in laws

[1sttimemum]

Yup another one.

Does anyone find it really hard to tell your in laws anything,

For instance last night, we were at in laws, and MIL was telling me that my child was hungry when i knew she wasnt. I no it sounds slightly petty but its really starting to affect me, Im already anxious that im rubbish and havent got a clue what im doing.

FIL was trying to tell me to give Caitlyn some tea or coffee on her dummy i dont no if he was joking (they do it for their 9 month old grandson and have for a while) but i kinda lost it and raised my voice no she isnt having tea or coffee.

I no for sure if it was my parents id tell em where to go but find i cant with the in laws as i dont want to rock the boat.

OH even questioned why i didnt want her to have tea or coffee on a dummy apparently it never did him any harm.

 

[monster_munch]

Thankfully myMIL is lovely - my step-MIL is a bit so I keep a tight hold of Green Bean when she's around

I'm not sure how I would react in the situation you explained, I would probably be very polite and then go ballistic at DH when we got home.

 

[muppetmummy]

I find it hard when MIL is around as she is has compleley different ideas about parenting to me. i know she thinks that picking up a crying child who's not hungry is spoiling them so i feel a bit uneasy when I pick up logan in her presence because I know she is thinking that im stupid. she's quite a scary lady anyway and i never felt at ease in her company to start with, she is just like hyacinth bucket from keeping up appearances!

I just keep reminding myself that I know for a fact her ideas are wrong and to have confidence in my instincts. luckily she's kept her distance since logan was born.
i would go mental if she tried to put tea or coffee on a dummy. i dont even let my 5 year old have tea or coffee!

 

[muppetmummy]

I find it hard when MIL is around as she is has compleley different ideas about parenting to me. i know she thinks that picking up a crying child who's not hungry is spoiling them so i feel a bit uneasy when I pick up logan in her presence because I know she is thinking that im stupid. she's quite a scary lady anyway and i never felt at ease in her company to start with, she is just like hyacinth bucket from keeping up appearances!

I just keep reminding myself that I know for a fact her ideas are wrong and to have confidence in my instincts. luckily she's kept her distance since logan was born.
i would go mental if she tried to put tea or coffee on a dummy. i dont even let my 5 year old have tea or coffee!

 

[LilysMummy]

My MIL is an absolute BUFFOON! She keeps telling me to stick a runk in Lilys bottle and then make the teat bigger with a pin

Its so hard becuase they have brought children up so they think their ways are the best around I wont go into all my MIL does its scary reading I just think you need to say poiltley or just ignore and hopefully they will get the picture

 

[NIE]

It is difficult babes. I had similar probs and did eventually blow up and things are still very strained.

My only advice would be to say if you are not happy with anything. After all you are mum and what you say goes and your OH should back you.

Try not to let things boil up, it will only makes things worse like what happened to me.

I also wanted to say that I agree with you. x

 

[1sttimemum]

Thank you for all your replies, i have since spoken to my OH who has sai dthat he was actually joking about agreeing with his mum and dad. I told him that she is my baby and i dont want her to have tea or coffee and that is my choice.

 

[Tiggy26]

I have difficult in-laws and they seem to always think there is "something wrong" with Antonio. For instance...... Antonio had just woken up from a 2 hour sleep during the day and he stretched his body and shock his head from side to side a couple of times (just like anyone would stretch when wakeing up after a sleep) and the MIL commented "whats wrong with him, somethings wrong with him!!, thats not normal"

I looked at her and gave her the evil eye and said "its perfectly normal actually, hes just woken up!!! there isnt anything bloody wrong with him, your trying to FIND something wrong with him" after that one comment should could tell that I WILL NOT be challenged and if she wants to try then good luck to her. This does seem like a petty example however what im trying to say is stand your ground, it is your child and you know best (unless you ask for opinions)

 

[mary70]

i dont know how log you have been togeather hun but can assure you that after a while you learn to say what u think and the inlaws get used to it lol, my mother in law used to interfear all the time but after a few arguments about it being my way or no way she now keeps her opinions to herself unless asked

 

[clarey]

It is difficult....luckily for me my MIL almost falls over herself trying not to be interferring but I would expect OH to say something to her if she was, its better coming from him somehow, he only has to say that ideas have changed since she brought him up, and just as she wanted to do things her own way with him, you both want to do things your way with your LO, but that she will be your first port of call if you need some advice (you dont actually have to mean this bit but it sounds good for MIL! )
Hope she backs off a bit for you, I would go mad if anyone gave my baby ANYTHING other than my booby milk never mind tea or coffee - why would they even like it anyway???!

 

[Lola's Mummy]

OMG I can't believe they suggested that she have tea or coffee!

I mean have you seen the size of her. I'd tell them straight and the sooner the better

I always used to keep quite around my in laws but i've had enough of them now. I had a big argument with the MIL the other week and she was nearly crying
I felt really guilty about it but she needed to be put in her place. She upset me quite a lot in the early weeks with Lola so it had all being building up.

On the plus side she hasn't interfered since

 

[Babylicious]

I know how you feel my inlaws are the same

 

[1sttimemum]

Thanks for all your responses guys

 

[Full of hope!]

My inlaws are great and I do get on with them BUT there are times when they say or do things that I don't agree with at all It really annoys me and I used to say nothing and then go mad at hubby when we got home but now I tell them straight! If it upsets them then tough. Jacob is MY baby not theirs and they have to learn that We will bring him up how we want not how they think he should be brought up

I could talk for hours about the inlaws and tell you some right tales but i'm not going to

One thing that I always wonder though.... how come our own parents don't p**s us off like the inlaws??

 

[OopsyDaisy]

One thing that I always wonder though.... how come our own parents don't p**s us off like the inlaws??

That's so true!

 

[1sttimemum]

My theory on that one is because we feel able to tell our parents how we feel. what were thinking re the baby without fear of upsetting anyone??

 

[Becky]

My theory on that one is because we feel able to tell our parents how we feel. what were thinking re the baby without fear of upsetting anyone??

That is definitely it for me. I know I can be completely honest with my parents and tell them if I think they're being stupid or in my face and they might not like it but it won't change things between us where as my in-laws can't take honesty at all and I worry I'll offend them - shame they don't worry about offending me!

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

Best not to let it go sometimes, if you can bite your tounge then do, but if they keep saying things you don't agree with, then say so.

I hate my MIL and my parents wouldn't tell me what to do, because they were pants with me! My two 1/2 year old has tea as a treat (only just) Hubby gave him coffee and I told him off, said "you can look after him when he is bouncying off the walls".

My MIL say if he says a red ball is blue that is a sign of intellegence and he sould be praised! I said I thought it is a form of sillyness and encourges him to lie to get a good responce. And that I encourage his imagination in a positive way with roll playing not with lies.

Woooooo she was not impressed. Luckly hubby agreed with me, and her other son is a big lier even now in his 30's

 

[Redshoes]

When OH's Mum does anything that annoys me I tell OH off when we get home She's not my Mother so I'm not going to be the one to tell her, I tell him he has to tell her

 

[OopsyDaisy]

MIL has pee'd me right off today.
My MIL came out for a walk with me and LO one day last week, so being nice, I let her push the buggy.
She has since decided that my buggy is crap and went and bought a new (much cheaper) stroller from Argos, bought it round today and told me to pack the original one away cos hers is easier to use!!! The cheek of it! I think I shreiked "No" a little too loudly, and told her me and DH will continue to use our own one cos WE LIKE IT.

Sorry for the rant, just had to get it of my chest!