I hate him :-(

[Tasha89]

I've tried and tried for months but no matter how much I try to keep it in, I cant hide the fact that things just aren't right between me and Jamie anymore.
About 3 weeks after Evelyn was born EVERYTHING he did wound me up, no matter how small or petty it was i'd still find reason to snap at him about it.
Now, he does help about the house and helps look after Evelyn but I still find something to have a go at him for. It's like some days I just live to have a go at him.
For example, last night I went to put a load of washing on and the drawer where the soap goes was starting to go mouldy. He was the last to put a load on and he'd left it like that. His excuse was that he didn't have time to clean it!! It only takes 2 seconds to give it a wipe!! Then afterwards he dropped a glass in the sink and it smashed, I just hit the roof and he slept on the sofa. I just feel like he's the most stupid person i've ever met!

I don't know if I love him anymore either. I cant stand him being anywhere near me - although that might have more to do with the fact that i'm back up to pushing a size 18-20 when i'd worked so hard to get to a 12 two years ago.
I'm at my wits end - i'm so tempted to just pack up mine and Evelyns stuff and move to my Grandma's spare room but I know that Jamie couldn't afford the mortgage and bills on his own, let alone to feed himself. I feel like i'm stuck in this life and there's nothing I can do to get out of it.

I'm in floods right now as I never wanted Evelyn to have to grow up with seperated parents like I did. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I daren't tell anyone as I don't want to be seen as a failure. I don't really have many 'close' friends to talk to either.

 

[evie_smith]

Maybe just try to be nice to him talk to ten before you speak men are very ... Simple you act overly nice and they start doing things better lol! I went through a stage with my husband where all I would do is snap at him I knew I still loved him and we has kids but I didn't realise how much I kept pushing him away until he said something so I tried the nice nice approach and now were closer than ever have been - it's worth a shot surely?

 

[evie_smith]

Oh and allot of my pushing away was to do with was I gained allot of weight too xx

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Tash - Im so sorry that you are feeling like this, have you felt like this for a while? Like before you were pregnant? Maybe you guys need some time to yourselves to get a bit of that spark back? If you do think you are better off apart then don't feel bad or be hard on yourself, Jamie would still be in Evelyn's life - you have to do what you think is right for you. xxx

 

[flexilexi394]

ahh tasha
its perfectly ok to fall out of love with someone! dont kick yourself about it. theres ways of separating, dont worry about him or whatever, if you want to leave him, then do. its ok to do that, people do split up! evelyn needs happy parents and if thats only going to be with them apart then thats just the way it has to be. you may meet someone else that is better for you, and then she will have a happier mummy. if you are worried about the money side of things, talk it through with him and sort something out, even if you have to sell the house or whatever, its gotta be done sometimes. hope youre ok. xxx

 

[Stunned]

Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Maybe a trial separation will help clarify exactly how you feel - maybe you will see that you get on better separated or you will miss him and fall back in love again. But above all, talk to him first before you do anything.

 

[Princess81]

Yeh hun I think the first step is to gently try to break it to him. Have you thought of relationship counselling? My friend had troubles in her marriage and she went and said that it really helped them. But you need to get it out in the open how you are feeling, I have been there too, when I was married and it was bloody hard - an awful thing to have to say but although I felt very guilty I also felt relieved too. It's not a nice place to find yourself it hun xxx

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

We went for counselling and it was really beneficial to our marriage -

 

[ZMD]

so sorry your feeling like this Hun, me and OH split up last week he stayed living here But we lived separate lives yesterday we agreed we will give it another go But If it doesn't work he will move out and still c Tegan every weekend etc. he wasn't helping and was being pretty useless! all i done was nag and moan everything he done made me hate him!! i spoke to my best mate and she said If i was nicer to him He would want to help more so far he's been great! hope u can work it out If that's what u want Hun xx

 

[ERIN84]

aww, Tasha. Sorry to hear you feel like this. I think, regardless what anyone says only YOU (deep down) know how you feel about Jamie. Do you think he still loves you the way he used to?

If I were in your shoes, I know you are booked to go away etc, I would move out just for a week or something? See how much you miss him and you might be able to figure out how you feel. Xxxx

 

[Baby Bean]

Oh hun relationships are so hard, especially after having a lo. I keep snapping at my oh and getting really irritated too but every so often he does something nice and I remember I love him! Maybe try talking to him about how you're feeling at the moment and take it fro there? Good luck hun xxx

 

[Tasha89]

Thanks for all your advice girls. We had a row the night before this post so we were still in mid argument when I posted. It's not the first time we've been in this situation - it's the 3rd or 4th since Evelyn was born.
We ended up having a blazing row yesterday morning where I told him me and Evelyn were leaving and he just casually said "Ok" so I went nuts! lol! I was like "Aren't you going to fight for us?!" and then eventually we both had a big old cry and agreed to make more of an effort...so far so good.
I'm really trying to be nicer to him...it pained me before but not so much anymore...Wish us luck! lol x

 

[evie_smith]

Good luck sweetie x

 

[ZMD]

Hope It works out for you Hun. it sounds so much like me and my OH! X

 

[AugustMum]

Only just seen this. I really hope you can both figure everything out. Everything is so much more stressful with a child involved and I think it usually changes a relationship and so the new dynamics of the relationship need to be figured out. Maybe this is you and Jamie just figuring it out again.

 

[Emmamb]

I went through this with my elder kids dad,after breaking down to my boss 1 day she advised I went to see the doc and I was diagnosed with post natal depression,I was only on tablets for a couple of months but it made a world of difference. Just wondered if it's something u may have? It can occur anytime in the year after birth xxx

 

[Mrs.s]

When I was feeling down last year because I had lost my job and life was very stressful my relationship with my husband suffered so much I was totally horrible to him,didn't want him near me everything he did pissed me off and I thought that maybe I had made mistake marrying him! Turns out I was just very down and depressed because of The situation because when I got a new job and we didn't have money issues life went back to normal and I realised how much I did love him I just let the stress get the better of us!!!

Do you guys have a lot of stress to contend with that could be affecting your realtionship?