I really need some advice

[xx.kelly]

Hi everyone,

I am coming on here as I have no one else to talk to about this and really need some advice.

I am almost 4 and a half months pregnant and me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year. Things just don’t ever seem to go right for us. My boyfriend was arrested on unpaid fine and spent 2 weeks in jail. He said that he wanted to sleep the whole way through it and the doctor in the prison offered him valium to help him. As soon as he came out of jail he had to go cold turkey on these because he couldn’t get any when he was out and it sent him crazy and he tried to kill himself.

Then we moved away to London to try and get away from everything and when we got here he tried to kill himself another two times. Then on my birthday he got drunk and broke my nose. He has since hit me another 2 times and every time afterwards he tries to kill himself. I got to work full time and he no longer works and he doesn’t get benefit either. I love him so much but I can’t seem to get over the fact that he gets drunk and beats me up and then slits his wrists – it’s like he doesn’t even think about the baby.

He has no living family and I think that he suffers from depression but I can’t even get him to go to the doctor. I am so worried about what the future holds and wondered if anyone had any advice?

I am sorry to throw my life story on you all lol

Thanks

 

[Jade_Number1]

This is going to sound harsh and you probably don't wamt to hear it.

LEAVE HIM

If he has been violent towards you- you have to get out of that environment for the sake of your unborn baby. If he wants to sort himself out, let him.

I have been in an abusive relationship. It started with a slap here and there when he'd been drinking, followed by tears and 'I love you's'. I thought he really loved me- I ended up at the bottom of the stairs with a broken leg and a ruptured ear drum before I realised I had to get out. I walked away from it with my handbag and nothing else and had to rebuild my life. It was hard BUT now I am in SAFE and loving relationship. Think what you would do if when you have your new born baby he hits it a little too hard and kills it? Or if he is jealous of the affection the baby is getting and hits you more? Its not worth it.

PLEASE GET OUT BEFORE ITS TOO LATE

 

[NooNoo]

What she said...sorry if you dont want to hear this but...

He doesnt love you if he is prepared to beat you and your child...

Sorry if that sounds harsh but its the truth...Get out asap

 

[freepie]

Firstly....



i feel very sorry for the situation you BF is in. However, it is HIS situation, and he needs to sort himself out...

i think the best thing you can do is leave him... you say in your post that he is not thinking about the baby, but (and please dont hink i am being horrible), if you stay with him then you are not thinking about the baby either.

Leave him. Do it for you and your baby. He needs to sort humself out and get a job... if he can do those things and prove to you he is trying then maybe it is worth trying again....

but you need to leave him... you need to be in a safe environment for yourself and the baby while pregnant....

 

[little*red]

i agree with jade,
When you talk about his suicide attepmts it sounds like he manipulate you with these to show you how 'sorry' he is. trust me if he really wanted to kill himself he probably would have done it by now. i wouldnt be shocked if you said you were leaving and he attempted 'suicide' again. he will useit to manipulate you.
I know you think he loves you but he doesnt, if he did he wouldnt beat you up. i know you love him but think about your unborn child, your not only risking your own life by staying weith him but the childs too.

You know his behaviour is wrong and that you shouldnt be with him otherwise you wouldnt be asking for our help.
Somewhere deep inside you have the strenght to get out of this relationship, i hope you realise that sooner than later .

 

[Snuggle]

I'm sorry but I have to agree with the others, this is a very unstable relationship to bring a baby into and you must get out of it. Are you willing to put yourself and your baby at risk from his next beating? How would you feel if the next beating resulted in the loss of your baby? Please get away from him hunny

 

[xx.kelly]

Hi everyone,

I am coming on here as I have no one else to talk to about this and really need some advice.

I am almost 4 and a half months pregnant and me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year. Things just don’t ever seem to go right for us. My boyfriend was arrested on unpaid fine and spent 2 weeks in jail. He said that he wanted to sleep the whole way through it and the doctor in the prison offered him valium to help him. As soon as he came out of jail he had to go cold turkey on these because he couldn’t get any when he was out and it sent him crazy and he tried to kill himself.

Then we moved away to London to try and get away from everything and when we got here he tried to kill himself another two times. Then on my birthday he got drunk and broke my nose. He has since hit me another 2 times and every time afterwards he tries to kill himself. I got to work full time and he no longer works and he doesn’t get benefit either. I love him so much but I can’t seem to get over the fact that he gets drunk and beats me up and then slits his wrists – it’s like he doesn’t even think about the baby.

He has no living family and I think that he suffers from depression but I can’t even get him to go to the doctor. I am so worried about what the future holds and wondered if anyone had any advice?

I am sorry to throw my life story on you all lol

Thanks

 

[Jade_Number1]

This is going to sound harsh and you probably don't wamt to hear it.

LEAVE HIM

If he has been violent towards you- you have to get out of that environment for the sake of your unborn baby. If he wants to sort himself out, let him.

I have been in an abusive relationship. It started with a slap here and there when he'd been drinking, followed by tears and 'I love you's'. I thought he really loved me- I ended up at the bottom of the stairs with a broken leg and a ruptured ear drum before I realised I had to get out. I walked away from it with my handbag and nothing else and had to rebuild my life. It was hard BUT now I am in SAFE and loving relationship. Think what you would do if when you have your new born baby he hits it a little too hard and kills it? Or if he is jealous of the affection the baby is getting and hits you more? Its not worth it.

PLEASE GET OUT BEFORE ITS TOO LATE

 

[NooNoo]

What she said...sorry if you dont want to hear this but...

He doesnt love you if he is prepared to beat you and your child...

Sorry if that sounds harsh but its the truth...Get out asap

 

[freepie]

Firstly....



i feel very sorry for the situation you BF is in. However, it is HIS situation, and he needs to sort himself out...

i think the best thing you can do is leave him... you say in your post that he is not thinking about the baby, but (and please dont hink i am being horrible), if you stay with him then you are not thinking about the baby either.

Leave him. Do it for you and your baby. He needs to sort humself out and get a job... if he can do those things and prove to you he is trying then maybe it is worth trying again....

but you need to leave him... you need to be in a safe environment for yourself and the baby while pregnant....

 

[little*red]

i agree with jade,
When you talk about his suicide attepmts it sounds like he manipulate you with these to show you how 'sorry' he is. trust me if he really wanted to kill himself he probably would have done it by now. i wouldnt be shocked if you said you were leaving and he attempted 'suicide' again. he will useit to manipulate you.
I know you think he loves you but he doesnt, if he did he wouldnt beat you up. i know you love him but think about your unborn child, your not only risking your own life by staying weith him but the childs too.

You know his behaviour is wrong and that you shouldnt be with him otherwise you wouldnt be asking for our help.
Somewhere deep inside you have the strenght to get out of this relationship, i hope you realise that sooner than later .

 

[Snuggle]

I'm sorry but I have to agree with the others, this is a very unstable relationship to bring a baby into and you must get out of it. Are you willing to put yourself and your baby at risk from his next beating? How would you feel if the next beating resulted in the loss of your baby? Please get away from him hunny

 

[A&J]

I agree with the rest you must think about you and your child, sorry if that is not what you wanted to hear. Have some more hugs

 

[poppy160]

I think the same as the others, hun. In my early teens my brother developed manic depression while he was in the Navy and has tried to kill himself many times. He had even threatened his family, to the point where the police had to be called and in my opinion, I think this is what you should do because of the violence you have suffered. He needs proffessional help. When my brother was going through this my mum made herself ill with worry and almost had a breakdown, and I developed a problem with eating and lost alot of weight. You can't go on like this or you may end up making yourself sick with worry which won't be good for the baby. Is there anywhere you can go such as your parents or friends? Even with help, depression can take a long time to go away and there's no guarantee it won't come back. My brother still has it, and I know he won't be the same person again I hope everything works out, you definately don't deserve the abuse he's giving you

 

[Squiglet]

Oh Kelly

Please leave him for a while, just until he gets his head sorted out. Trust me, that all encompassing love you have for him won't last long, if he beats you up one day and you miscarry the baby. Eventually if he carrys on, he will beat the love out of you anyway.

Give him an ultimatum. You leave until he gets himself sorted. You will only go back when he can prove he has been in some sort of help program for 6 months at least. Remind him that you still love him, but your child is much more important than his issues, and while you are carrying that child, you cannot risk him getting drunk and hurting the baby.

He will beg and pled with you to stay, he will promise to get help...and if you give in I promise it will all go back to the way it was.

Just leave for now... You can still see him, go out on dates etc, but not live with him. If he values you and your relationship and the life growing inside you he will do something.

 

[Babylicious]

you need to get out hun, I've been there too

 

[Huddsgirl]

Goodness me and i thought i had problems , this has made me realise i should stop moaning about my problems.
Im sorry to hear your having such a tough time sweetie but i think you should perhaps leave him and let him seek medical advice, i no its easier said than done but hopefully if he realises what hes lost (once you leave) it might make him seek the much needed help. Hopefully he will soon start feeling more towards the baby when it arrive but to be honest i dont think i would want that type of person round my child waiting to snap.
hope things get better for you, and im so sorry to hear ur having such a tough time through your pregnancy
all my love xx

 

[xx.kelly]

Well just posting this with an update - the B**tard has left me!

After all that I have put up with - the beatings, him trying to kill himself, moving to the other side of great britain! He says that I lie to him to much and he left. He packed all his stuff, stole some money from me and left! No thought for our baby or nothing.

And I only lied to stop him from hitting me – because I lost his football tickets when I was tidying up so I told him that I took them to work and then I kept saying that I had forgot them In the hope I would find them in the house eventually and he has left me for that!

I don’t want to be a single mum – plus I have no friends or family in London. I’m so upset

 

[laura-82]

I think that it is for the best that he has gone. Is there any way that you can leave London & go back to family & friends that care about you? It must be really difficult for you at the moment but him leaving could be a blessing in disguise.

Its you & your baby now, you need to stay positive (hard I know) for you baby's sake but also for yourself.

Good luck hunny

 

[NooNoo]

This may sound harsh and dont take it the wrong way but i would be relieved its over...

As for you not wanting to be alone...that is normal..but everyday you will get stronger..have you no one at all in London..is there no like pregnancy groups or similar where u can meet other people in the same situation as you maybe??