Inlaws are stressing me out!

[LouiseB]

When we found out we needed IVF, we decided to keep it a secret from our families just because we felt more comfortable that way.

My family are pretty ignorant but opinionated so they wouldn't be very accepting and then i don't want the kids to feel different...

It was still hard for me because i'm very close to my parents and siblings.

Then hubby wanted to talk to his dad about it, you know talk to another man, and so we decided to tell our parents but draw the line there.

In short, his sister is a bit of a dick head. If she has something on someone, she likes making them squirm.

She also posts everything on Facebook. We first found out my MIL was having major surgery suddenly via her public FB page

Anyway, i think my MIL has told my SIL about us needing IVF and it's driving me insane. I don't know for sure, but it's sending me into a rage just incase.

It's just that all of a sudden SIL keep on asking about when we are having kids and she hasn't bothered before. Now we are due to start treatment and she asks everytime we see her.

I'm starting to think that she is enjoying making us lie to her when she knows the truth!

Plus i hate the thought of her knowing when i'm keeping my siblings in the dark...

I wonder whether to just tell everyone, but i know how defensive i can get re hubby and our children and i might end up flipping out

I guess this is just a rant because i don't know how i can fix it anyway, unless anyone has any suggestions?

 

[Laverne]

IVF is a subject that’s unique to every individual, if it’s something that you feel that you want to keep ‘in house’ for the time being then that’s where it should stay.

IF (and it’s still ‘IF’ until you have proof one way or another) you have an incling that your sister-in-law has been wrongly made aware of your upcoming treatment it might be worth getting a message to her via the source from where she obtained this information – namely your OH’s Mum ‘n Dad.

Personally I’d ask your hubby to speak to his parents to ask (not accuse) whether or not they’ve let this information slip out unintentionally as your sister-in-law has been asking some rather awkward questions recently. If they confirm that your sister-in-law is aware of your plans then your hubby could then ask his parents to clandestinely tell her that it’s an extremely sensitive subject and she shouldn’t raise the topic nor allude to it using ‘Babies’ as an all encompassing theme. You could also mention that her 'questions' only serve to exacerbate both of your feelings with regard to the issue which isn’t ideal in view of the fact that you need to be totally comfortable with the IVF procedure and relaxed prior to any treatment.

Good Luck.