I got pregnant and I don't know who the father is.

[chantelle26]

I went out on drinks with some friends one night. We were about 8 or maybe 10 in a group and we were in this club. So we just went dancing and we were all having fun. A foreign guy approached me and asked me out to dance with him and of course, I did. I mean, who would say no to a gorgeous guy, right? We kept drinking and dancing and the next morning, I just found myself lying in an unfamiliar bed and naked. I tried to look if somebody else was around but nobody was. A month later, I keep feeling dizzy and I keep vomiting. Panicked, I went on for a check-up where the doctor told me I was pregnant. I suddenly remembered waking up in that bed and I knew by then that whoever the guy I spent the night with is the father. However, who is he? I tried asking my friends and they seem to not know of what happened to us because everyone was drunk and wasted as hell. What do you think should I do?

 

[MissKW]

When you woke were you at a house? If so maybe go back and speak to the home owner? If it was a hotel maybe try to find out who made the booking? Otherwise I would probably go back to the club you met him at or search social media until you find him to be able to have a private discussion with him about the pregnancy. Good luck

 

[teachermummy]

Hi Chantelle, a stranger had unprotected sex with you while you were not in a position to consent to this, and left you alone and vulnerable in a strange place. Go to the police, this constitutes rape.
This should not affect you or the baby, but you need the police to track down this man who sexually assaulted you, and they will be able to get a medical history from him which is important for your baby's health.
Go to your doctor, get a sexual health check up, you will get checked for bloodborne viruses at your first midwife appointment.

I wish you the best of luck, and hope you have a good support system in place, if not please ask for help from the midwife when you get your appointment, you may need support to counsel your way through this.

 

[firstfreakout]

Hi Chantelle, a stranger had unprotected sex with you while you were not in a position to consent to this, and left you alone and vulnerable in a strange place. Go to the police, this constitutes rape.
This should not affect you or the baby, but you need the police to track down this man who sexually assaulted you, and they will be able to get a medical history from him which is important for your baby's health.
Go to your doctor, get a sexual health check up, you will get checked for bloodborne viruses at your first midwife appointment.

I wish you the best of luck, and hope you have a good support system in place, if not please ask for help from the midwife when you get your appointment, you may need support to counsel your way through this.

I agree with everything just said here. Although don’t expect a prosecution as there is no ‘evidence’ in the eyes of a court it wasn’t consensual. The system is shit yo. So you don’t have to worry about going through courts and prosecutions if you don’t want to, but definitely go to the police.

But what she said about the medical history and viruses is a must. Get yourself an std screen and hiv check too.
I’m sorry you’re in this situation good luck with everything

 

[chantelle26]

When you woke were you at a house? If so maybe go back and speak to the home owner? If it was a hotel maybe try to find out who made the booking? Otherwise I would probably go back to the club you met him at or search social media until you find him to be able to have a private discussion with him about the pregnancy. Good luck

I tried doing what you said but I can't seem to track him down through that. The guy left no trace.

 

[chantelle26]

Hi Chantelle, a stranger had unprotected sex with you while you were not in a position to consent to this, and left you alone and vulnerable in a strange place. Go to the police, this constitutes rape.
This should not affect you or the baby, but you need the police to track down this man who sexually assaulted you, and they will be able to get a medical history from him which is important for your baby's health.
Go to your doctor, get a sexual health check up, you will get checked for bloodborne viruses at your first midwife appointment.

I wish you the best of luck, and hope you have a good support system in place, if not please ask for help from the midwife when you get your appointment, you may need support to counsel your way through this.

I agree with everything just said here. Although don’t expect a prosecution as there is no ‘evidence’ in the eyes of a court it wasn’t consensual. The system is shit yo. So you don’t have to worry about going through courts and prosecutions if you don’t want to, but definitely go to the police.

But what she said about the medical history and viruses is a must. Get yourself an std screen and hiv check too.
I’m sorry you’re in this situation good luck with everything

Thank you so much for the advice. I'll try to do this.

 

[firstfreakout]

Hi Chantelle, a stranger had unprotected sex with you while you were not in a position to consent to this, and left you alone and vulnerable in a strange place. Go to the police, this constitutes rape.
This should not affect you or the baby, but you need the police to track down this man who sexually assaulted you, and they will be able to get a medical history from him which is important for your baby's health.
Go to your doctor, get a sexual health check up, you will get checked for bloodborne viruses at your first midwife appointment.

I wish you the best of luck, and hope you have a good support system in place, if not please ask for help from the midwife when you get your appointment, you may need support to counsel your way through this.

I agree with everything just said here. Although don’t expect a prosecution as there is no ‘evidence’ in the eyes of a court it wasn’t consensual. The system is shit yo. So you don’t have to worry about going through courts and prosecutions if you don’t want to, but definitely go to the police.

But what she said about the medical history and viruses is a must. Get yourself an std screen and hiv check too.
I’m sorry you’re in this situation good luck with everything

Thank you so much for the advice. I'll try to do this.

I hope everything works out for you. If there's anything you can remember about this guy definitely tell the police, because chances are he's done this before, or will again.

Hope you and baby are well and get through this. It can't be easy but you'll have each other. Best of luck x