I'm struggling. :(

[Nonabean]

This last week has been very difficult.

Don't get me wrong, it's not baby blues, I adore being a mum. And I love my little boy to pieces.

It's my OH.

Alexander's still poorly. Although his eye has completely cleared up, the sick kids in the hospital passed on a cold, and he's had awful sickness and diarrhea since then.
It's made the poor wee soul really unsettled, sometimes it takes us 7 hours to get him settled.
I've also had antibiotics, because I had an infection so I've felt like shit this week.
Between my Mum and me we've been looking after Alexander, but my Mum suffered an angina attack on Thursday night and so she's been ill too.

My OH is doing virtually nothing, in terms of looking after the baby, or helping round the house. I'm lucky if he does one feed every two days, and if he's got a dirty bum I've got virtually no chance of a hand. But when I want him put down in his pram/cot (I really don't want him cuddled to sleep all the time) he wants to play with him/cuddle him. I've asked him not to do this, but he insists on still doing it.
Sometimes he undresses him too, for no reason, sometimes just because he doesn't like what I've put him in. But he'll leave him naked, with no heating on. And I've tried to tell him, he shouldn't be naked like that, but he just has a go, and says I don't care about the way he wants him looked after....

So, to my dilemma....

OH's family are in Stoke-on-Trent. We're near Edinburgh. I said before I had the baby that we'd go and visit before baby got too old. And, I do "want" to go.... sort of. His Mum isn't a very nice person, and when she came to visit Alexander was only 3 days old. She wasn't supporting his head properly, his niece almost dropped him because she got fed up of holding him (she was sat on the sofa, but that's beside the point) and his Mum won't listen to how I want it done - she woke him up after his feed and kept him awake for three hours, then f***ed of to her hotel and left me with a cranky baby. I feel like we need to go, because his Aunts and Uncles who live there have all sent presents, but haven't met the baby, and I have friends there too, who are desperate to meet the baby.

But with lack of support from OH, and MIL driving me up the wall, I'm freaking out about going. I need OH to see his GP soon. And I want to speak to his GP too. Any advice for coping? We need to go Friday - Monday, because of travel etc.

I'm really, really sorry for the rant/moan. But I'm mega stressed, and I'm going to make myself ill.

 

[Olive]

Have you tried talking to your OH about how you're feeling? Does he work btw? Just wondering if he has an "excuse" for not helping you out more.

xxx

 

[Nonabean]

He works 2 or 3 nights a week, but he doesn't do any housework either. He says he's tired all the time, but I don't know how. He sleeps through Alexander crying. He just has a go at me when I try and talk to him. xx

 

[Olive]

Ah chick. That's unfair. Idk what to suggest other than letting him know how you feel. Maybe do less for him as well if you can? xxx

 

[poppypd]

I think they should come to you not you go to them! I would be immensely peeved at OH if he didn't help out, but must be very frustrating if he's not using common sense( regarding leaving baby naked)!!

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

You need to chill out sweetie, and honestly I would not recommend that trip to his parents, I think it's too much for you. Travelling with a young baby and staying in a new environment is a big thing. You're only just learning how to be a mummy and I really think you need more time to settle, you certainly don't need the stress. As for your OH, he needs to stop with the undressing, baby's need to be kept warm. I'm sure Alexander will get better soon, they do cry an awful lot when they're that young, Grace certainly did. They become much happier babies as they get older, and they cry a lot less too! Just give him nice snuggles and care for him and enjoy bonding with him, of course he doesn't need to be cuddled whilst he's sleeping all the time either, I held Grace a lot when she was a baby, so I started to put her down in her bouncer for naps, I do that all the time now, she very rarely sleeps on my lap.

The fact that Alexander is unwell is another reason for you not to travel, he needs to be nice and snug at home, having lots of cuddles and kisses off his parents. As for him being unsettled, rocking or swaying is a great way to sooth them, Grace has been unsettled for weeks since her needles, but when I hold her in my arms and rock her she seems to calm down and I can eventually put her to bed.

There's plenty of time for you to go visit family and friends, plus I'm sure they'd rather see Alexander when he's smiling and feeling better, rather than when he's so fragile and unsettled.

I hope he gets better soon and you feel better also, It gets easier I promise. xxx