bloody inlaws!!!!

[matilda]

At the minute, me and OH and LO are staying with his mum and brother until we get somewhere to live. Its bad enough having to be in dundee (im here for uni) coz all my family are a 3hour drive away and i miss them like crazy and really want my mum at times with a new baby and what not i feel like the inlaws have kidnapped me.

anyway, mother in law is a midwife. i dont know if its the midwife or the granny coming out in her but we are going to be coming to blows very soon. she keeps saying 'if i were you...' and do whatver. she tries to make me go to bed! tells me what to eat, has a go at me for eating a bar of chocolate! and whenever she picks up connor shes always telling me what hes wanting (even if it isnt what hes wanting) and it feels like shes just trying to be the mother herself!

not only that, when i dont DO AS SHE SAYS, i hear her muttering away to OH when im in a different room trying to make me do it anyway. she also has her other son convinced that a womans job is in the kitchen, looking after her child and man. so not only do i have her nagging me constantly about my diet and cleaning up after her son, shes got his brother doing it aswell! telling me that i should quit uni and stay in the house until connor is at least 5 and spend all day cleaning and baking bloody cakes!


AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH

dont they think its enough that i have left my entire bloody family to make things easier for OH??? I really want to pack up and go home, but i dont know if hed come with me. I hate it here


and another thing, i was all for breastfeeding but im getting so tired now and would like a break now and again using formula, just for like one feed during the night once in a while or something. at the mention of formula she goes off her head. HES MY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im sorry, i really feel like i cant talk to scott about this, she has her boys well and truly brainwashed!

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

She sounds lovely!
i cant be much help because me and OHs mother dont talk at all as she is really quite nasty

i would speak to your OH though and let him know how you are feeling x

 

[evie_smith]

I would have come to blows with her by now lol!! Have you tried telling her how you feel? if she still
goes off on one then just leave Hun your other half should come with you if he don't it's his loss
enit and you can house seach where you and baby aren't stressed coz baby will pick it up off
of you and you can move into a new house when you havenpixked one out x x

 

[katietateypot]

All sounds very frustrating, im surprised you havn't come to blows already. you must be a very calm person!!

can't you speak to your OH and say you want to go home, say how uncomfortable they make you feel and about having your own space. He could well feel similar to you and agree to move??

Hope it all works out hun!!
I know how annoying in laws can be, my MIL is a monster at times!!!

katie xx

 

[matilda]

she just keeps getting worse ><

tried to talk to scott last night, he says hes desperate for our own place and i can go home if i want to, but he wont be coming with me he really wants me to stay here and please dont go cuz its not fair on connor blah blah blah! then he said maybe after uni if he can get a job where my mum and dad are he might think about it, so i suppose thats something.

MIL has even been trying to get me to lose weight and tone up, because its important to look good for ur man. i am a bitty flabby but im defo not overweight, i only had a baby 2months ago! i think she expects me to be a slave to her son for the rest of my life and spend it making him happy. thing is, he would hate it if i was like that so shows how much she actually knows him!

 

[NicciLove]

Oh no! I would end up having a full on punch up if i were in that position!!

Have you tried going to the local council about being put up somewhere? Round here if you have a baby they rush it through and would even put you up in temporary accomodation if where you are staying is unsuitable which it sounds like it is!

Sending you lots of xxxxx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Oh Hun, how have you stayed there for so long!! If you stay it's gonna put strain on your relationship! I'm sure your OH can see that!! Also your son's gonna start noticing how unhappy you are! I agree, go to the council their find you temp accomidation! As for the losing weight, I would've told her to piss off!! After I had lacey, OH's grandma asked if I was pregnant again! I was like what?! I didn't relise you have to lose the weight straight away!! It's old people stuck in their ways!! Hope everything gets sorted for you x x

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

No way! She needs to back down! If I were you I would have a quiet chat with her and explain how she is making you feel - she is well out of order!

 

[matilda]

you might all think im a bit paranoid by this but i am REALLY naffed off! i said that MIL was adament on her grandchild being breastfed and i feel like shes tricked me into keeping up the breastfeeding, if this makes sense..

i never went to any antenatal classes and having been reading much on anything, just been taking it all as it comes. so i done as the health visitor said and tried connor with a bottle after a few weeks with breastmilk and he took it great. then MIL gets ivolved, says hes took it fine so he should always be fine with it. i shouldnt have listened

hes 2 months now, the last 3 nights iv tried him with a bottle becasue iv got my exams coming up next month and hes gonna need fed while im sitting them and he is refusing it point blank. she is a midwife and she knew this would happen and it just feels like another of her schemes to get her own way!

when i seen the health visitor last week she seen how uptight MIL is making me and im not being watched for PND although i think it will be fine if i get out of there! im a very chilled out person so not really that great with conflict and dont know how to go about this but if my idea is right then she is a really scheming woman and gets her own way through very sly means.

am i just paranoid????????

 

[Piglet10]

if u dont sort it out mrs there will be irrepairable damage done... i would have a chat with her and tell her as nicely as you can how you feel and if it doesnt work id go home to your family ... if i were u obv. if ur bf dont go then its on his head but u cant be the mum u want to be when ur being henpecked :~( gluck with whatever u do xx

 

[matilda]

i dont know how to go about it in a nice way! i always make up in my head what to say then if i go to saying it will stutter and make a huge tit out of myself and forget everything i waas gonna say haha.

i seriously think shes evil. she knows iv got my exams and as a midwife she knows she gave me the wrong advice. i want to talk to OH and for him to actually listen but he hates conflict aswell and just stays on the sidelines.

i need another AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

[Piglet10]

dont forget seriously that this is his mum and no matter what he will not want to choose so id leave him out of it completely.... ask her who gave her all the advice when she had kids and just in a roundabout way say mothers defo do have their own instinct and unless you ask for advice you HATE anyone ... stipulate anyone... giving u unwanted advice as u want to do it your own way???? xx

 

[Sol]

I am going to have a similar problem with my sister. She's a nurse and it's started already and bay isn't even here yet. Thankfully my sister is in Derby though.

I really feel for you hun because i would have totally snapped by now. I just think it's being around too many people right now. Is there a holiday coming up where you can suggest to Scott you pop down and see your side of the family? Just getting away for a while may help hun xxxxxxxxxx Good Luck

 

[CupcakeMummy]

I really feel for you, sounds a very awkward situation.

Could you perhaps try talkig to her when your little man isn't about, so he isn't part of the equation at the time?

So maybe when he's sleeping and you're feelng a bit calmer, try to explain how she's making you feel. But try and keep it light and not start a row.

I know that when family members are giving me a hard time I come up with things to say next time they come out with something, and doing things like that in the heat of the moment have nevr helped me. I think waiting until you're both calm is always the best bet.

I hope it gets all sorted for you, as he is your little boy, and unless you ask for help I don't think a mother should ever be told what to do with her child.

 

[Rheych]

dont forget seriously that this is his mum and no matter what he will not want to choose so id leave him out of it completely.... ask her who gave her all the advice when she had kids and just in a roundabout way say mothers defo do have their own instinct and unless you ask for advice you HATE anyone ... stipulate anyone... giving u unwanted advice as u want to do it your own way???? xx

great advice, I would do this too

or even tell your mother-in-law about a 'know-it-all' friend who you feel is really pushing their opinion on you and making you feel uncomfortable, just say you want to enjoy learning and making your own mistakes with the baby like everyone else gets to do.

if she doesn't take the hint then ask OH to speak to her, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask him to do that, he does't even have to say you have said anything just say 'Mum leave Lisa be, she knows what she's doing', she will defo back off then

 

[matilda]

OMG!!! probably fed up by this by now. Brother in law was saying to me today that i should be giving my baby wheatgrass. i said no. we had a massive argument!!!!!! AAAARRRGH i need out of this f***ing house!