Is it just me?

[Tiny Sue]

Or has sex become a bit of a chore for anyone who is TTC?

We don't do it just to do it any more!
I hope it's not just me who thinks this, but we seem more concerned with how deep we go, and where OH ejaculates than with pleasuring each other.

What's gone wrong? I feel all nervy and sick cos I'm worried about our relationship suffering?

Sue

 

[jenna]

i feel the same. I get fed up when DH asks for it and before we started TTC we did it 3 times a day every day we seem to be doing it less and less.

 

[babydust]

i know what you meen but you really need to try and relax and enjoy it as i read that the more relaxed you are and the more you enjoy the more cervical fluid you will produce and this is good for transporting the sperm.(sorry if thats tmi)

 

[Tink]

Hi, I know what you mean too, you try to be relaxed but all the while you are thinking about timing, holding legs up in the air afterwards and whether too much sperm leaked out!!! sorry(TMI)
xxxxxxxx

 

[Tiny Sue]

So it's not just me then? OH was away recently for 5 days and we made love when we came back. I so wanted it to be a lovely reunion but I was very tired and didn't feel like it and went along with it anyway. With the result that I'm all worried today.

Advice anyone?

Sue

 

[mum2be?]

I am too the same.

 

[Chrissy1]

Last month was our first month TTC and we were BDing every day to the point where I just didn't want to do it because it was more of a joy than a pleasure!!

This month we've decided to say that we're not trying we're just not preventing and we've gone back to enjoying BDing again!!

 

[jemz24]

i used to be like this, and i think thats maybe why my cycles started increasing coz of stress.
this month we went with the approch "not tryin but not preventing"
i had a lot more fun with it all this month, messing around in bed to keep your energy up and tryin different things. it was like we were lovestruck agen. i noticed that i didnt leak too.

are u takin pregnacare, coz this helps with tiredness etc whilst trying.
make sex more of a game its much more fun.

 

[Happybunny]

I can honestly say that is how I felt too whilst TTC. Sex just becomes a necessary function and looses it impulsiveness. I wasn't even concerned about being 'pleasured' (sounds grim, sorry), I just wanted OH to get on with it and be done.

Having said this, the month we concieved was when we went away for our wedding anniversary. It was very different being away in a romantic setting, we actually made love rather than bd. I am sure being relaxed about sex this once may have helped us concieve.

Incidently, now I am preggers, I am as horny as hell...but don't want to risk sex because I have had two m/c. Mad!

 

[Happybunny]

I hope my mum doesn't read this forum

 

[Tink]

I know it probably sounds really feeble but try not to worry, i'm positive your relationship will be fine, just make sure you talk to your OH about how you feel, thats what I try to do!! this making babies game is not easy is it? xxxxxxx

 

[Tink]

Hi Happybunny, you've just made me chuckle with the comment about your mum reading this!! Oh the shame!!

 

[Tiny Sue]

Happy Bunny, that's exactly how I feel! And I'm also a bit worried because libido disappeared completely while PG the first time.

Oh phew I thought there was something fundamentally wrong!

*relieved*

So what did you do about it?

Sue

 

[MicheLou]

I raise my hand in the air too. Yeah, we suffered because of TTC. We've been trying for number 2 since April and I got myself all chewed up, all stressed, all demending and uncaring that last month when I didn't fall pregnant we had a big cry and a heart to heart. It is a hard decision to make but we're not checking OPK's or temping. I have a fair idea when OV is but DH has not. I'm stepping back.. letting DH take the lead as and when and if we are pregnant then it's the right time.

My sister cannot comprehend how I canot be doing everything in my power to fall pregnant and maybe you reading this can't understand why i'm not maximising my chances. We just feel that we have a life together to lead, we enjoy sex that is sponteanous as apposed to both of us feeling used.. weird way to put it but that's how we felt.

So I guess I'm going to be around here for a while and that's fine because i know that when it does happen it will be such a surprise, so naturally right and at the right time - not forced. I think i'm trying to convince myself here!!

No, we both feel much better this month, even though my chances of falling preg are slim.

 

[lillou]

i know exactly how you feel!

last month we were on holiday and had sex when we pleased ( nearly every day but this month i used OPK and knowing when i was MEANT to have sex made it seem like a major chore!

i am not using OPK's again as i feel they put the pressure on and made everything a chore because you know if you dont have sex when you detect your LH surge you could miss our chance! so next month its back to when WE please and not when i detect my surge

 

[Tiny Sue]

Hmmm ok maybe I'll do that too. I was tired of the OPKs anyway, they are expensive and a chore. You're dead right.

*marches out of there like a woman with a mission*

Sue

 

[Happybunny]

I do honestly think it is best not to temp, chart, OPK etc. Just enjoy making love when you want to. Loads of people said that whilst I was TTC and I thought they were just saying it, but it is true!! Just relax, have fun. Me and OH went shopping together in Ann Summer's before our aniversary trip where we concieved...it brought lots of fun back into our sex life

 

[Happybunny]

I REALLY REALLY REALLY hope my mum doesn't read this!!

 

[Tink]

 

[lillou]

i know what you mean about the OPK's though, its like a stick telling you what to do.... im having none of that in the future