money issues,mil's hurtful comments,.............

[starlight]

my parents have been to visit this morning a lovely surprise bought our girls a bag ful of sweets,they tip out all their toys from toybox because they wanted to play with their grandparents and to show them.
then they said goodbyes but room is now a mess with a few droped sweets everywhere.

at this point mil arrives to take older dd out for the day looks at the mess and says nothing im busy getting dd ready dh hubby seems very heated and tense but only mil says that she would like to take dd to karate lessons we could come along to watch her now and again whos daughter does she belong too} then says have a think about and left.

i know why my dh was tense when i got dd ready mil says under her breath to tidy up the house to her son now dh feels he can't be a proper father cause don't have the money to take the girls out or hobbys after school cause mil is doing all that we were in the middle of tidying up after my parents had left.

now my dh hates is own mother ,feels presured cause hes dosen't have enough money and wants to go back and live in ireland with me and girls
just to get away from the stress

we don't have enough savings to do that as in the meantime if mil keeps doing this {having problems in the past with mil and her new partner}its going to drive her son futher away back to ireland and she wont see her grandchildren as often as she likes.

can't say anything in front of the kids to her but its seems the situation will not go away over the years unless we move away.

sorry to bore you all given dh lots of and kisses but still feels useless i don't know what to say or help him to make him feel better.

 

[Krystal]

aww your poor hubby and poor you

Could you arrange to speak to your MIL without the children being around? Explain to her how her comments make you and your OH feel. Tell her you feel the way she is behaving is driving a wedge between you and if it continues your not sure where it's going to leave you and you would rather sort this out nw before it gets really bad?

 

[starlight]

hiya sweetcheeks24,we've already talked to her in the past not shouting or anything but letting her know she can take the girls for days out and spoiling them and stay for tea but she dose'nt seem to relise we are the parents and we need to do things as a family as well.

when we all talked last time she ended up in tears saying all her friends get to do everything with their grandchildren and she dosen't, we always include her in the girls bithdays,nativity plays at school,and any other events but our other relatives only see the girls once or twice a month,she and new partner would like them 24 hours a day 7 days a week feels like that anyway but in life its not possible.

dh is going to sit down with them and talk things through not sure weather they listen th hubby either.

 

[Krystal]

aww i'm sorry. At the end of the day they are your children though and she is going to have to change. She can't have your kids 24/7. Hope you sort it hun

 

[Babylicious]

At the end of the day kids make a mess and so what if the house isn't tidy. I can totally sympathise with you there as my ex mil was like that.

She needs to learn to respect you and your oh

 

[samandbump]

gosh sounds like we have the same MIL
always interfearing and Piss**g me off she is annoying the hell out of my OH to the point that we want to move away...which will be happening as soon as we can afford it...hope you sort things out...i think were past the sorting stage to be honest good luck hun xxx