I just really cannot do this anymore...

[BabysMomma]

Avery is all over the place with sleep. She has her own ideas on when she wants to sleep. She grabs cat naps here and there which aren't enough for her but she fights sleep all of the time

Just when I think that she's finally fallen into a routine...she changes like the wind and sleeps whenever. Like today she's up from 8am, whinging about 13.38 so I have to actually swaddle her (she hated this when younger) before she'll sleep, she drifts off and then around 14.00 is awake again! She got fed, changed, watched a bit of Iggle Piggle, I played with her, gave her 100mls of juice cos she's started eating purees and I don't want her to get constipated again, and she starts her high pitched squeal and showing signs of tiredness! So I've swaddled her and as of just after 17.00 there, she's asleep again! This means that my plans for bedtime at 8pm are scuppered.

What am I doing wrong ladies? Cos I really don't know. I'm exhausted, weepy (other crap going on too) and I feel like I'm a useless mother who can't get her baby into a sleep routine! Should I set specific times for naps and bedtime and not deviate from them?

It seems that everyone else around me has their children sleeping a 12 hour shift. When Avery actually goes to sleep at night I'm lucky to get 8 hours of unsettled sleep cos she'll wake up wanting her dummy on occasions or she'll just fight sleep.

How do I even begin to get her into a routine? My DS was too long ago to remember but he just kinda fell into his own 7-7 routine. I think I've lost my confidence as a mother with a baby x

 

[Roo3]

My LO doesn't have set nap times and only sleeps during the day when he wants too. Yesterday for example he had a 10 minute nap in the morning, but then an hour and a half nap at lunch time. Today he had 40 minutes this morning, then 20 minutes this afternoon.
At night it's a different story. He has a bath at 7pm after he's had a story, then massage then bottle and bed whether he is tired or not. Sometimes it takes a while for him to go to sleep but he is asleep by 8pm at the latest.
He doesn't sleep through every night and I still have to give him his dummy a few times in the night if he wakes up for it.
One thing we do is not let him sleep after 4.30pm no matter what (unless we are in the car and he drops off but he gets woken up when we get home). We also put him in his bouncer after tea for about 30 minutes and that tires him out for bedtime. From 4.30pm onwards we do all we can to tire him out!!
Aparently if you get a bedtime routine in place, the daytimes fall into place. I'm still waiting for that to happen but I'm sure we'll get there.

 

[Cantstop]

You're definitely not alone - I'm the same as you in wondering if I should 'set' certain times for things, or just go with the flow doing set times when they suit, and I flit between thinking militant structure is the way to go, or whether to just go with her flow - all babies are different after all. My LO is certainly not a 7-7 type though; at her best she slept 6 hours after first falling asleep, but that was a good few months ago now and lately she's going to sleep at 9pm, sleeping a couple of hours, being up an hour or so, then sleeping 3 hours at a time till 8-9am.

A big change happened when we started weaning though - your day automatically gets more structured if you're trying to fit 3 meals in - we went from barely any routine to an actual thing by thing routine, if not exact time by time routine (same things in same order but not necessarily the exact same times as we get up different times depending on her) and this definitely helps, though hasn't actually made her sleep better or nap better!

Hope you get some answers and sleep soon! x

 

[Belfast girl]

you could try a 'rolling routine'. this is what i do with my little one. i know that if she is awake for more than a couple of hours during the day she can turn into a little ball of rage! she also feeds every 3.5 hours.

she goes to sleep at 7pm. we are too lazy to bath her every day so her bedtime routine is ahem, watching in the night garden, then upstairs for change into bedtime clothes, bottle then sleep.

she wakes anytime between 7.30 and 8.30 ish. if its earlier than this i tend not to get her up - we have a pooh lullaby thing or we stick her finger in her mouth and she sucks herself to sleep.

sorry this is not actually advice - but thought i would suggest as to me its a comprimise between a structured routine and going with the flow. i agree with can'tstop though, fitting in meals means that our day is getting a bit more structred but we are only on breakfast at the moment so not sure how this is going to go.

someone here said that the most important time for them to sleep is between 7-8pm and i believe that too be true. emma only sleeps for 1/2 hour during the day at a time.

 

[Alexandra84]

It seems that everyone else around me has their children sleeping a 12 hour shift. When Avery actually goes to sleep at night I'm lucky to get 8 hours of unsettled sleep cos she'll wake up wanting her dummy on occasions or she'll just fight sleep.

Nope, definitely not everyone. I really don't expect our LO to sleep a 12h shift anytime soon if at all. Our bed times are a bit variable (I can't really make her sleep) so it just depends on when she falls asleep be that 8pm or 12am... Don't beat yourself up to much about it, sleep can be disrupted for all sorts of reasons: development stages, teething, nightmares, over/under stimulation, the list goes on .

 

[Little Rose]

Hi - sorry to hear your feeling down.

My daughter used to wake loads in the night crying for her dummy. I bought her a "sleepytot"off amazon and it was money well spent. Its a soft rabbit with velcro on the hands and feet. Put a dummy on all four parts and the baby can find their own dummy in the night. Check it out. Might ease the interrupted sleep if nothing else.

Rose.

 

[vickib_1984]

When I had Thomas at 8 weeks he slept through the night but I struggled with napping in the day from about 4/5 months I then put him in his cot and he had a 2 hour nap every day after that he had dinner half hour play settling his tummy then bed it worked for me but possibly worth a go if your struggling xx

 

[AugustMum]

Do you leave it until she shows signs of tiredness before putting her for a nap? My LO was a nightmare for sleep (and still is at 16 months ) but I learnt that I couldnt leave her for longer than 1.5 hours before putting her for a nap. Each nap would only last between 20-30 minutes. She was a cat napper. This lasted for quite a while and even now if shes awake longer than 3 hours at a time she gets the grumps.

Dont worry abot her not sleeping through either. My LO was gone 6 months before she slept through and then it was about 10 hours. Now at 16 months shes a 13 hour a night girl and one or two 1hr naps so you might have that to look forward to! But honestly, up until 12 months it was hit and miss abour sleeping through and even now she wakes up occassionally.

 

[Yodabo]

Once you have nap times sorted you'll probably find she'll sleep better in the night for you, i know it sounds silly but sleeps breeds sleep. I know it's easier said than done but i think maybe if she's waking at 8am, see if she's ready for a nap at 10-11am. Then another at 2-3pm? Mine falls asleep in my arms even now when he goes for his naps and i'll lay him down on the couch when he's out of it then. At night it took me 8 months of hard work to get him to sleep through, but it's paid off in the end. He actually loves bedtime! I'm sending you a pm, hope it helps xx

 

[littlemiss83]

My LO is only 8 weeks, & he struggles to nap & my eldest LO used to be the same, i'd wait for eldest LO to fall asleep, she'd get over tired...not sleep & be grumpy i had to do what i'm trying to do with new LO which is designate certain sleep times thro the day, we've not established anything yet, but trying to get him into a dark/quiet part of the house & letting him lie there (anywhere apart from night time crib), if he starts crying i'll lift him but if its just a grumble I sit it thro & sometimes he does go to sleep!!

 

[BabysMomma]

Do you leave it until she shows signs of tiredness before putting her for a nap?

I do Maybe that's why she's so outta sorts... x

Ladies, thanks for all of your replies! It's really good to know that I'm not alone and to get to hear what you ladies do regarding sleep. I feel a good bit better now. x

Emma - you're a doll x

 

[Xcitedmum]

My LO is a real snoozer, she is fed at same times every day. Roughly about an hour and half after each feed she will snooze. The length of the nap can vary, if I miss the sleep signs in the evening she can be really cranky and will then start to fight sleep.

Don't be so hard on yourself babymomma, if she is feeding at routine times, she will start to sleep at routine times. It all fell into place for me when I started to get up every morning at 7am, at the start I wakened her once her bottle had cooled, now some mornings I will let her sleep on a wee bit but she too will waken shortly after 7 also...

 

[BabysMomma]

Thanks hun! x

Since I posted this topic I've tried to go with her showing signs of tiredness and it seems that she does want to nap often but she's just too darn nosey so I'm putting her straight into her Moses basket (which she's nearly grown out of!) and letting her moan herself to sleep and it seems to be working! She's not crying just kinda lulling herself to sleep iykwim.

But then this is Avery we're talking about so it could all be up in the air again tomorrow! Think positive

It's really good to hear other mothers' experiences cos I was stressing that she wasn't getting enough sleep but then stressing at times thinking that she might not sleep at night cos I let her sleep loads through the day. But it seems that she needs to be put down for sleep or she simply wouldn't fall asleep in my arms now. x

 

[Xcitedmum]

glad to hear things are looking up! My LO cranes her neck to the left or right when she wants to sleep, she likes to have a blanket touching her nose! Now that she is bigger she will lift her bib or a soft toy and cover her whole face and fall asleet as soon as it touches her face! so cute

 

[Franna75]

I realised only recently that I haven't been giving my LO enough opportunities to sleep. I always used to have him with me and then by 4pm he went into a rage, whilst being placid a lot of the time. So I have recently tried a routine that I found on the internet. We have been doing it for two days and it works well. I hate to hear him cry (when I put him to bed for naps) but he manages to go through the night better and be in a fun mood during hte day.
It is quite regimented but I think its going to be a God send.

http://www.boswellbunch.com/simone/Babies/4_Month_Olds....html

 

[BabysMomma]

Yeh Avery pushes her nose right into the side of her Moses basket while she's falling asleep so she usually snuggles into the left side of it. Strangely she likes t be swaddled now whereas before when younger she didn't. Seriously, she does everything backwards x

Franna75, the info from that link is really informative thanks. I'm willing to try anything! x

 

[littlemiss83]

I realised only recently that I haven't been giving my LO enough opportunities to sleep. I always used to have him with me and then by 4pm he went into a rage, whilst being placid a lot of the time. So I have recently tried a routine that I found on the internet. We have been doing it for two days and it works well. I hate to hear him cry (when I put him to bed for naps) but he manages to go through the night better and be in a fun mood during hte day.
It is quite regimented but I think its going to be a God send.

http://www.boswellbunch.com/simone/Babies/4_Month_Olds....html

I had a look through this website & I think we'll give it a go! I've always know Kayden doesn't sleep enough, but this has more or less confirmed it, plus he's been fussing at the start of his bottles. I defo dont give him enough oppertunity to sleep, I leave him til he starts falling asleep most of the time.

I was thinking if i did it this way I might feel a bit bad putting him down all the time? It does seem like alot of sleep, I suppose they need it!

 

[BabysMomma]

I know it's scary the amount of sleep they need! But I suppose the do need it in order to process all that they've learned etc I thought I was being good letting her tell me when she was tired but it obviously isn't working and she's a cranky LO.

That link has good info on it. I don't think I could stick to the exact routine but I'll use what I can from it and from what Emma pm'd me. I will gladly take all for my sanity x

 

[Belfast girl]

Even if my LO is laughing her head off and not showing any signs of tiredness I still settle her for a nap every 2 hours (it used to be every 1.5hrs). Otherwise she is unbearable and I find this way we can go for days without crying!
She only sleeps for 30-45mins with a slightly longer nap in the middle of the day.

 

[Cazza]

It is quite regimented but I think its going to be a God send.

http://www.boswellbunch.com/simone/Babies/4_Month_Olds....html

Thanks for that link - my LO is not here yet but I have no idea of what I shold be doing when she arrives so this has given me a good idea!