Im angry and resentful today

[mrs_tommo22]

Im fúcked off today. Im resentful and angry at the people who have hurt me the most, my mum and dad.

My bloody mum has always been a constant source of anger for me, she put me in care at 11 cos she was a shit parent who couldnt cope with me, I was a bit of a messed up kid but my nan dying triggered that. She beat the shit out of me if i didnt behave myself. I hate her so much. I tried to get a relationship up with her a few uears ago and it all ended up in tears. So shes been out of my life for a couple of years now.

My dad, well he went when i was just a baby and he tried to visit but the bitch wouldnt let him. I didnt meet him till i was 11 nd that was at a social services meeting that was determining whether i should stay in care or not - I said at that meeting i wanted too becausei wadsnt having my mum beat me anymore.
I went to stay with him once and I felt uncomfortable because i felt his wife was watching me the whole time, i was 11. They had two children as well by this time.It was weird getting to know a father i had dreamt of for years.

And even now at 24 i long for my dad, I dream of him alot and just wish we could talk - I ballsed things up a few years ago and stopped speaking to him cos of something he said. But it shouldnt of stopped me contacting him.
I wrote to him 4 months ago to let him know of imogens birth,it was of this time i started having dreams about him which made me want to contact him.

But here we are four months on no contact, ive wrote him a letter tewlling him im angry at him and a email to say he wants nothing to with me would be better then nothing.

I dont expect replied im just venting and crying, I hate the cards i was dealt with sometimes. My life has been so crap, im just glad i have kids and tommo.

 

[Snuggle]

Oh hunny, maybe your Dad has moved so hasnt received the letter? Can you not try phone him instead? I have no contact with my Dad either but I have my stepdad so its a bit different.
I understand your anger at the world for the cards you've been dealt, I feel that way at mo
I'm always here if you need me babes

 

[libs]

hun I thought if all the things I wanted to say - but none of them will help.

Suffice to say I have a mum, and two dads. At 16 I made myself homeless and lived in a hostel for a year rather than be at home.

Now I have a brilliant relationship with mum and dad here, but took years and them admitting what went wrong. My other dad - wish i never ever met him

I think parents are sometimes the bane of our lives. Hope you sort it all out

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Oh hunny, maybe your Dad has moved so hasnt received the letter? Can you not try phone him instead? I have no contact with my Dad either but I have my stepdad so its a bit different.
I understand your anger at the world for the cards you've been dealt, I feel that way at mo
I'm always here if you need me babes

He defintely got it, my step mother phoned to say she got it and would send it too him, my dad works in saudi as a technical engineer on planes.so hes not in the country alot.

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

I have not been through this but after reading your post i wanted to give you lots of big warm
I hope you Dad does get in contact with you
Lol Sarah

 

[Sammystar]

aww hun I can't imagine how that must feel for you

Try to cheer up, you had a tough time in the past but look where you've ended up! You have a fantastic husband and two beautiful kids! Despite your own crappy mother, you have become a number one mum! You should be so proud of yourself.....try to focus on that

I know it's hard sometimes and I can't really offer any advice about your dad, except to maybe give it one last shot at contacting him. If he doesn't reply then at least you know you've done all you can.

Be strong, you've got so much to be happy about

 

[mamichuli]

Just wanted to send hugs, have no advice but wanted you to know that you have our support



Lisa

 

[Babylicious]

I agree with the other laydees. He should have at least given you a call or contacted you or anything but ignoring the letter. Families are strange things thats for sure.

 

[HappyAlice]

I've just seen this and wanted to give some
You have a beautiful new family now