Is it just my irrational pregnancy hormones?

[Kirsty.Y.84]

Please tell me if I it's just me being unreasonable but this has really stressed me out!

Last night my 2 sisters in law came round armed with looooads of baby stuff that they no longer need. Bearing in mind, one of them has already given us a lot of stuff, which we are extremely grateful for (moses basket, nursing chair, bouncer etc) but we had said to her that we have everything we need now, so could she keep anything else that she's got until we need it as we have no room to put it.

So last night they came in with bags and bags of clothes for baby, all in neutral colours as we are team yellow. Whilst I appreciate the gesture, I am only going to dress baby in neutrals for the first couple of weeks, until we can go shopping and buy some gender appropriate clothes.

Basically, I have no where to keep this stuff, nor do I think we will need it. Whilst I appreciate that people want to give us things, and I am by no means a snob when it comes to second hand, I want baby to have some new stuff and not be living in hand me downs! I know it sounds awful, but I was looking forward to needing to go shopping for lots of baby bits, and now I feel obliged to use the stuff we have been given rather than buy new things. It's our first baby, and I am excited about choosing all the little outfits for them!

So my dilema is, do I give some of the bits back, or would that be rude? Any advice ladies? Sorry for the long post! xx

 

[Spammy]

Morning!! I completely understand this!! Sometimes I think it becomes a way of people having a clear out. I have had to tell myself to not be afraid to say no thanks.

If i were you I would just say thanks so much but there's a lot of stuff there they you don't need and if they don't want it back do they mind if you give it to a charity shop? They shouldn't be offended by that as you have every right to want to go shopping when baby arrives!!!

Either that or just sift through it, take out a few really good bits and just give the rest to a charity shop. They need never know!! Ha ha.

 

[mrsblue]

I have had exactly the same problem. My sister-in-law has dumped a load of stuff on my mil to give to me, and she is cross with me for buying brand new things as "it's a waste". But I want new things - it's my first baby and we can afford it, so why can't I choose what I want?? It seems like my sil is using me as an excuse to get rid of things without the guilt factor, and that's just not fair. She's had 3 kids and all the stuff is well worn and used.

I have said that my mil should keep some of it (blankets and toys) for when we stay at their house, and I also know of a local charity that takes baby stuff out to orphanages, so I'm suggesting the rest goes there. I've been quite brutal but tbh it's better to be honest about it now than risk having an excess of hand-me-downs for the next 10 years!

x x

 

[mrsblue]

I also had 3 bin bags full of old maternity clothes, none of which I liked and they are now in a charity shop...I hope sil never finds out!!

 

[Hope81]

I would take them sort them and still buy things I want. baby grows bodysuits etc can be very handy if you have a sicky baby and you can never have enough of them.
If there is a space problem just putem in those bags that you vacuum the air out until you need them or give them to charity.

 

[Loula]

pick out the best x

 

[kanga86]

I think sometimes it is just them that want rid of all the stuff too! Ur SIL's are probably wanting to clear the space at their house, because they don't have the room. Plus there is probably some really nice stuff in the bags, and anything u don't want I would take to a charity shop xx

 

[Maria1977]

I would still go and buy new stuff. Use anything they have given you that you would've bought yourself, but don't feel obliged to do so! Enjoy your baby hun and buying things for them xxx

 

[Mrsstuart01]

My sil did the exact same to us as she wanted it out of her house!! I think she forgets we have a smaller house than her and while we really appreciated the extra bits for spares we did not expect to be given toys and clothes that were up to age 4!!!!! Xx

 

[Jayjay027]

I sort of know where ur coming from. My MIL is a hoarder and never throws anything out, and she has all sorts of junk from when my husband was a baby - including reusable nappies, which she was trying to pass on to me!!
She also said she had a baby monitor for me, which was almost the size of my tv!! (Slight exaggeration lol, but it was huge!) And she said when my LO starts school, she wants her to use the schoolbag that my MIL used for her first day at school!!!! Seriously?!?! My MIL is 60 and still has her first school bag, and wants my poor baby to use it!!

I have just started saying no to things I don't want, otherwise our nursery would look like a dumping ground.
There's polite ways to do it, just say 'its lovely, but there'd be no point in me taking it because I'd not use it' x



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[TaffyRose]

I agree I think she's having a clear out and dumping things on you. I've had the same thing. I've just been sorting through the bits and putting the rest in the loft ready to dump back on the people who gave me them when the baby is older I agree I wanted to buy new for my baby as well, not because I'm a snob but because this is our first and I was excited to go shopping xxx

 

[Kirsty.Y.84]

Thanks ladies. I do feel a bit like she is just having a bit of a clear out but all it's doing is shifting from her loft to my loft-completely pointless! I will have a look through and pick out some of the nicer stuff to have as spares because I do know that babies go through a hell of a lot of clothes.
The rest I might have to politely send back! x