you think the first, talk to your HV or GP. If it's the second then try to safely co-sleep, join baby groups, contact your local surestart centre, go to mummy meet ups and see how you get on. And if you're getting back into the first thoughts go see HV or GP, that's what they're there for..

 

[Rooster30]

It it's any consolation my daughter only naps for 30-45min stretches during the day about every 1.45-2 hours. She sleeps well at night on 5, 7oz bottles fitted in during the day. Is she gaining weight well off your breastmilk? She doesn't need more milk does she?

 

[Orion]

Yeah I try everything walks, sling! Can usually get half an hour sleep at least. At the moment if she doesn't sleep enough I just get so upset and frustrated. I think I'm fixating too much on how much sleep she gets a day. Doesn't help being so sleep deprived I just want her to get enough sleep and no matter how hard I try I don't think she does

As long as they're not ratty and tired all day, then they'll sleep as much as they need.

For my little one, I get 30 min naps a time no matter what during the day. And 3-4 hours a time at night. But he wakes up, eats, has his nappy changed, then we do something for a couple of hours before the next nap. If I see he's tired I'll put him in his cot and put his mobile on. If he doesn't look that tired, I just let him lie in my arms covered in a blanket whilst I watch tv, and if he nods off, I transfer him to his bed.

There's no magical number they should hit. Every baby is different, and it can vary day by day too.