I hate hormones

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

No clue what I want anymore. Everything is completely up to me. I'm stuck in limbo. I'm petrified of TTC again, having another miscarriage or even having another baby. I love Caitlyn to bits but she's an absolute nightmare sometimes and I can't imagine having to deviate my attention.

Reasons for TTC: Brother or sister for Caitlyn, another perfect little person to cherish and grow, to make things "complete"

Reasons for WTT: Need to learn to drive, can give Caitlyn more attention, fear...



Someone I know, who was a friend, had her second the other day and I felt so envious for a short while, I just don't know what I'm envious of. The attention, the accomplishment, the pride, or the baby?!

 

[Mamafy]

No easy answer to this one

While you're a woman (probably for the foreseeable future ) you'll always be torn.

Some days even after having my 5 I get broody then I think no way then I think awwww but yes then I think no way

 

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

Most days I think "I'm so young I have my whole entire life and I could get us into a much better financial position before we have another" then there's this little voice saying "you could do that with two, too!" and "it's not like we couldn't afford it, it'd just be tighter."

Me no know what I want

I was so happy when I saw pregnant on that test. So, so happy. I've never got so excited I've cried before, other than Caitlyn doing things for the first time and her being born ect. I was so happy for that short period of time and then it was gone. Now I just feel numb. I'll never let myself get like that again?

Blergh!! I wish I could borrow my life story off the big guy upstairs so I knew exactly what to do!

 

[Mamafy]

Alot of this is probably fear hun, fear of losing a baby again

That's whats tarnished TTC for you, not the actual baby part.

I'd give yourself more time, things will eventually fall into place in what you want to do, no rush after all.

 

[Amy - x]

Just go with the flow. The stress of TTC is awful. Try push it to the back of your mind for a while and maybe things will just happen. No doubt getting pregnant again will be terrifying. I am dreading it too... I have a lot of what ifs.... but I'll come to that when it happens

xxx

 

[Mervs Mum]

 

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

Thank you ladies. I change my mind every day and untill I'm sure we'll be sticking in WTT x

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

i dont have a fecking clue how i'm going to cope with two it was all good and iw as like, yea i can do this on my own...and then katie started getting active!! i went from having a baby that would literally sit in one place all day just playing with her toys, to having one that wont sit still for more than a second! in a way i'm thinkin well its gona be easier when i'm not pregnant any more, but then i've got the baby to cart about too, only difference is she'll be on the outside wnating more attention

 

[luvbunsazzle]

Aww hunni

 

[Rowesb]

Aww it sound a bit like how I'm feeling at the minute, desperate to be pregnant again, but terrified of going through another heartbreak...


ED: ok I'm now going to have to learn another set of symbols

 

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

- s = : hug :

 

[Pompey_Princess]

oh hon, it must be very hard after a loss to think about ttc again, go at your own speed sweetie xx

 

[Toonlass]

Aww i feel for you hun maybe try NTNP and let nature take its course. I'm a believer of it will only happen if its meant to be. I have no idea how i am going to cope with 2 kids under 1 but if it wasn't supposed to happen then it wouldn't have so i'm just gonna suck it up and do my best.

I hope you find some answers soon chick xx

 

[Mervs Mum]

I think NTNP is the answer for you. I think you're a person who is all or nothing (reminds me of someone I know..... ) and TTC can be an all consuming, head feck when you're that way inclined. Let nature decide hun

 

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

I keep going to look up which CD I'm on but not looking because I don't want to do that to myself again It's so hard not to though...

 

[Toonlass]

TTC was tough for you, i was one of your journal stalkers lol. Don't look chick, just go with the flow xx

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

am i the only one that cant do ntnp?! with this one, we werent ttc, but obv knew it was a possiblity (even tho i was convinced it would never ever happen to me!) and i still found myself getting to the end f the month and being like TEST!!!! that said tho, the first month i was just paranoid and the 2nd i was actually pregnant!!

 

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

I don't think Rich even wants to try yet to be honest. I don't think the MC upset him as much as me being so upset about it IYKWIM

 

[Pompey_Princess]

completely no what you mean hon

alice - i too am a person that can't do ntnp, if i did, i no i would be trying by the end of the day! heck i've got ff going well over a year before we start!

not the same at all, but i really found ttc heart breaking with maddi, me and james were both in tears the month before we conceived her, it really is awful and then to experience a loss honey, i think your still recovering darling xx

 

[Amy - x]

I cant NTNP for the life of me but things are kinda different here xx