I want to feel sexy!

[Melanie]

OK i love Richard and i know he loves me. Our relationship is great but our sex life well sucks.

We had a great sex life before Thea but then while i was pregnant he barely touched me. I tried and was knocked back and it made me feel like shit so i didn't try again We didn't have sex at all from me being about 15 weeks with Thea.

Since she was born we have had sex three times in three months. And it sucked. It was like he just wanted it over with and i just ended up feeling hurt and upset. I dont want to be gross with the TMI but lets just say he tried really hard not have to look at my face while it was happening.

I know I'm still over weight and I've got leaky boobs and all that crap but i still want to feel attractive. I'm trying really hard to get back into shape but its hard and its not happening over night. I just feel like I'm not what he wants in bed anymore and i dont know what to do to fix it

 

[Minxy]

I'm sorry you feel like this

Have nothing constructive to suggest other than to let you know you're not the only one

Give it time xxx

 

[Melly+2]

i am the same hunny, me anf my bf have had sex 2 times since hope, dont worry bout it hun i bet you look great xxx

 

[Manda&Thomas]

erm its a tough one but have you tried wearing something nice not ott just like a short silky nighty or things alike it might help
the problem is if you dont feel gd it will rub off onto him
manda x

 

[nathanmum]

my oh wouldnt come near me when i was pregnant and this was really difficult for me. yes theres more to a relationship than sex but it makes you feel wanted and fancied really, he though it was weird hes been ok since. do you think hes nervous? cos youve changed ie giving birth, and your boobies are otherwise engaged, he might not know what he can and cant touch. does that make any sense? men ai they are a weird species

 

[Dee1985]

awww hun Kris was the same when i was preg. he was all over me untill the first scan as soon as he realised there realy is a little life inside me he didnt come near me. i didnt really care untill i caught him watching a dirty show

my body is nothing like it used to be and i dont feel confident or sexy naked, so i put on a lil baby doll nighty thing with matching hotpants. put a bit of makeup on, and i feel much better.

it will get better in time hun

 

[cassi]

aww hun dont worry your not the only one I feel terrible but in your pics you dont look big at all ! but I can understand you feeling big because you used to be a size 6 right? but you will be back like that in no time im sure! I am now a size 16 and used to be a 10 and I feel sooo horrible..you know what i mean when I say its just not me, its not what im used to so to me im massive you know?

Why not talk to him and see what he says? It could be that you giving birth or been pregnant has made him nervous about sex? I read in a magazine that some guys get like that, and maybe getting whats wrong off his chest will help? Or try having a nice romantic meal when thea is in bed one night and have an "us" night?

hope things work out

 

[TipsyDipsy]

OOO I hate men some times
My hubbie did the same thing to me hun. He wouldn't go near me when I was pregnant nor after i'd had her and hadn't lost the weight yet.
The resentment was still there after I had lost it though when he started to approach me again.
He'd put on weight and I acted in the same way to him out of spite that he'd done to me.
I know thats tit for tat but it made me feel better and showed him what it was like to be made to feel like that with the end result of him being a lot more considerate during this pregnancy.
You'll lose the weight hun and feel sexy again before you know it but you won't forget his actions.

 

[Julia]

Hello,

My baby is nine months old and in that time me and DH have had sex twice. We talk about it and he says that it will get better with time. It can to a head when we went away with another 3 couples over new year and they said they had sex once a week (after kids). He then saw how distant he had become and said he would make an effort (I would prefer it to come naturally to him). He buys me flowers and is more cuddly with me but NIL sex !! He said last night that he wanted an early night with me but all it came to was smoothing each other.....I am really sad about it but have become bitter and numb towards him. If our relationship wasn't good in other ways and we didn't have the baby I think I would have left by now!!!!!!

Julia xx

 

[Shelley]

I feel so down about the same sort of thing. I'm now 36 weeks pregnant and we haven't had sex since I was 11 weeks. Apart from a few fumbles (me treating him as he won't even touch me). He always used to say I looked nice and compliment me but I can't remember the last time. I work in a shop and everyone else keeps saying how good I look and how I have a definate 'glow' and have kept my figure (apart from the obvious bump) but none of it matters as its not him saying it.

I could cry right now how unwanted I feel and he just says I'm being daft if I try and talk about it. He's even distant when we talk now as if I'm boring him and refuses to take me out for a meal or anything saying we can't afford. I just want to feel like he's proud of me being his OH and not fed up of me already. we've been together for nearly 3 years and things have been fantastic up to now.

What exactly can I do to be more desirable to him or is it just how things will be from now on?

 

[OverTheMoon]

I reckon a lot of it is down to self doubt. We doubt ourselves because of our 'new' figure, and therefore we are less confident which is probably quite off putting. It took me a long time to get my confidence back in my body, its mostly a matter of accepting the change and embracing it!!! Sounds like a load of old twaddle but true!
The best thing I did was went out on a night out with the girls. Get all dressed up and get out there. It does your ego a world of good and hubby will sit up and take notice too. Even if you do wanna come home at ten pm cos you're too knackered to hack the pace any more!!! Just gives you that feeling back of being an independent woman AS WELL as a fabulous mother and wife!!!

 

[Urchin]

I have issues with this too, I spent 25 quid in La Senza for valentines day and it worked wonders for ME aswell as OH. They have such a big range in there, and quite cheap too, have a look