Ok, so out of no-where this past weekend i'm suddenly questioning whether I actually want another baby and it's freaked me out and i don't know what to do. After wanting this for 5 years and actively trying for the last 2.5 with endless tests, a lap and dye, 4 IUIs and the devastation of a miscarriage I was set to divorce/kill my hubby when he pulled the plug on our first IVF cycle 2 days before it started in January this year. I was so devastated that he eventually relented and we continued trying naturally for a few months with the understanding that if this last cycle was a bfn i would call the clinic to re-initiate the IVF process. So i called them Friday and i have a refresher nurse appointment this Friday to get the ball rolling again.
But for some reason I'm really questioning whether I actually want to do this now. Ultimately my hubby is doing this for me and i don't know whether it's that that is making me reconsider pursuing this to the end, or whether after all this time and now that Nancy is 5 and life is moving on whether i'm just getting to a point where I'm coming to terms with just having one child and the reality of the IVF actually working and giving me a baby is suddenly making me question things...has anyone else had serious wobbles like this? My hubby will be 46 by the time another baby is born if we get lucky with the IVF and i know this bothers him, he'll be 50 seeing our 2nd child off to school. Urgh, this whole journey has been so difficult, maybe I'm just done with it.
Sorry for the negative brain dump...just wondered if this sounds all perfectly normal and next week i'll be back raring to go...
But for some reason I'm really questioning whether I actually want to do this now. Ultimately my hubby is doing this for me and i don't know whether it's that that is making me reconsider pursuing this to the end, or whether after all this time and now that Nancy is 5 and life is moving on whether i'm just getting to a point where I'm coming to terms with just having one child and the reality of the IVF actually working and giving me a baby is suddenly making me question things...has anyone else had serious wobbles like this? My hubby will be 46 by the time another baby is born if we get lucky with the IVF and i know this bothers him, he'll be 50 seeing our 2nd child off to school. Urgh, this whole journey has been so difficult, maybe I'm just done with it.
Sorry for the negative brain dump...just wondered if this sounds all perfectly normal and next week i'll be back raring to go...
