I have tried explaining !!

[scaredmum2be]

I have tried explaining to my hubby why i didnt want sex because of the miscarriage we'd had sex and i bled an thats the reason i dont want sex, i havent gone off him although he seems to think i have.

Im scared out of my wit because he always pressurises me to have sex with him when i never want it but the more he moans about not getting it.

So not along go instead of talking to his face because we end up bickering i thought id express my feelings onto him via onto msn which at the time he's also talkin to his mate which fair enough.

I said to him i hope he understands how i am feeling and i want to wait the 2 weeks until im over that scary part of 3 months which is when i last miscarried but he seems to think im ok an really doesnt understand what im going about.

So now ive told him and the only thing put back is : k

yes that really gives me hope of his understanding i feel even wrong to say how i feel.

My marriage is on the line because i want to see how he was going to be but thats the only thing i got back from him

what am i to think now???
help!! xx

 

[scaredmum2be]

He said he would find someone else if i wasnt interested in having it an then in the next breath he said he only wanted it with me, im feeling low how can that be right ? xx

 

[ema-lou24]

thats shocking hun! he shouldnt be treating you like this!

my ex was like this to me when i was expectimg my son, i admit i just gave in cos i didnt want him leaving me, but after so long i couldnt care so chucked him when my son was 2...

god forbid i dont want this happening to you.

you need to sit down and get it all out in the open hun....we are here if you need a rant x

 

[Terrie]

thats so terrible

 

[evie_smith]

maybe he said it in the heat of the moment uno what men are like you could always please him orally and if he dont back off i would question his intensions x x

 

[scaredmum2be]

maybe he said it in the heat of the moment uno what men are like you could always please him orally and if he dont back off i would question his intensions x x

i dont fancy giving it to him orally i cant be bothered at the min with all this sex crap i just want these 12 weeks without puttin a rish of miscarrige . i say to myself if he does decide to go somewhere else i'll soon ere bout it but at the moment i wudnt care if he did sleep with someone else cos i cant be bothered with his moanin i sound wrong dont i.

After 3 months i will make more effort in giving it to him but i dont risk anything ive only got a week until im over that 12 week so i will keep holding out until then.

Men r just selfish alot an wat they always think wat they can get but when a women demands know i thik they stamp there feet an spit out there own dummies .

I leave him to get over his self now days i even told him to do his own deeds in the bathroom now if he was that gaggin he wud of done it by now i wudnt care anyway lol, gets to leave me alone for bit lolxx

 

[titch]

Oh hun Im so sorry, you dont need this stress now. If my OH said that to me that he'd go and find someone else I think I'd pack his bags for him, Id be furious with him! I dont blame you for feeling like this. You are absolutely within your rights to not have sex if you are concerned your baby will be at risk, you're a good mummy for putting your baby first, a lot of women wouldnt.

The funny thing about it, that a lot of men dont realise, is that if he'dbeen kind and supportive about it, and prooved to you that your relationship isnt dependant on sex, then you'd probably WANT to be intimate with him, like others say, just because you're avoiding full sex doesnt mean sex is off bounds! I dont remember anywhere in wedding vows saying "I promise to give you a good shag at least 3 times a week!"

Bloomin' men! Chin up hun, you're doing the right thing xxx

 

[scaredmum2be]

Oh hun Im so sorry, you dont need this stress now. If my OH said that to me that he'd go and find someone else I think I'd pack his bags for him, Id be furious with him! I dont blame you for feeling like this. You are absolutely within your rights to not have sex if you are concerned your baby will be at risk, you're a good mummy for putting your baby first, a lot of women wouldnt.

The funny thing about it, that a lot of men dont realise, is that if he'dbeen kind and supportive about it, and prooved to you that your relationship isnt dependant on sex, then you'd probably WANT to be intimate with him, like others say, just because you're avoiding full sex doesnt mean sex is off bounds! I dont remember anywhere in wedding vows saying "I promise to give you a good shag at least 3 times a week!"

Bloomin' men! Chin up hun, you're doing the right thing xxx

Glad someone understands me, I really dont fancy arguing about sex but he thinks its the main thing in relationship not for me it isnt at the moment i dont mind makin the effort after 13 weeks but im annoyed he didnt understand me although hes stopped bugging me now think he doesnt want me to nag or something. I said to him at one point he can bugger off if he keeps moanin he aint getting anything he goes its his house he'll do what he likes but other than i have no where to go so i stay lol.

i dont remember it being in the vows either but he also mentions that most preg womens sex drive go up i reminded him thats bout when ur mid far gone i aint got that far yet grr lol.

Im thinkin of the baby because i really dont fancy seeing blood i just dont fancy my chances which is understandable.
My mum calls him selfish hes thinking of him self alot more than me. xx

 

[FebMum2Be]

He should be being a lot more understanding hun Along with your other thread, he sounds like he isn't giving you the understanding you need at this point in your pregnancy I hope he pulls the finger out soon and stops putting himself first x

 

[Toonlass]

My OH is constantly banging on about sex too but i have had thrush for 21 weeks and it won't go away its sore and itchy but he still wants it!! I keep him at bay my doing other stuff to him, i can't be arsed but i just do it to shut him up. I understand that our men still have needs but to say he will get it else where is shocking!! I'd kick his ass hun!! xx

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Men can be so unreasonable sometimes, its sounds as if he needs to do a reality check and start understanding you a whole lot more - I hope it improves for you xx

 

[scaredmum2be]

I gave in in the end because now ive heard the babys heart beat and things seem to be fine at the moment with the baby ive not bled and ive not had any serious cramps an im 11 weeks an few days so i just let him have it he wasnt banging on this time i know he was really desperate.

Although because i no the baby seems to be doing fine i didnt cry after u no wat doing it so that was a gud thing .

I best not bleed or anything now though. He did seem to understand nearer the end cos i was stressin so much lol.

ty to the people that have written to me on this post he can still be selfish but hoping to teach him not to be a selfish pig haha x

 

[Rowesb]

Men
I have the opposite problem... DH is too scared to come anywhere near me... although I really don't feel like it atm, his fear was enough for me to drag him down to the MW and bring it up there... I'm not sure it has done much though...

 

[scaredmum2be]

Men
I have the opposite problem... DH is too scared to come anywhere near me... although I really don't feel like it atm, his fear was enough for me to drag him down to the MW and bring it up there... I'm not sure it has done much though...

Bless ya an men can be a right pain but we tend to love them for some reason or another . I was on the verge to being it up in convo to MW she'd be abit shocked though lol. although i spoke to her in private wen she weighed me because i was worried she said say to him that she sed we couldnt have it at all but i made out to him that sometimes we can have it not to make him feel totally put off he didnt let that one drop about me speakin to midwife about it lmao x