I hate the 2 week wait!!!

[cornishfairy]

Why is it every month I tell myself 'this month will be different. I won't stress, I won't symptom spot, I won't poas way too early' yet I still do it!!! And then I get totally depressed during the 2ww thinking that yet another cycle is going to pass me by without a bfp.

All my partner and I want is to start a family and when we started ttc in feb 2010 we assumed it would be simple. Ha! If only we knew! I can't believe how hard it is and as each year goes by and another year of my 30's is lost I am feeling like a ticking time bomb, very much aware that I will now be older than my mum was when she had me (she had just turned 31, I'm almost 32 and not pregnant yet!). I don't consider her an old parent by any stretch of the imagination but I don't want to be much older and unlike her I want to have 2 if possible rather than 1.

I know stressing doesn't help but no matter how hard I try to relax it just takes over every waking thought. I am getting married in 3 months and am nowhere near organised for it but I can't get my head straight to really enjoy the build up. I just wanna get the wedding over and done with so it's one less thing to stress me out!

I'm in the last couple of days of my 2ww and started poas on Sunday - why?!?! Needless to say the daily disappointment when only one line shows up just makes it worse. I know it's not over until af arrives but I'm getting seriously down with seeing her every month now.
After miscarrying at 5 weeks in may I now know that a bfp is physically possible but the prospect of years more TTC and bfn's is really getting me down.

Sorry for being such a grumpy git but I feel like I need a rant! My OH works opposite hours to me so I can't vent at him!

Lots of super strong baby dust to all of us fed up of the dreaded 2ww!!

 

[Becky1]

I agree with you completely. Like you I'm nearly 32 (well in 6mths) and my mum was 31 when she had me. I always thought that I'd be 31 too, not sure why but cos it was how old my mum was it sounded an acceptable age.

Only been trying since feb this year but finding the 2ww each month worse and worse. Getting pregnant consumes all my thoughts, I'm always googling one thing or another! Bloody smartphones

I'm now a week away from testing date or 6 days from af ... Ahhhh

But wow your getting married soon, so exciting! Perhaps your little bean wants to be your wedding present

Baby dust all round I think xxx

 

[cornishfairy]

Yeah it would be a great wedding present!! I kinda hoped it'd happen this month or the next so we can get a 12 week scan before the wedding and surprise everyone on the day with the photo and the news! But if not at least I can get legless on champagne I guess!
Smartphones certainly don't help do they. Imagine how much calmer we'd be without the Internet! Not googling every single thing that we feel/see... I'm blooming addicted to googling stuff!!
I wish you lots of luck ttc, hope you're wait isn't too much longer

 

[cornishfairy]

Cried loads last night over the stresses of long term ttc and as if to rub it in af came two days early today. Ugh..... x

 

[jojo3972]

realy sorry she got ya cornishfairy xxx

 

[Becky1]

Oh cornishfairy that is rubbish, so sorry. I don't think this month will be my month either judging by the usual af crampings that are creeping in.

xx

 

[gingah]

Cried loads last night over the stresses of long term ttc and as if to rub it in af came two days early today. Ugh..... x

I'm sorry. x

 

[cornishfairy]

Thanks ladies. Fingers crossed for next month. Baby dust for you all xx

 

[Iwant3]

af got me early too last cycle - I was waiting for a hpt to develop and while I waited I checked my cp - and found AF - so binned the test, lol.

Sorry to hear you having been trying so long- I really hope you can get a bfp in time to show your scan pic at the wedding - that would be lovely

 

[Bellarina]

awe sorry af got you hun...this ttc is a hell of a time isnt it, wev been ttc for a yr now. up until today i was feeling pretty psitive but tonight iv had af type cramps so highly expecting her to arrive in next couple of days

sending lots of babydust for next cycle for you xxx

 

[cornishfairy]

Thanks everyone. Sometimes it just really gets you down doesn't it? Think the grief from my mc has really hit me this week too. Going to try the SMEP this month and see if we get some success with that. We have a weeks hol from next fri onwards so that'll be 9 days off work together from cd10 onwards which will make regular bd'ing a bit easier! Xx

 

[hayes]

Im sorry she got you hun.

Ive been ttc for over a yr now too and its my 30th in 4wks time i really thought id have a lo by now or at least be pg so its hit hard the last few cycles cant shake this feeling that something is wrong and il neva be a mum.

Michelle. x

 

[cornishfairy]

Aww Michelle it's not easy is it? You always imagine that the first month of unprotected bd you'll get pg and then when it takes ages it just feels like each month that comes and goes you lose more and more hope. We'll get there in the end (I hope!!). I just wish it was easy for us all to switch off but I know we've all got this one thing at the front of our minds! Fingers crossed for you. Xxxxx

 

[hayes]

Thank you, ur so spot on i wish i cud turn off my ttc brain but i just cant its so upseting sumtimes. Feeling a bit more positive today but i still dont think its my month, after 14months of it not being my month i cant beleive any month will lol.

Michelle. x

 

[longingforabump]

Big hugs to you

Sending lots of dust your way for your next cycle

 

[HopesDreams]

I don't know how people keep their cool during the 2 WW. I just went through my first one & it nearly drove me insane. My AF was due on Tuesday & it still hasnt arrived....strange because I'm normally so regular with a 28 day cycle. I stopped clutching at straws quite a while ago & came to terms with the fact that I had missed out my chance this month. I'm not symptom spotting, haven't for ages, so why hasn't AF arrived? Should I do a pregnancy test even though I'm 99.9% certain it will be a BFN? Should I leave it a few more days? I'm certain that AF is on the way (albeit quite late for me) because the cramps are the EXACT same as my normal AF cramps before she arrives, just a bit more painful. They woke me on Tuesday night. Very confused girl here.