Inlaws lack of interest

[star fish]

Hi, just wanted a rant really! We had dinner with the inlaws yesterday and had to tell them because they kept trying to force drinks on me. So we told them. I'm not sure what we expected but maybe some excitment!

My husband is one of four and all his siblings have two or three children, so they already have 7 grandchildren, but still......... it's our first baby and we were kind of upset by their blase attitude.

They said "Oh Congratulations. You'll have to take good care of yourself for a while." Followed up with "Well there will be lots of handmidowns you can have." Then changed the subject.

Umm, no champagne corks popping? No tears? Is this normal? Is it just us, the parents, who feel really excited? Or are my in laws thoughtless and inconsiderate? (personally i'm going with that one!)

I was really looking forward to telling my own mum, saving it for Christmas eve, but what if she doesnt react much? I think i will be twice as hurt!

 

[nadine]

awww bless you

in my experiences i haven't had great receptions to my news either, part due to my first wasnt planned an the daddy didn't stick around an they only found out they had a grandchild by accident an he was 9 months old

 

[lea554]

Aww, im sure they are excited, but like you said, if they have grandchildren already, they will probably get more excited once baby is here. Your mum will be happy for you - or she should be, your her daughter, and she should be happy if you are happy.

Just remember how long you have been trying for, and that the only people that matter are you and your OH xxxx

 

[Piglet's Mama]

Starfish - your Mum will be SO excited, I guarantee it! It must be that they have grandchildren and maybe the sparkle for them has been and gone, don't let it upset you, we are all very excited for you
x

 

[amandapanda]

Personally my reaction from my mum was flatter than the one you've just had....it really upset me as like you I was expecting champagne corks and tears of joy! She's trying now but I'll never forget that first reaction which showed no excitment or genuine joy. I think it depends on what they are like as people - my mum is a very negative person in general! xx

 

[star fish]

Thanks girls. I'm really hoping that my parents will be much more excited especially as i am an only child and they have been nagging for grandchildren for years. But they don't either of them tend to show emotion much. So I really hope this will spark some. It's just got me worried and i wish we hadnt bothered to tell them. I dont feel like seeing them again for a while now, is that a bit pathetic?

 

[weggi]

we haven't told MIL yet but my mums reaction was a bit dissapointing to me, but then after my previous MC's i think she willl be more excited when we send her the first scan pic! not telling MIL till 12 weeks cause my SIL is just 12 weeks herself and we want to let her have some ime to be excited just for her.

 

[Piglet's Mama]

Starfish, it's understandable. They burst your bubble and now you don't feel like sharing it with them anymore. I would be the same. In fact, when I went to tell my Dad I got married (hubby & I eloped), he didn't even move from his chair, I was so angry and have never forgiven him.

Your Mum will be over the moon, my Mum cried all day! She will def give you the reaction and support you want/need x

 

[toni64539]

I'm sure your mum will give u the reaction u want, my mum cried and miraculously dug out a bottle of non alcoholic champagne from somewhere, think she's had it for years just incase lol. But my in laws were very much 'oh, ok then' too, and it does bum u out. But who cares?! It's u two and your baby that matters most. Chin up, and look forward to telling your mum x

 

[Cantstop]

I think she probably will give you the reaction you are hoping for - but even if she doesn't, she's bound to be more and more excited as the pregnancy goes on. My parents (mam) had nagged me a bit about grandkids, but her instant reaction wasn't exactly cartwheels - but as the weeks have went on it's clear she's spent loads of time thinking about it and planning things and being excited. Sometimes it just takes a while for the full impact to filter through.

Do your parents in law know that you've been trying for a while? Maybe it's just that they don't get that you've been trying for a while? My parents in law were happy but I wouldn't say I've seen any excitement from them, but then they also have other grandkids already whereas my parents don't.

 

[KellyHook]

well, MIL came round for dinner today and we was putting more xmas decs up, and OH wouldnt let me do them as he worries.. bless him... and she said.. 'oh i forgot you were pregnant' i wanted to poke her eyes out..lol

but my mum is my best friend (along with OH), and she is just brilliant so she always makes it feel soo special... good job i have her!! xxxx

 

[Olive]

Hi Starfish. Sure you're parents will be over the moon for you Sorry to hear about your outlaws reaction. You wait til christmas day, it will be the best ever. X

 

[Piglet10]

i HONESTLY think u shud tell ur mum soooner rather than later! cos 1 uv alredi told in laws an like why shud they know b4 ur mum and 2 shelll be soooo happy her and ur dad will put u back on ur high where u shud be xx

 

[Annie050408]

i HONESTLY think u shud tell ur mum soooner rather than later! cos 1 uv alredi told in laws an like why shud they know b4 ur mum and 2 shelll be soooo happy her and ur dad will put u back on ur high where u shud be xx

^^^agree with this.


My inlaws weren't as excited as my folks but as soon as bub arrived they were - I guess people have their own reasons for a more sedate reaction but once bub is here and it's real it'll be different. X

 

[teampc]

hun i really wouldnt let it bother you.
Im sure your mum will be over the moon, esp if she has been waiting for grandkids
we told my parents first and they were so excited there were tears and hugs and things and it was just what I had hoped for
and as it goes on I can tell they are getting more excited lol they have started mentioning things that they have seen when they have been shopping and have offered to help with the nursery

the inlaws on the other hand...well they said congratulations and said they were happy and gave us a hug ....but.....it was accompanied by comments like 'oh we didnt think you would ever bother' and 'well you will have to change your lifestyle/car/house' etc etc which just annoyed the hell out of me

but as my parents were so good I just focused on that, plus our friends have been brilliant, totally over the top excited lol

 

[Merfairy]

Hi, My mum wasn't overly excited as I had mc before this pregnancy, so she was and still is saying 'when the baby comes then I will be excited' which I felt was a let down, but I think she is right. My sister doesn't know yet, she already resents me.. so I am reluctant to tell her at the moment until I feel a little more secure with things. My partner is happy one minute then worried the next and I am trying to keep a level head when I just want to tell everyone and get excited. His family do not know yet and he is not talking to them, so really it matters not what anyone else thinks. It is your special bean and will remain so. Congratulations chick xxx