I'm gonna scream!

[ema-lou24]

I'm pregnant, not ill FFS!

Is anyone else sick fed up of being told what you can and can't do? Can and can't eat?

I'm actually getting to the point that I'm telling people to piss off, I'm preggo not dying!

The other day my friend text me to tell me that she was at mcdonalds, so I replied with "oft I could fair go a mcflurry" thinking I would get a reply with something along the lines of "u fat bitch" lol (it's a loving friendship honest).
But no, I got " ur not allowed a mcflurry due to the bacteria in the cream" WTF?!

Really? I know what foods to avoid, to limit etc, it's not as if I got pregnant from a one night stand and don't give a shit, I was trying for 16months to get this baby, I don't drink, smoke or take drugs, I'm gonna do all that i can to protect her!
I had my sister telling me not to use SMA milk, had my friend tell me the same, had someone else tell me it causes constipation........I never even mentioned that I was gonna use SMA, all I said was I didn't know what formula I was gonna put her on yet, will decide that while in the hospital when she's born, see what she agrees too.
I'm getting told to buy certain things, things that I don't actually want or need!
Also being told I can't dye my hair, I hate people saying that......that one really gets on my wick!
There has been no proven fact that dying your hair causes damage to the baby. The only thing it can do is it may change the outcome of the end colour, I have spoken to both my midwife and hairdresser and they have confirmed it's ok, so why do people feel the need to tell me "its not good to dye your hair when preg, u can kill the baby"

ARGH!

Rant over.

Theres probably more, but that's all thats pissed me off tonight lol x

 

[Piglet10]

i totally get you altho i dont particularly like sma either lmfao :chair: xxx

 

[ema-lou24]

Oh don't u start! Lol x

 

[Danti]

I understand your frustration! I've actively tried to avoid the people who I know will be like that and so far so good! It seems to be my OH who's getting the brunt of it at the mo lol! But he doesn't mind because it doesn't effect him, he can still eat whatever he wants (jealous!)

What has got me though is my mum telling me what not to buy! I know it's only because she knows people that have a lot of brill seconds they would like to give me and it'll save me £!s splashing out on brand new stuff! But I feel as if it's taking away my first experience of buying for baby because at the rate it's going, I won't need to buy anything! I feel like I'm being ungrateful and know this is how people will see it if I refuse but on the other hand I feel it unfair that I'm being made to take other peoples seconds rather than have the excitement of actually buying for my LO!

I'm just being a moaning Murtle aren't I..?

 

[Piglet10]

oh i hate people saying their opinions on names and saying "all children need is love" eh hello does love get them their toys at crimbo no it does bloody not xx

 

[ema-lou24]

I know how u feel there danti......I have ALOT of stuff still from when I had my son (8 years ago) but I would like to have some new stuff seeing as we are having a girl this time.

When my son was born I had a 2nd had pram, It was basically brand new but I still didn't get to pick the one I would have loved. I didn't drive back then either so walked everywhere, so this time round I would like one of those travel systems with the car seat so when I'm out car I'm not having to wake baby up to put her in pram/buggy, can just pop her straight into the travel system and away I go. But my mum is disgusted at the thought of me not wanting a pram! I don't see the point if I'm honest. It won't ever be used cos I'm a lazy twat and use the car and if I do go a walk I will have the buggy/ car seat. My mum is mortified by this. When my son was small, he used to sleep in his pram during the day in the house, my mum wants me to have a pram so that I can have somewhere for her to sleep during the day, waste of space and money in my eyes when I already have something in mind for nap time during the day.
But I'm not getting a say she basically told me that I will have a pram and she will get me one second hand.......no matter how many times I tell her I DON'T WANT one!
Maybe I'm being wring in some peoples eyes, but I just want them to back off. This is MY baby, MY rules, why can't no1 see that? Xx

 

[Piglet10]

i see it , tell her u r not having a second hand pram, imagine if this is the only girl u have u shud have what u can afford and want for ur little girl, just say no xxx

 

[ema-lou24]

I have totally distanced myself from my family due to them telling me what to get or not to get, my aunt was giving away a pram for nothing and I politely said no thanks, my sis then argues with me saying I'm mad for letting it go, my reply was I don't want a pram. I have in my head what i want cos I've seen my friend do it and I like it, and shes not spoken to me since I basically told her to back off.
I done the decent thing and text my family Inc sis as soon as we found out we were having a girl and all I got was "ok". Thanks.
My sis is jealous as fool! Lol. Long story, but she seems tonthink she should give my family the 1st granddaughter. Pathetic.

My in-laws want to buy us the travel system we say in babies r us, omg I nearly cried when she told me. But then she foned me saying her friend has a travel system for sale and it cost her £700 new! And it's hardly been used.......would I like that instead. Vie asked her to send me pictures of it etc, but I'm worried that if I don't like it, will she think I'm a snob for saying no thank u, buy me the new one out babies r us?


Argh! Who knew having a baby would be so difficult to keep families happy?? X

 

[Piglet10]

honestly if u dont like it just say look im really sorry but its not what i had in mind, i dont mind if u dont want to pay for the one weve chosen (hopf they say ok well buy u new lol)

as for ur family sod em, u have us!!! xx

 

[ema-lou24]

Lol thanks Hun.

I'm actually dreading seeing my mum tomorrow cos I know she's gonna bring it all up, I haven't seen her since I was about 12 weeks preg!

She's always on at me about moving cos my house is too small etc, and getting other family members to grind me about moving ( she wants me closer so she can gain more access to baby) and 1. I don't want to move and 2. We can't afford it just yet. We are in a lovely 2 bed council house and we have looked into going private, but theres noway we can afford it ESP with the deposit, baby coming in november and Xmas with an 8th old, he's not exactly gonna understand that he didn't get any presents cos we had to move home etc.
She will b fine in our room for a few months until the council rehome us (they have to with different fathers to the kids and different sex, can't have an 8yr old living in same room as a girl who has a diff dad to him)

I sound like a total snob!

I think that's another thing that's getting me down, I can't actually decorate a room for our little girl

 

[Bunnykins]

Hon know how u feel I am still getting grief from my mum cos I wanted to buy a new Moses basket that matched my nursery when her friend had a manky 3rd hand one she wanted rid of and wanted to palm off on me, because I put my foot down and said no my mum is telling anyone who'll listen that I am being really awkward and being a snob as EVERYTHING has to be from mamas and papas. Erm no just the Moses basket!!! She doesn't get I wanted to buy a few key things for my first child and its proper put her nose out of joint! Tough its my baby not hers!!

 

[Danti]

Aww I'm glad I'm not the only but sorry you're having so much stress with it! Fingers crossed that the travel system your Inlaws have found is gorgeous and a bargain!

You don't sound like a snob at all! It's just family's wanting to be involved too much, so much so that it's actually interfering! But they can't see that and that's why they get upset when their offers and opinions aren't agreed with. It really is sooo frustrating but what can you do.. accept try to avoid it as much as possible!? And that does push you away from people, it should be listed as a pregnancy symptom lol!

 

[ema-lou24]

Pmsl, thank u ladies, glad to know I'm not being a snob.

I remember when my sis fell pregnant she wanted everything new and quite rightly so! I would too. Because I was 17 when I had my 1st child, my mum sort of took over and became a nightmare, but 17, scared etc, I couldn't say no, so when my sis announced she was expecting and buying everything new, my mum called her a snob and offered her a buggy and my sis didn't want it due to a few scuffs but was perfect everywhere else. I'm sorry but I love a bargain as long as its not totally tatty etc.

We don't earn as much as my sister and my family know that so just automatically assume that I want second hand things, when I actually don't. Certain things yeah, if they are in really good condition, but id like a new travel system, one that vie picked for my baby and not handed to me etc.

We may not be loaded but we have saved for this baby so know we can afford new things, plus my family have to remember I'm 26 now, not a silly teen and vie done ok so far with my 8year old so this baby isn't gonna be treated any different.

I just hate hurting there feelings I want them to be involved, but not that much, I want a say in what id like for baby and not forced. I tried it my mums way 8years ago and half of it got sold or ditched cos it didn't agree with my baby or our routine.
Shes telling me to buy a new car cos I have a 3door, I can't afford a new one and at end of the day its me who's gonna be putting the baby in and out of the car, not her! She wants me to move so it's easier for me, but she forgets it me who's doing it, not her, so if I can manage, why is it a worry of hers?

Also, haven't spoke to my sis since beginning of may, and I just know as soon as my girl is born shes gonna come running like nothing has happened, but if I'm totally honest, cos she hasn't bothered with me this whole pregnancy, I don't want her to bit her with me when baby is born.......am I only good enough when I have something that she wants to see and coo over?
Dunno how I'm gonna deal with that one cos I know for a fact my OH will actually remove her from the hospital if she were to visit......awkward!

 

[Hope81]

I come to the conclusion that next time I will be pregnant I will not even tell to my parents before the baby is born lol ( they live in a different country).
The short 9 weeks I was pregnant (mmc) they were telling me things like didn you eat your fruit today? And then call me on skype again and ask if I drank milk today and ate vegetables...ask me 1000 times are you ok?FFS ofc I am ok, I mean I am pregnant, I am not ill....oh and the all time classic one...I hope you are not carrying groosseries....sure I am not because carrying 3 kg will definitely kill me and the baby...
Raaaaaaaaant

 

[Lilelephant]

I know the feeling I have to tAke co codamol die to my pelvis and have been told it is safe but my mum goes on and ona about it! I feelguilty enough taking it but I have no choice so annoying

 

[ceris]

its like you become a public opinion subject as soon as you become pregnant. EVERYONE has the right opinion...except you... EVERYONE knows whats best for the baby....except you... EVERYONE knows what you should and shouldn't eat....EXCEPT YOU.... everyone knows what you should buy.... EXCEPT YOU....
WHY CANT EVERYONE BUT OUT UNLESS ASKED THEIR OPINION!!!
It has been bubbling inside me for weeks now... and i have finally started snapping, saying well it is my baby and i will do what i think is right.. ok.... which i know makes me sound like a bitch, but generally people put it down to hormones and dont approach me for a few hours which suits me fine!!

If i want someones honest opinion... I WILL ASK!!!
OTHERWISE... Shut the F+*^% up!!

rant over... for now... xxx

 

[roxane 1985]

im makng sure i milk it for all its worth lol, ive got everyone rallying round me i feel like the queen of england.

im bloody well making sure i make the most of it as soon as baby is here i will be back to running round like a mad woman looking after my partner and kids, so until then if they wanna wrap my up in cotton wool and not have me lift a finger there is no way im gonna argue lmao though i think i shouldnt have to go to extreme lengths of having children just to get out of cooking dinner and doing the dishes hehehe

 

[Lilmoomin]

Wow! I really feel for you all! My mums being great, she just goes with whatever we want!! The only person I've had a run in with is a friend who wanted me to buy a second hand cot off her (she used it for both her kids, so I guess that makes it 3rd hand), 4 times I said 'No thanks, I want a new cot' but the last time I snapped at her! She went quiet on me for awhile but she's ok now! Oh and me & hubby cant agree on a boys name lol we've agreed on a girls but cant agree on boys!! x x

 

[Geminiblue]

OMFG you stick to your guns love....I didnt want to leave my child with anyone let alone over night...my mum went and bought a cot for her house...then said "oh so youll have to leave him now then wont you" I said "ha ha ha what a waste of my coz its over my dead body" ha ha, then she insisited that she was going to have him during the day, not sure when as when I do ask her for help she is too busy, so she went and bought a car seat...I just laughed shes had it 4 mnths and hes not been in it yet, her driving is appaling so he wont go unless its an emergency. This was all because I didnt want to have him out of my sight, he was my child, Id waited a long time for him and...well as you can tell I have a few issues ha ha. I now have him with a child minder when I work a couple of days a week as I trust her more than my family, they leave doors/gates open leading to roads, kettles on the edge of surfaces recently boiled I could go on. Well done, thanks for your rant, I feel much better ...I have another one on the way so have this all to come again x
xxx

 

[ema-lou24]

Wow!
It's nice to know I'm not the only one out there!

I was in mcdonalds yesterday treating my son to a day out and I was munching of a good greasy cheeseburger.......and someone I know walked in and actually cussed at me! I was like, I'm pregnant, don't take drugs, smoke or drink alcohol, I eat healthily and its a one off treat, get over yourself lol.

I said to my friend, I'm actually put off eating in public now cos of that.

There's ALOT worse out there than me, I know a lass who goes out and get wasted and shagged in the club toilets and shes pregnant, why not have a go at her lol

I will probably have a good rant later on as have to go to the mothers later and hope my sis isn't there, when my mum knows I'm not really speaking to the sis, she sets us up and gets us to come over at same time. Grrr!