interesting article: Controlled.crying

[Laura_C]

All babies really are very different, my two have completely different personalities - Grace was a very calm baby, who just hardly ever cried. Whereas Sophia fights sleep very much during the day for naptime. The very nature of controlled crying is 'controlled'. You dont let the baby cry indefinitely on thier own the whole time until they fall asleep - you always return to check on them say after 10 minutes in a controlled way. I do personally feel that sometimes when babies are overtired they get worked up and need some space to calm and settle. I think babies can feed off your anxiety making them more stressed tbh. I know my babies cries and I know which are tiredness, Hunger etc It is often, if ever that I put her down when she is upset, maybe just daytime naps. Even then she may cry for 10 mins and then be sound asleep - she wakes up a much happier, calm and settled baby - I'm not sure how that can be a bad thing! I've noticed from about 6 months onwards she seems to be more likely to cry in this way.

Like the other posters have said it's not really a particularly thorough study compared with other methods, doesn't hold any weight for me personally. Yet another study to make Mummy's feel bad/guilty!

I am a strong believer in Mum knows best, mothers instinct is an amazing thing and I feel we do our very best for our babies. Like I said above, all babies are different and unique in their own way, what works for one won't for another

 

[Pickledonions]

I can't do the cc thing myself. If I need to go back into Joshua and give him more breast even for comfort I will do. He obviously needs me and if I didn't do it I would be afraid he'd be thinking I'm not there for him. I always want him to feel secure. The only thing I have no control over is the car. He hates it and at times cries so bad he urges it really upsets me but I can't never drive anywhere

Sent from my HTC One X using Tapatalk 2

 

[Maria1977]

I've never done controlled crying and never would.

Ditto WSS

I couldn't leave my baby to cry, if all it takes to make them content is closeness to their mum or dad then that's what they get. You can't emotionally spoil a baby, they have no ulterior motives, they just need love, reassurance and stability

 

[MrsR]

I've never done controlled crying and never would.

Ditto WSS

I couldn't leave my baby to cry, if all it takes to make them content is closeness to their mum or dad then that's what they get. You can't emotionally spoil a baby, they have no ulterior motives, they just need love, reassurance and stability

Well said!

We are so quick to attend to physical needs like feeding/changing but emotional needs tend to get brushed aside. I don't judge anyone for choosing to do controlled crying but I personally hate the 'I won't pander to/spoil my baby' train of thought. It makes me cringe.

 

[Hope81]

What I am planning to do is let the bean self settle for Iets say 10 min, if the crying Dosent stop pick and cuddle etc to sleep?
Does that sound ok?
Leaving a baby to hysterically cry with h is cruel and medically unacceptable. I have seen babies having a fit, a blue spell and apneas because of uncontrollable prolonged crying.
In my opinion teaching a baby to self settle is about teaching it how to relax.
I don't see how it can be beneficial to the baby to teach it how to drop tired dead to sleep after it worked up itself completely hysterical?

 

[Simoneh00]

I think self settling from an early age is the way to go.
I'll did probably be hated for this but I've had one sleepless night with Eva her whole life and maybe 5/6 max with Damon.
I honestly believe this is because I've always put them down awake and left them as long they were happy content but never let them cry xx

tapatalking!!!

 

[tinytoes]

What we always did and still do is tuck the girls in or swaddle when they were smaller . If they cried I would let them cry for a few minutes then wind them , reassure them that we are still there and put straight back down and repeat until they calmed enough to sleep . I would never let them get frightened or worked up but I refused to sit rocking and comforting all night as I felt I wasnt helping them learn to soothe themselves to sleep. Might not be everyone's cup of tea but it worked for us , the girls go to bed at the same time every night and settle without any hassle now.

 

[jules84]

What we always did and still do is tuck the girls in or swaddle when they were smaller . If they cried I would let them cry for a few minutes then wind them , reassure them that we are still there and put straight back down and repeat until they calmed enough to sleep . I would never let them get frightened or worked up but I refused to sit rocking and comforting all night as I felt I wasnt helping them learn to soothe themselves to sleep. Might not be everyone's cup of tea but it worked for us , the girls go to bed at the same time every night and settle without any hassle now.

From reading this thread and online, isnt this a really good explanation of controlled crying? Like I imagine controlled crying isnt letting a child get hysterical but actually once a child hits a certain age, knowing the difference in a pain cry and a whinging cry??

I'm not sure if I've read that right!

I think there is no harm in letting babies have a whinge for a short period of time if theyre not hysterical. Babies cant express their emotions so crying is their way of expressing lots of emotions not just abandonment, etc. This is how I look at it. I too will try the letting baby self - settle from newborn and fingers crossed that's enough. I don't think it's fair to give babies cuddles till they sleep and then at so many months expect them to self settle. That doesn't make sense to me.

This article is terrible btw! lol completely biased! but raising a debate like this is great for mums to be like me who had no clue! lol xxx

 

[Simoneh00]

Maybe in a way I was lucky as Eva was premature so she pretty much had to self settle xx

tapatalking!!!

 

[Samsgirl]

Very similar to tinytoes. It's not cos we don't wanna spoil her....it's just she does sleep better for naps when she self settles. Plus when she wakes she takes herself back off at nights cos she was awake when we put her in her bed. She doesn't fall asleep on me then wake up wondering where I am. X

 

[Hope81]

Can I try self soothing from the beginning?

 

[Samsgirl]

We started at home when she was about 6 weeks but they did it with her from the off in special care x

 

[Samsgirl]

I don't know why we didn't carry it on when got back from hospital but we just kind of panicked I think and forgot everything they had taught us. Then it just clicked with us again at about six weeks and now we have our evenings together back x

 

[Hope81]

So how you exactly do it? Feed the baby, let it play etc and then put in bed and wait to see if it will settle?
What happens if it Dosent settle? Reassure it near it or pick it cuddle it and put it down again once it stopped crying?
Those babies need manuals really ....

 

[Mrs. KM]

Can I try self soothing from the beginning?

Yes! I wish I had! If the baby is put tobed awake from the start it is much easier! I had planned to do that, but then when she arrived everything went out the door lol.

 

[Elliellie]

I think it depends on the baby, I tried putting Isaac down from day 1 & he was having none of it! I'd just expected he would sleep in the crib but he would go crazy, he just wanted to be held. In the end I figured I'd be the same if I was a baby in a new world, he had been all snug in my tummy for ages & it must be a struggle to go from that to a crib all by yourself. I spoke to the midwife about it & she advised me to keep him close if that's what he wants, so I did! I liked her advice as it felt right to keep him near, but felt like I needed someone to tell me it's ok as so many people are all about getting them to settle themselves & so on. We co slept for a while on her advice & I think it has helped Isaac to feel secure. Gradually I'm finding he needs me less and less & will sometimes go down sleepy in his crib & fall asleep now. Recently he seems to prefer being put down to sleep. I think he'll just sort himself out in the end!

 

[tinytoes]

What we always did and still do is tuck the girls in or swaddle when they were smaller . If they cried I would let them cry for a few minutes then wind them , reassure them that we are still there and put straight back down and repeat until they calmed enough to sleep . I would never let them get frightened or worked up but I refused to sit rocking and comforting all night as I felt I wasnt helping them learn to soothe themselves to sleep. Might not be everyone's cup of tea but it worked for us , the girls go to bed at the same time every night and settle without any hassle now.

From reading this thread and online, isnt this a really good explanation of controlled crying? Like I imagine controlled crying isnt letting a child get hysterical but actually once a child hits a certain age, knowing the difference in a pain cry and a whinging cry??

I'm not sure if I've read that right!

I think there is no harm in letting babies have a whinge for a short period of time if theyre not hysterical. Babies cant express their emotions so crying is their way of expressing lots of emotions not just abandonment, etc. This is how I look at it. I too will try the letting baby self - settle from newborn and fingers crossed that's enough. I don't think it's fair to give babies cuddles till they sleep and then at so many months expect them to self settle. That doesn't make sense to me.

This article is terrible btw! lol completely biased! but raising a debate like this is great for mums to be like me who had no clue! lol xxx

Im not actually sure ? I suppose it is ? I just know its worked really well for us and the girls are happy kids who sleep well x

 

[tinytoes]

So how you exactly do it? Feed the baby, let it play etc and then put in bed and wait to see if it will settle?
What happens if it Dosent settle? Reassure it near it or pick it cuddle it and put it down again once it stopped crying?
Those babies need manuals really ....

I used to feed and wind , have a play or a chat . Then down for a sleep when they were tired if they cried (and I was happy it wasnt wind or a nappy or something else and you will know by the cries) quick cuddle and back down in the crib.

 

[Hope81]

Thank you I hope i dont forget everything that you girls advice me once I have a screaming baby at home

 

[Samsgirl]

Yeah same as tinytoes. Food and wind. I can tell while feeding her if she very sleepy and if she is I will put her straight down right after winding. She always goes right down after night time feeds. For daytime naps if she doesn't seem ready to settle we will play with her, but as soon as she shows signs like a yawn or a winge then it's straight into her bed. Sometimes she just lies there til she drops off but if she very tired she will cry. So I then will go back in every couple of mins and reassure her. You will get to know your baby's tired cry. If she sounds more distressed I would of course pick her up and check for wind etc, just give her a cuddle. But 99 percent if the time it's a tired cry that fizzles out and she drops off, usually within five mins tbh.

At 5am this morning, I gave her a feed and put her straight back down awake. I went back to bed and there was not a peep from her, she just self settled and slept til we woke her at 8am. x