I feel under threat...ex partner at it again

[Sophie_P]

Hi,

Most of you will know I was in a civil partnership with nt ex and had little Amelia via sperm donor. thibgs quickly went downhill, I was unhappy and left and took Amelia with me. I then met my now partner online and the ex had a Prohibited Steps Order issued and a Child Arrangements Order. Things have been going okay, but not perfect. However, me and Jojo have an immigration issue meaning she cannot live in the UK without me earning £18,600 per annum. Yesterday a local newspaper issued the story about it (we are campaigning) and someone tagged my ex in the article on the newspaprers Facebook page. Next minute, she is going ape saying awful things about me, apparantly going to take HER story global and it will come out what a bitch I am for leaving her. Y ex partners girlfriend was also slating me and calling me a bad mother.

One of my friends also sent a screenshot from December of her partner saying she will 'rip mr a new cun* if I don't watch myself. Bearing in mind these people are around my child and I am worried for my safety as well as Amelia's. What can I do? I have contacted the police and logged it.

The ex also sent me a text this afternoon to tell me her girlfriend received a letter about Amelia's jabs. they are bullying me and harrassing. It's making me sick with worry, there have also been posts accusing me of putting Amelia in ill fitting clothes and not feeding her.

My ex is on the birth certificate.

 

[Sophie_P]

Excuse the typos.

 

[juliekim0908]

You can go to the police. A friend of mine found out she was pregnant, her ex then left her and she was having non stop messages/harassment/telling her to get rid of baby etc etc..

She contacted her HV, who put her in touch with the right people. The police then went to her, got her story and visited her ex, telling him to stay away and not contact her. If this didn't work, she could have got it done officially.

At the end of the day, your feeling threatened, harassment, abusive language etc.. plenty of stuff to get an injunction. Hope things get better soon. xx

 

[Sophie_P]

Thank you.

Can I do this even though I have a Child Arrangements Order? She is supposed to be seeing Amelia on Monday, I feel anxious at the thought. I had to face them both alone when I picked Amelia up lastnight. She threatened me with going to the papers and taking me to court. She wants full custody.

 

[juliekim0908]

I wouldn't be able to tell you 100% .. I found a great website for this sort of thing. Ill just have a look for it now. x

 

[juliekim0908]

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domesti...handbook.asp?section=000100010008000100330002


Womans aid. Theres a free helpline on there too. Im sure they can give you all the advice and info you need. We used this to help our friend. xx

 

[Lyllian]

Women's Aid again, they will be able to.put you on touch with the right people. Keep evidence, screenwriter everything, keep all texts,don't delete your call log.

A lot of solicitors do 'first consultation free' deals. Get yourself along to one of those and get some legal advice.

 

[littlemonkey]

As well as going to the police, you can apply through the courts for protection from harassment order or notice. I cannot remember the exact wording. You can still have this notice if you have joint custody, it will basically stipulate that your ex is prohibited from contacting you outside of set times you would hand over your LO or that they are only allowed to contact you regarding your child. You would need to discuss this with a solicitor in the first instance.

The police can advise your ex about her behaviour. Providing there is sufficient evidence of harassment, she can be given a notice of intended prosecution, which basically tells her to stop it and if she does again, she can then potentially be arrested and charged with harassment. The police do advise to take action on your own through the courts as well as any action through themselves.

 

[Sophie_P]

I have a free session booked on Saturday. Also an appointment with the police. I feel so scared

 

[juliekim0908]

Try not to worry, your obviously going to feel scared, also in how your ex will react to all this. But that's what the people who your contacting/police are there for. They will protect you and your daughter.
All the luck in the world. Keep every bit of evidence you have.
Can always pop on here for a chat x

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

Oh hun it's so complicated. Deffo speak to the solicitor as to anything you can do. You can get an injunction order and should do. Also ask to go to court to have her order set aside as she is making it impossible to stick to. I'm really not sure how it works with same sex couples as your her mum and she isn't related in any way so there might be some drastic measures that can be taken to help you xxx

 

[JD.Deedee]

Getting full custody cost a couple of quid it's not that easy with young children so I've been told by a solicitor. Also delaying or not jabbing is not illegal.

Bullies thrive of fear, don't let them get to you! x

 

[H16]

Sorry you are having so much trouble with her, she sounds like a nightmare and you are better off without her if that is the kind of person she is hun. I'm not sure how the custody thing works with same sex couples but as someone else said surely you would have more rights as you are her biological mother? I would assume she would never get full custody as she is not blood related so I wouldn't worry to much about that threat. I would try and get some legal advice asap hun to try and get this situation under control and if she keeps harassing you I would definitely report her to the police x

 

[Sophie_P]

I had an appointment with the police officer, he wasn't much help, said it's logged, advised a solicitor and said harrassment is someone pitxhong a tent in your garden, not this. Grr.

 

[juliekim0908]

How stupid. Completely not how they took it by us. Have you contacted womans aid?

 

[Sophie_P]

I tried lastnight, but couldnt her through. I will try again tonight. I am goung for a solicitors appointment in an hour to see where I stand, so I will let you know. Thank you for your help.

 

[Mum2Many]

Good luck hun. Nobody deserves to feel this way and I totally would not want my child around someone like that.

 

[Sophie_P]

She said I cant do anything now, but urged me to go to doctors for antidepressants and anxiety to get legal aid, they are going to send a warning letter out to my ex partner to say if the abuse doesnt stop they will be giving me advice on a injunction order, she said I can push for contact centre if I wish, the judge will decide but does take the mums emotional wellbeing into consideration

 

[nicejuicypear]

Just to say about the same sex thing, she's got the same rights as a bio father because of your cp and the birth certificate. I just noticed some posters saying she might not have as much right, that's not the case.

There's some basic custody information on Natalie Gamble's website, but of course if your ex is harassing you, your solicitor needs to take steps to protect you and your child. The legalities shouldn't be any different because she's female.

I'd keep reporting things to the police to be logged, that police officer doesn't seem much good, it's clearly harassment, it doesn't have to be physically intimidating to be harassment!

 

[Sophie_P]

She hasn't got as much rights as me at all, I carried my baby for nine months. Even the solicitor said that it makes a big difference as I am Mum and have the primary bond.