In pain, miserable, fed up..... *long rant*

[ShadowWolf]

As some of you know, I went to a&e on Saturday night with awful back pains that felt like my spine was on fire. The doctors there diagnosed me with SPD and gave me some funky pain killers. I thought, yes, grand, now I can take these and get on with my life all hunky dorey. Went to my GP to let her know and to ask if there was anything else I could do and she referred me to the pysio and wrote me a sick not for work amending my duties so I didn't have to do any lifting and so I got regular breaks every 2 hours. Lovely, that will sort me out, I though.

Went to work yesterday for the first time since all this happened, got on the bus to find that the journey (20 mintues) was going to have me almost in tears with the pain. This had never happened before, it had just been uncomfortable, this was unbearable. Got to work and took a pain killer (had been trying to avoid taking them unless i needed them as I am a great beleiver that pain is there to stop you doing things that you shouldn't) hoping that it would work wihin half an hour or so. 1 1/2 hours later, nothing. So I did something I wasnt supposed to and took another one. Meanwhile, I am a sobbing pile of poop on the floor, trying desperately to serve customers and do what little of my job I can. I vowed to go and see my GP again and plead for some help, as long as it wasn't being signed off work which I cant afford. Painkillers kicked in 2 hours later and I was pain free for about 2 hours in which time I did a lot of bending and lifting to help close my store down, mostly without thinking about it.

I go to my GP this morning to beg help, even if it is just for him to bring my physio appontment forward a little so I dont have to wait almost 2 weeks for it. After lots of discussion and me moaning a lot, he signs me off work for 2 weeks untill I can see what the physio says about my situation as it's not really his area. Also tops up my pain meds.

I get in the car in tears as I cant afford 2 weeks off work and I don't want 2 weeks off work! I may not like my job that much but it gets me out the house and I have people to talk to. I am currently sat in my longe at home, looking at the probability of being on my own whilst OH is at work for 2 weeks with no one to talk to and nothing to do as everything hurts to much! I feel like such a fake as I can't seem to convince myself that any pain is worth me sitting on my arse for 2 weeks and no one else who has this seems to be moaning as much as I do. I am desperate to go to work today but part of mr knows that within half an hour I will be sobbing and useless and then sent home.

I can't stop crying as I feel so bloody useless and bored and worse still is all the people who I meet who tell me how awful SPD is and how bad it got for them/their friend/their neighbour/their dog or whatever. I know they are trying to help but I wish that just one person would lie to me and tell me that it goes away with a week or 2 and that it isnt that bad at all because then at least I could pretend that there is some hope for me that the next 5 months wont be a living hell!!

I'm so so so sorry for all of this ramble as I know that there is nothing that anyone can say or do to make it better, I just needed to write it all down and beleive that somewhere, someone will read it and maybe just send me a little bit of love down the universes phone line.

xxxxx

 

[Simoneh00]

If the doctor has signed you off then you obviously need it huni. Don't feel bad!
I know sitting in the house will bore you stiff but better than doing too much and ending up maybe stuck in bed for a lot longer than 4 weeks!
Hope the physio can help you out, sorry I'm not much help just didn't wanna read and run xx

 

[isobel84]

oh hun.. i dont know what to suggest.. i know what you mean about wanting to get out of the house, i get bored having days of even though when im at work i dont really want anything else then my bed...

hope you feel better soon hun xxx

 

[serenitylove]

im single and dont work so im used to being by myself alot get some good books in and have internet handy you will get used to it hun but im so sorry your feeling so low being in pain long term sucks and can really bring you down but does sound like work not the best place for you right now xxxx

 

[flexilexi394]

sorry to hear your in agony! maybe trying to make the most of relax time is good for you, just try and chill! watch some films and stuff, maybe it will help your back recover too. x

 

[kiki]

I'm so sorry you are having such a rubbish time!

 

[ShadowWolf]

Thanks ladies. I'm trying to motivate myself to do some housework as it really isn't fair to expect my OH to do it all and the place really is a mess. I think he wouldn't mind so much if the place didn't look like a bomb had hit it I have my 2 pain killers at the ready and will pop them at the first niggle of pain so they can begin working and then I will have a sit down until the pain has gone away and then start again. I know I shouldn't but if I use common sense and dont do anything like putting up a set of shelves or building a wardrobe then I think i should be ok.

Thankyou so much for all your kind thoughts, I will be relying on them for the next 11 days All I have to hope is that the physio can make me fit for work again, if he can't then I will be right back here again. The only thing i'm really worried about is it pushing me over into depression, it's taken me years to get out of it and I dont want to go back there.

xxxxx

 

[mdsremos]

I really do sympathise with you!!! I had spd from 26 weeks with DS in 2005 and I found some days easier than others. I would actually get a couple of really good days but would end up doing too much and making things worse again. I 'tried' to keep active as possible, kept my knees together was much as possible when getting up, turning in bed and spent evenings sat on a gym ball to take the stress of my hips and pubic area. What painkillers are you taking?
I had cocodamol 8/500 which took the edge off the pain and my spd is starting to flare a little already so got a physio appointment next week and gp on 23rd for pain management.
It's hard going but it does have ups and downs and goes weeks after delivery do don't despair too much!!!! x

 

[ShadowWolf]

Heya Mdsremos, i'm on dihydrocodine - 30mg, well 60mg really as I have to take 2 at a time. I'm allowed up to 4 a day, the nurse at the a&e told me to only take 1 at a time but that wasn't strong enough so my GP told me that I am allowed 2 at a time but I obviously have to watch when I take them as they only last 3-4 hours each dose.

I have had a much better day today, I managed to tidy the lounge before they ran out which is good. I don't think they would be powerful enough to get me through a day at work but to get me through a regular day at home, they are perfect. I am suffering at the moment as my last lot are just wearing off now so I wont be long before I go to bed, just so I can sleep through the pain

Apparently you can buy some sort of support belt to go around your waist, I'm thinking that I may get one before I go to see the physio as that's still 10 days away. If anyone knows of a good one, please let me know

I'm sorry you're starting to suffer already Mdsremos, oddly enough, it makes me feel better to have someone to sympathise with. I'm glad to hear that you go through it once and you're still having another babby as I really do want another one after this one. We will have to stick together as we are of a similar date to each other. Feel free to PM me and we can keep in touch.

Love and hugs....
xxxxx

 

[Mamafy]

The belts are amazing hun and will give relief for walking around, in fact with my son I couldn't have got around without it

try ebay xx

 

[ShadowWolf]

Awesome, thanks for the tip Mamafy.

xx