im a sh*t mum

[Dee1985]

owww girls im sooo upset

my daughter cant stand me she screams when i touch her, she goes to her nans i once a week when i peep through the window at her she looks so happy playing and singing, i come through the door she screams and runs away, if she hurts herself she will go to her dad or her nan or her grandad my brothers my sister any one but me
it dont help with kris mum saying thinkgs like "god she was so happy till u came"

im the nasty mum that has to force her medicen when shes poorly give her baths when she hates them pin her down to change her bum, evey thing im doing is for the best but she is hating me for it,

i think iv nearly have gave up on her and mothering harley to much as im clinging on to him for love, and scared of going wrong. i cant believe im admiting all this.

i leave my daughter to play alone while i sit on this forum all day.
what kind of mother have i turned into... dior has now turned to sleeping all day (see my other thread)

im such a bad parent if she refuses her dinner i just give her any thing to shut her up!

things are bad and at this rate im gong to loose her

im taking some time away from this forum to try and bond with my daughter again.

it shows what kind of mother i am with a 15month old a 9week old yet still i have time to have way over 2000 posts

 

[Rosieroo]

dior has now turned to sleeping all day (see my other thread)

From her thirstiness and sleepiness it sounds like it could be medical. Not your fault.

i leave my daughter to play alone while i sit on this forum all day.

Ella is in her playring at the moment with her toys. Doesn't make you a bad mum.

im the nasty mum that has to force her medicen when shes poorly give her baths when she hates them pin her down to change her bum, evey thing im doing is for the best but she is hating me for it,

Maybe Kris could bath her and help out more with these things so its not you that has to do it all the time?

I expect Dior is just reacting to having Harley in the house. Maybe she's been feeling a bit pushed out (you say that you mother him quite a lot?). Perhaps Kris could take Harley for a bit and you and Dior could go out and do something together?

 

[petchy]

aw... chin up dionne - YOU ARE NOT A BAD MUM!!!

i leave ruben to play on his own a fair bit during the day too - how else am i supposed to do any housework?

they can't be with you all the time, stop beating yourself up!!!

 

[Rosebay]

Hey Dionne,

don't be so hard on yourself ((Dionne)) I think you're doing an AMAZING job. Two such young little ones at once is an incredible amount to handle, I can barely cope with one! Surely Dior is just going through a funny patch what with her little brother's arrival? And as for her looking happier at her grans so does Elliott. He laughs at everyone when we're out and saves the wailing for me but then I like to think of it as his public face and when he's with me he's more relaxed to be grumpy lol! Plus as you say it's easy to amuse a babe for a short while but having to care for them and do things they don't want you too is totally different. It's why my Mum loves being a Gran because she doesn't ever have to be the "bad guy" and say time for bed, or give nasty medicine etc and your mil should remember that and not say hurtful things to you.

As for the food, don't worry about it, she has to eat something like you say. I think it's too easy to get obsessed by these things. She's thriving so don't worry .

You're a great mum and kids will be kids, try not to take Dior's grumpy patch personally

+++

 

Hun you are a fab mum honestly, they way you are with Harley shows how good a job you are doing and I know you'll be doing the same with Dior. I have sent you a text babe xxxx

 

[mary70]

your not a bad mum at all kids have fases when they turn affection to someone else but your daughter loves u to bits has for giving her any food she wants i don't think there is a mother alive that does not do that if they tell the truth
i am sure she is a happy healthy child and you r doing everything right try to stop worrying and i am sure in a few days everything will be ok

 

[Amanda]

Oh Dionne, we all think this once in a while hun. That means we are good mums for worrying.

My daughter is 13 and still prefers being at my parents, or the in-laws, rather than being at home. Whenever the in-laws ask her to sleep round, she jumps at the chance, then comes home the next day (always later than she said!) with stories of what a fab time she has had. The thing is, they do exactly the same as we do with her! She stayed there on a Friday night a couple of weeks ago, and her night was - Tesco's for the weekly shop, KFC on the way home, watch a film together, then bed. The next morning was helping MIL in the kitchen (she's a cook at an old folks home), and chatting to her mates on MSN. If she would have been here, there would have been an argument about coming shopping, she would have moaned that she prefers pizza for the Friday takeway, the film would have been crap, and bedtime too early. Then she would have refused to help me in the morning (it's booooorring!), and she would have spent the rest of the day on MSN. I'm the one who nags at her about her homework, the state of her room, getting her chores done, and what she is wearing (I'm turned into my mum!!). I sometimes feel that all we do is argue - we had another this morning about whether she needed to iron her t-shirt. But, she still left the house with a kiss, and a 'love ya'. Dior would be lost without you hun, and she doesn't hate you.

You are already showing how much you love your daughter by saying you are taking time-out from the forum. Good luck with this hun. Just spend some time together. Get Kris to take Harley for a bit, then switch the TV and PC off, and play with her. You'll be okay soon, I'm sure of it.

xxxxxxx

 

[Urchin]

Dionne you are a greast mom, all kids go through this phase hun.

If other people spoil her a little and you have to do the everyday routine things she hates then maybe it is time to mix things up a bit.
I'd get your mom to look after Harley for a day and spend some quality time with Dior, take her to the sea-life centre, or to Cannon Hill Park or something. It wont take much to turn her around, you'll see.
As for spending time on the forum, I'm sure you do what most of us do and that's come on here when your child is sleeping or when she's busy with something else.
If you need to spend some time away then go for it, if I think I'm spending too much time here intead of leaving my laptop on while I do the housework and stuff I make sure it's swtched off, so then I won't get tempted to have a quick look at the forum when I sit down.
Are you still going to a local baby group? If not I'd get back into the habit as you said Dior really enjoyed it when you went before.

She'll come around hun, you are a great mom, no-one here thinks otherwise.

 

[Lindsay]

Dionne I can only mirror what other people have said on the forum, you are a great mum and that can be seen with how you talk about your children on the forum, it could possibly be that Dior is a little jealous of Harley coming along it was only at the weekend that my mum was telling me what I was like when my bro came along .... I was a horror, was lovely to my bro but a witch to my mum.

Sending you ((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

Xxx

 

[Urchin]

Dionne if you look in your profile you can see that you have made an average of 4.87 posts per day, there's nothing wrong with that!

I don't think it's right to judge people on how much time they spend on here. Some mums might not talk to anyone else the whole day, stuck at home, fat and pregnant or with a baby...if you're worried about something you can sit and make yourslef go mad or you can come on here and talk about it.

 

Dionne if you look in your profile you can see that you have made an average of 4.87 posts per day, there's nothing wrong with that!

Whereas Urchin makes 7.6 a day and I make 10.7 posts a day

You're nto a bad mum at all, I spend alot of time on here too but Damien is always near me, playing or rolling about, my laptop is just on the floor next to me so i can be near him too, and I know you don't spend forever on here hun. Being a SAHM we need some time to chat and have a laugh, that's what alot of us come here for.

You're doing a fab job I promise xxx

 

[beanie]

Dionne look how many posts I have got!!!! I second what everyone else is saying, you are a fab mum. Dior has had to adjust and she is way too young to decide she hates you. Seren gets cross with me because I do all the boring routine stuff like nappy changes etc whereas OH comes in and plays with her so daddy is fun and mummy is just there for food but then there are days when she doesn't want anything to do with her dad. Honestly no-one here can doubt how much you care for your children, your posts are full of love and pride for them and both Dior and Harley know their mommy cares for them very much.

 

[bubble_dreamer]

Dionne you are not a shit mum!!!!!

beth is going through exactly the same thing at the moment but with Dan not me, she wont go near him she screams at him wont let him near her, he tries to cuddle her and she runs to me. its just a stage they go through babe, please dont blame yourself (i know its easier said than done before you shout at me! )

I spend a lot of the time on the pc and Beth spends a lot of time playing on her own, in fact she is sitting on the floor next to me playing with her dolly right now!

Please please stop blaming yourself babe, you are a good mum!

*hugz* xxxxxx

 

[lauramumof2]

Nope, sorry Dionne but I wont have you saying you are a bad mum. You are a great mum and you havent said anything in that post that has shocked me.
Weans that age always take things out on the mum or the primary care giver.
I can identify with everything you listed except the sleeping thing but if she were doing it to be away from you I dont think she would be sleeping, I agree with kina, that sounds like a medical thingy.
Ive been off work for 3 weeks now and becuause im here all day jess is definately more all over stuart when he comes home. She has always batted me away if she falls and I go over to her, i just wait now and ask her once she calms down if I can kiss her better and she comes to me then and gets cuddles. As for the feeding, at that age jess would spit everything out. I took heart from an article that said they will not starve themselves. If its particulary difficult I give her a jar of baby food.
Do you have a plastic medicine syringe, it makes giving medince a bit fun (as long as they dont point it at you).

Its going to be tricky dealing with the two of them and balancing out attention and I dont know how to do that or what to suggest, maybe you are trying too hard with her, thinking you arent giving her enough attention and maybe giving her too much.

Take care hun and dont panic,

 

[Layla]

i agree with everyone here,

you are a fab mum, dont think otherwize hun!! its not easy bringing up two little ones, but your doing fantasic! you are such a natural at it.

im sure Dior is justplaying up coz of Harley, Charlie became a dadys girl for a while when Ethan was born, but it didnt last long.

xxxx

 

[hev&madi]

awww dionne i dont think your a bad mum!!!

you have to very beautiful children who get all the love they could want.

everything you do for them is only for the best

 

[Ragna]

Dionne

Hello again (has been months) I havnt been online for ages and last time you were pregnant with Harley CONGRATULATIONS. There is no way that you are a bad Mum, the very fact that you think you are is a contradiction to that fact because real bad mums dont ever see it hun.

Dont beat yourself up about coming on line, I know what a life line it has been for me over the past five years. Think the suggestion that someone mad about your Mum having Harley giving you some time with Dior is great.

Think that most of us at some time will most likely go through the same thing that you are with Dior. I know that when my elder children were younger I had similar thing and was convinced it was their Dad they loved and not me...Funny that cos we are all so close now (especially my Girls who I have just been shopping with) Each Stage hunny will come with a new and different problem....Wait for the Teen stage ha ha.

Dont isolate yourself by not coming online either Dionne...You need the support from your friends

Take care now xxxx
Ragna xxxx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

DIONNE u r not a bad mum ur great with DIOR and HARLEY would a sh*t mum be posting on here asking for some advise surely a sh*t mum wouldnt bother to do that. everyone on here of speaks to u know how much you love both your gorgous kids.
i am forever on here while Braydon is playing u NEED to tlk to people sometimes hun have u tried getting dior one of them play computers n getting her to play on that with u if u get wot i mean
but u are not a bad mummy ur great and everyone on here loves u to peice if u need to tlk hun im always here

 

[violet-glow]

Hey hun, awww dont feel like your a bad mum, your not i think your doing such a great job. You have two kids and your the same age as me, to be honest I kinda look up to you for advice etc because were the same age and im about to have my second child. When I take zack to my parents, all he wants to do is play with them. When he falls outside playing in their garden, its them he will go to not me. When its time to come home back to mine, he says taht he cant come with me because he doesnt want to. I know its heart braking, but it is just a faze. I know for a fact that your little girl loves you to death. Your always there for her. Maybe shes just a bit jeal;ous of her little brother at the moment, because things were different before he came along. I shouldnt worry, in time she'll come round and when shes older you can remind her of this and have a go at her lol. Dont be upset, im sure she'll be fine with you. Take care hun... xx

 

[sophie]

dionne please dont think ur a bad mum, cos ur really not. I think every mum feels like this from time to time, i feel guilty all the time i work 4 days a week 9 till 5.30 i feel such a bad mother for leaving kai but people reassure that im workin so kai can have a better life but i still feel guilty. u do the best for ur children an thats all we can do. i admire u with havin 2 small children an u seem to cope so well.
please dont feel like this.
also kai always has a better time with his nan an gran an his uncle an auntie, they let him get away with murder i dont!
i also agree, u an dior perhaps takin some time out just the 2 of u.
chin up hun things will work out xxx