Is she pregnant?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Zippys~knight, Jun 21, 2005.

  1. Zippys~knight

    Zippys~knight Member

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    Hi to all, I'm new to these forums, so excuse me if i need correcting on anything...
    I'll get straight to the point...

    My fionce & I are 15, coming on 16 next month... We had sex saturday 11th, and things got extremly negative from there... we realised the condom had split, which caused tears from her... We went straight out and got the 'morning after pill' which apparently has a 95%+ chance of working if u take it within 12 hours of unprotected sex. bearing in mind she took it about 30 minutes afterwards...

    We also bought a pregnancy test that she could take when she was informed to, of which she did. This came up negative, and we were pleased, as we are not prepared for a child, and do not wish for one yet. However, she started her period Friday 17th & took the test (as she was indicated to do so when she was due).. I am male, and i do know the period only lasts 7 days.. (correct me if im wrong, heh..)... However, she called me about 4 hours ago, saying shes finished her period.. which is extremly strange? 3 days early from finishing?

    If anyone out there is in the same situation, and found a solution, explain in the simplist of ways please... I feel like i'm desperate for help... neither of our parents know, as one side would ban us from seeing eachother... so i cant go to them for help!

    My question is.. as the title says, is she pregnant? The test came up negative, but we r both a little paranoid that somethings wrong, and maybe she is? i need help A.S.A.P...

    --Addam, The nervous...
     
  2. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    first off- DON'T PANIC! You did the sensible thing by going for the morning after pill so quickly when you knew you weren't ready for kids. This exact same thing happened to me and my now husband when we were 18 and it was my first weekend at Uni. My period was extremely late and very short and I really freaked out. When I went to the doctor though they said that the pill affects your normal cycle for a while- basically the pill is just a super duper dose of hormones (made me feel very ill- I've taken it about 4 times in total in my life and it's thrown my periods out each time) so it makes your body do different things. Since her period was quite close to when she took it I really would think that it was this however if you're worried still you can go to the doctors or your local family planning clinic (who tend to be a lot easier to approach and more knowledgable in my experience- I live in a City but there's one near me that's just for teenagers- NHS direct would be able to tell you where your nearest FPC is if you don't know) and ask them for their opinion.

    Good luck! Your girlfriend is lucky to have such a caring guy! I remember when it happened to us I cried for two days and my guy wrote a stinky letter to Durex about how rubbish their condoms were as he didn't know what else to do!! They can and do split though- even when you're being careful- it happens to all of us sometime or another!

    +++
     
  3. -Cat-

    -Cat- Well-Known Member

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    Same here, when I was 16 I had a split condom and the morning after pill didnt work! Your chances of pregnancy are very slim, It might be worth doing another pregnancy test to be more sure though.
     
  4. Zippys~knight

    Zippys~knight Member

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    Thank u to both of you for replying so quickly, u've been a huge help, once i spent a little while with her explaining it, shes carmed down and gone back to her original self, which has made me happy & relaxed...

    We will be going to get another pregnancy test very soon, just to make sure, but apart from that, thank you so much for the explanation! I know where to come in future if we have any more problems! thanks again!

    --Addam, :D The happy :D
     
  5. Guest

    Hope you get a negative result, I'm guessing you should do as the morning after pill can play havoc.

    take care mate and let us know how u get on.
     
  6. Zippys~knight

    Zippys~knight Member

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    Hi all, As u requested, i'm happy to inform u my fionce got a nice big NEGATIVE on the Pregnancy test.. yey!

    However, we have coem across yet ANOTHER set back... opps..

    Its happened again... we had sex yesterday (Tuesday 28th).. and we once again went immediatly for advice... The advisor took her to somewheer more quiet, and asked for me to stay around.. So i did not get a big part of what advice she was told... however we did discuss with the advisor that it was barely 2-3 weeks ago that this happened the firs time...

    Here comes the problem.. She said that the "M A P" might not work this time as it isnt supposed to be taken on a regular basis... fair enough... However, she gave us the 2 "M A P"s and wished us the best of luck... the other advice she gave us, was to go to a family planning clinic, however we havent had time for that yet.. We are just going to see what the pills do, we r both hoping with all our hearts that its worked...

    I know it seems so negative about a child on a forums where some young ladies/women are looking forward to their kin, so me & my fionce give our apologies, but as u can see from our first post, we arnt ready for a child yet...

    So once again, i beg for ur help... We dont seem to be having much luck with condoms so far eh?... anyway, we have thought about her going on the pill, but its the trouble of keeping it from her parents.. which is trouble...

    I'm going to stop typing now, because its a LOOOOONG post already.. please, help!!

    --Addam, The worried.
     
  7. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    Hi again,

    as you say "oops"! Not to be too personal but maybe a new position is making this more likely to happen or something like that? The few times it happened to us was when we were trying something new or (trying to be as polite as possible) the condom got accidentally bent while it was on if you see what I mean or got bashed against something? Also lubrication can help to improve the efficiency of them. After the event that I told you about before I did go on the pill and it was totally the right thing for us to do at the time. I was at Uni so getting to the family planning clinic without my parents knowing to get the pill was easy and you don't have to back very often to get supplies but I did hide it from my parents when I was at home and in fact didn't tell them for years. Don't know why really as I was 18, just felt funny about it. I used to hide it and it never got found- it's easy enough to do if you're cunning.

    I wish you luck with the next few weeks- be extra nice to your fiance as taking the morning after pill made me feel awful and all over the place in a hormonal way so taking it again so close together will not be much fun for her, plus you have the extra stress etc. Going on the pill was good for us then as it made us worry less- especially after the accident as we got really paranoid although you do have to remember to take it and watch out for things that make it less efficient like anti-biotics and throwing up close to taking it.

    If I were you I'd go and visit your family planning clinic as they really are up to date with info and in my experience (of four different clinics over the years) they're really helpful and friendly.

    Let us know what happens
    +++
     
  8. Zippys~knight

    Zippys~knight Member

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    Hi Rosebay, thanks for replying quickly, and as my worrying kicked in a little bit to much earlier, and i apologise to everyone if i seemed abit like a childish idiot, as u already know, the nervs make us do different things!

    only a quick message from me (for once!), i do think now that maybe the pill is a good option, however, there was one detail all along i've forgot to tell u all...

    Me & my fiance live 2 hour train journey apart, (we r in England, me hertfordshire, she berkshire), so my journey on the trains is quite enjoyable, and we spend our time together as valuble as possible... I unfortunatly do not go down to her as often as i'd like, being truthful **grits his teeth in nervousness** i see her around 2-3-4 times a month **cries** however that will change hopefully...

    My main concern, is that as we do not see eachother often, would the pill still be ok to use when we barely have sex 2-3 times a month, i dont know anything about the pill, so i dont know how often u have to take it, none the less, i'm still concerned about her taking it on such a regular basis even tho our sex drive is rare/uncommon...

    ok, maybe this isnt a short message from me, hehe.. oh well, sorry to waste ur time!

    --Addam, The brainless teen **sigh**
     
  9. Guest

    it's not brainless - it's good to be asking questions!! The pill is definately a good idea - but used as back up with condoms also - that way no mistakes should ever happen. if the condom does split - then she is covered with the pill.

    Woman can take the pill n problem whether they are sexually active infrequently or everyday! It makes no difference. Ask her to go to see her GP/Family Planning Clinic/Brook. They will give her some advice on what choices of pill she has and then will prescribe her them - which are free. No details of this ever get passed onto parents if that is at all a concern?

    hope that helps!
     
  10. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    yeah it's not a stupid question at all! Basically you take the pill every day of the month (although some have a week's break when you don't take them- it depends on the type of pill you take) and then you're covered all of the time. If you use condoms as well you'll be very safe indeed so that's probably a very good idea! If you miss pills it gets less efficient and as I said before you have to beware of things that will make the pill not absorb- like anti-biotics, tummy bugs or throwing up after you've taken one. So it makes no difference how often you have sex or even if you have sex at all! Some other good things that come from being on the pill are that you know when your periods will be, that you can run two packs together and so not have a period (helpful for holidays and exams etc) and generally a lot of women find that they make their period pain better and that they have lighter, easier periods. These last few things were a big plus for me- some of my friends went on the pill years before they were sexually active because their doctors put them on it to ease their periods.

    Some people have side effects- headaches, putting on weight etc but this can sometimes be solved by swapping to a different brand- again your family planning clinic will tell you all of this and keep an eye on how it suits you. I was on it for about 6 years and it was totally the right thing for me at the time.

    On the long distance side- good for you! I know how that goes as well! We met at Uni interview when we were still at school and lived about 2hrs apart too- no cars etc! We saved all our money for train fares and tried to see each other as often as we could, wrote and phoned each other. That was for about a year- then I went to Uni and he took a year out to work to save some money as he had no parental support at Uni so again we were long distance for another year and broke! To cut a long story short we spent about 4 of the first 6 years of our relationship long distance- it's tough but worth it :). In a way it let us both concentrate on our own lives during the week and then our life together at the weekend and I wonder if this distance is what helped keep us together when we were actually changing and growing up a lot ourselves being quite young...? Who knows....!

    Anyway good luck with everything- if you have any more questions just ask :)

    +++
     
  11. Zippys~knight

    Zippys~knight Member

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    for once, i really am speechless, and i dont have any questions running through my mind right now! u've all answered them with perfect detail... and all i can say is thank you, so much.. really...

    and to Rosebay, its nice to know theres others out there who r in the same situation as us!

    --Addam, The relaxed
     
  12. Zippys~knight

    Zippys~knight Member

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    Hey again all, Me & Natt have discussed her going on the pill, and we both agreed its something to look into... However, u've said aslong as she isnt on anything medical? She takes ADHD Ritalin, i dont know if this would affect it.. please reply soon. thanks again :)

    --Addam, The nervous.
     
  13. Guest

    Best to ask the GP that one! none of us are probably qualifiedto mke that judgement really - unless obiously they know someone who has been in that position. There are so many types of pill out there at least one should be suitable to her. Most medicines don't effect the pill I don't think, just you medical history can do regarding migarines and heart disese within the family, etc.

    The only thing that I know can effect the pill generally is if she has sickness and/or diahorrea - this takes the effect of the pill away for a week after she starts to feel better again - and obiously at this time you need to be very carfeul.
     
  14. Zippys~knight

    Zippys~knight Member

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    Hi to all.. AGAIN.. lol... I need to ask a question and get an answer asap..

    I dont remember wether i've asked this and u've answered, or what.. i have no idea... And to be honest, i've JUST got off the phone from my fionce, and shes just started her period, so shes going to take the test tomorrow...

    As i've already explained, (i think)... Shes taken the morning after pill twice in 2 short spaces of time.. but i need an answer to my question..

    Is she going to be pregnant or not?

    she took the M A P first time on the 11th of June, then took the test when she was due, and it came negative.. shes now taken the M A P on the 28th of June (almost 2.5 weeks later) this is a very short space of time...

    Is it going to work? please reply quickly as shes going to tell me the result tomorrow, and i need to know what is more than likely going to be said!!

    --Addam, The recklously breaking down..
     
  15. Kim

    Kim Well-Known Member

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    Well I'd say if she's just started her period then she is not pregnant
     
  16. Guest

    i was in your situation last october and the MAP worked twice with me but when me and my ex partner of four years had a split condomm 28 weeks ago and i took the MAP it hadnt work not sure the reason but just hadnt - i deffiantly wasnt ready for a baby but i knew i couldnt have an abortion morally it was wrong for me (right for others) so i thought about adoption but now at 28 weeks pregnant i am so looking foward to being a mum nervous yes but looking forward to it.
    and by the way it is good you are asking these questions as you can prob tell i am a bit of a blonde and the girls / woman and occasional men on this forum are great
    any way got to go midwifes appointment (L) beat time :D
    loads a love sarah and bubba
    sorry for going on
     
  17. Zippys~knight

    Zippys~knight Member

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    hey again all,

    I'm happy to inform u all that the test result was negative! (my apologies to those that r looking forward to their kin!)... Me & my fionce will be getting another test sometime this week & she has agreed to taking another once she has finished her P... (i do not like referring to its whole spelling as i feel abit out of order talking about girls monthly problems)...

    Once the second test has come through, i'll post again, and give the definite result! thanks again to everybody for ur support & advice!

    -Addam, The relaxed..
     

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