Jadey
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- Joined
- Sep 4, 2011
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Hiya I used to be a member on this site a while back whilst I was pregnant with my Daughters. I was Jade89 but having problems logging in... anyhoo...
I split up with the girls Father when my youngest was about 6 weeks old due to alot of lies and him swearing down on his Daughters lives over something to tell me after that he had lied... as you do. I ended it and he had regular contact with his Daughters without major problems.
Problems started when he would have the girls whilst I went to work and he would come into my house, start an argument and leave without the girls resulting in me quitting my job before I would of gotten sacked for not turning in because I had no childcare.
Since then he picked our girls up and took them to the shops, and my eldest was bursting for the loo and she told him this. Instead of taking her into the chip shop, pub, petrol station or supermarket near by, he made her walk home resulting in her wetting herself.
As he was looking for more clothes for her in the utility room, i asked him if he was going to start paying my Mum some money off the £4,000 he owes her. He lost his temper and kicked the living room door open where I was standing with out two Daughters so my reflexes kicked in and I backed him away back into the utility room where he went to hit me but didn't and instead stormed off out without our children. Since then he threatened me and threatened to have people ''Knock me out''.
I stopped contact as I didn't think this behaviour was acceptable and he went to his solicitors, easy to do as at the time he wasn't working so could get legal aid. At that time I was on Income Support so could also get legal aid but it would take 3 weeks to gather all of my paper work together and my girls, despite everything he'd done, missed him. I offered to talk it through with him at my Mums house and offered contact again without going through solicitors. I only asked him not to take our girls to his girlfriends house for a couple of weeks whilst things settled down after a fight he'd been in over his girlfriend on a night out in case trouble went to her house. He kicked off at that saying I was unreasonable and finally agreed to it, but bang on 2 weeks later he was there asking to take them up to which I agreed so long he wasn't causing trouble and fighting.
Things were fine for a while, he had no job and his girlfriend has three kids and she was always paying for our kids and her kids to go places. I praised her to my family wondering how she does it being the only one who works in her house and they all went on holiday together for a week.
When they got back, the girls Dad came to me showing me a message from his girlfriend saying ''We have moved too fast, I want my own space'' etc... so I started to wonder if it was a stable relationship and felt a bit gutted if they weren't to sort things out because the girls enjoyed their time there. Anyways, they sorted things out and he moved back in and things were fine for a while longer.
Reciently a friend of mine told me about a facebook status his girlfriend had put on saying ''I wish some people would just disappear off the face of the earth'' and sombody commented ''what, like socks and teaspoons?'' and she replied ''if only it was that easy with ex's, mine and my boyfriends certainly wouldn't be missed'' and it started going on about hit men ''/ and people offering to 'sort me out' etc.. I got a screen shot of this.
I questioned my ex about it the next time he called me and he started hurling abuse down the phone at me like what his ex and her friends were going on about was normal. In the heat of the moment I said your attitude and temper is discusting don't come again.
In the meantime his girlfriend inboxed me saying ''what do you want? an apology???'' and we talked and I told her everything and she said well I don't suppose you care but I had my ex done for assault and battery on me infront of my children and he kicked my front door open with my Daughter behind it... Now im not sure if she wanted me feel sorry for her? but alarm bells were telling me ''Your kids go there!!''. I said they were not to go there again as I don't feel it's a safe place and that their Dad could have contact at one of my Family or his Family's address. With him living so far away he used to have them twice a every other week at his Brother's for tea because he lives quite a distance away, and it only started being every other week instead of every week because he dropped it on me that he'd got a job and had to work shifts... fair enough but our kids never saw any money off him from when he started working.
His girlfriend didn't like that I'd said they are not to go up there so accused me of harming my eldest Daughter. In May I spotted a bruise on my Daughters arm, like a hand print and I asked her about it and she said she didn't know where it had come from. I told the school about it and I told her Dad about it and the school said not to worry these bruises can occur by just picking her up from the floor or stopping her from falling etc..
His girlfriends message to me was ''I knew I should of done something when (my daughter) came to us with a bruise on her arm! That's child abuse! You want to throw accusations around, so can I!'' I never accused her of anything I just said my children were not to go up there. They seem to think that the bruise happened sometime in December last year because they said the kids weren't even in school at the time, questioning how I have got back up of teachers if they weren't in school. In December, him and his girlfriend weren't even together!
A day after my youngest Daughters 2nd birthday, the police came to my door questioning me about this bruise and they told me that my ex and her partner had called them. I told the police that I spotted the bruise, I informed the school and they told me not to worry and I also informed her Dad too. The police were satisfied that I hadn't harmed my Daughter and told me to get a solicitor.
I got a solicitor and told her everything and in the meantime had a letter from his solicitor saying I have stopped him seing them over a misunderstanding on facebook ''/ if only it was just about that!
It has been a month he's not seen them for and even though we are going through solicitors I have offered him contact and he's only come and seen them today at his Sisters house. After what his girlfriend accused me of, the conditions were he was to spend some quality time alone with them. 12pm comes, his sister picks them up and takes them to where she lives a few doors away and my ex and his girlfriend come walking down the street. Hello? Conditions?
I knocked on his sisters door and had a word with him and he just said talk to my solicitor! She hasn't accused you of nothing! Then why did the police come to my door?
I'm now at my Mums fuming that he's abused this offer and I don't know what to do
I go to see my solicitor again on 9th September. If he's having contact with his children at his Sisters house then does anyone know what will happen through solicitors and courts?
I do not want her around my children, it's nothing to do with jealousy, I have never had a problem before everything was going fine but to be accused of hurting my Daughter and having the police at my house. I kept everything from my Daughters so they didn't have to hear it, then they had to hear it from a police officer. I'm not sure if they thought i'd get arrested there and then or social services would come and take my kids away and give them to them? I really don't know. I have had no visits from social services though and my health visitor said she hasn't had anything her end about it so the police must have been satisfied.
I have got to go now and sorry it's a long post but i'd appreciate any advice as to what i'm to expect?
Thank you for listening
xx
I split up with the girls Father when my youngest was about 6 weeks old due to alot of lies and him swearing down on his Daughters lives over something to tell me after that he had lied... as you do. I ended it and he had regular contact with his Daughters without major problems.
Problems started when he would have the girls whilst I went to work and he would come into my house, start an argument and leave without the girls resulting in me quitting my job before I would of gotten sacked for not turning in because I had no childcare.
Since then he picked our girls up and took them to the shops, and my eldest was bursting for the loo and she told him this. Instead of taking her into the chip shop, pub, petrol station or supermarket near by, he made her walk home resulting in her wetting herself.
As he was looking for more clothes for her in the utility room, i asked him if he was going to start paying my Mum some money off the £4,000 he owes her. He lost his temper and kicked the living room door open where I was standing with out two Daughters so my reflexes kicked in and I backed him away back into the utility room where he went to hit me but didn't and instead stormed off out without our children. Since then he threatened me and threatened to have people ''Knock me out''.
I stopped contact as I didn't think this behaviour was acceptable and he went to his solicitors, easy to do as at the time he wasn't working so could get legal aid. At that time I was on Income Support so could also get legal aid but it would take 3 weeks to gather all of my paper work together and my girls, despite everything he'd done, missed him. I offered to talk it through with him at my Mums house and offered contact again without going through solicitors. I only asked him not to take our girls to his girlfriends house for a couple of weeks whilst things settled down after a fight he'd been in over his girlfriend on a night out in case trouble went to her house. He kicked off at that saying I was unreasonable and finally agreed to it, but bang on 2 weeks later he was there asking to take them up to which I agreed so long he wasn't causing trouble and fighting.
Things were fine for a while, he had no job and his girlfriend has three kids and she was always paying for our kids and her kids to go places. I praised her to my family wondering how she does it being the only one who works in her house and they all went on holiday together for a week.
When they got back, the girls Dad came to me showing me a message from his girlfriend saying ''We have moved too fast, I want my own space'' etc... so I started to wonder if it was a stable relationship and felt a bit gutted if they weren't to sort things out because the girls enjoyed their time there. Anyways, they sorted things out and he moved back in and things were fine for a while longer.
Reciently a friend of mine told me about a facebook status his girlfriend had put on saying ''I wish some people would just disappear off the face of the earth'' and sombody commented ''what, like socks and teaspoons?'' and she replied ''if only it was that easy with ex's, mine and my boyfriends certainly wouldn't be missed'' and it started going on about hit men ''/ and people offering to 'sort me out' etc.. I got a screen shot of this.
I questioned my ex about it the next time he called me and he started hurling abuse down the phone at me like what his ex and her friends were going on about was normal. In the heat of the moment I said your attitude and temper is discusting don't come again.
In the meantime his girlfriend inboxed me saying ''what do you want? an apology???'' and we talked and I told her everything and she said well I don't suppose you care but I had my ex done for assault and battery on me infront of my children and he kicked my front door open with my Daughter behind it... Now im not sure if she wanted me feel sorry for her? but alarm bells were telling me ''Your kids go there!!''. I said they were not to go there again as I don't feel it's a safe place and that their Dad could have contact at one of my Family or his Family's address. With him living so far away he used to have them twice a every other week at his Brother's for tea because he lives quite a distance away, and it only started being every other week instead of every week because he dropped it on me that he'd got a job and had to work shifts... fair enough but our kids never saw any money off him from when he started working.
His girlfriend didn't like that I'd said they are not to go up there so accused me of harming my eldest Daughter. In May I spotted a bruise on my Daughters arm, like a hand print and I asked her about it and she said she didn't know where it had come from. I told the school about it and I told her Dad about it and the school said not to worry these bruises can occur by just picking her up from the floor or stopping her from falling etc..
His girlfriends message to me was ''I knew I should of done something when (my daughter) came to us with a bruise on her arm! That's child abuse! You want to throw accusations around, so can I!'' I never accused her of anything I just said my children were not to go up there. They seem to think that the bruise happened sometime in December last year because they said the kids weren't even in school at the time, questioning how I have got back up of teachers if they weren't in school. In December, him and his girlfriend weren't even together!
A day after my youngest Daughters 2nd birthday, the police came to my door questioning me about this bruise and they told me that my ex and her partner had called them. I told the police that I spotted the bruise, I informed the school and they told me not to worry and I also informed her Dad too. The police were satisfied that I hadn't harmed my Daughter and told me to get a solicitor.
I got a solicitor and told her everything and in the meantime had a letter from his solicitor saying I have stopped him seing them over a misunderstanding on facebook ''/ if only it was just about that!
It has been a month he's not seen them for and even though we are going through solicitors I have offered him contact and he's only come and seen them today at his Sisters house. After what his girlfriend accused me of, the conditions were he was to spend some quality time alone with them. 12pm comes, his sister picks them up and takes them to where she lives a few doors away and my ex and his girlfriend come walking down the street. Hello? Conditions?
I knocked on his sisters door and had a word with him and he just said talk to my solicitor! She hasn't accused you of nothing! Then why did the police come to my door?
I'm now at my Mums fuming that he's abused this offer and I don't know what to do
I go to see my solicitor again on 9th September. If he's having contact with his children at his Sisters house then does anyone know what will happen through solicitors and courts?
I do not want her around my children, it's nothing to do with jealousy, I have never had a problem before everything was going fine but to be accused of hurting my Daughter and having the police at my house. I kept everything from my Daughters so they didn't have to hear it, then they had to hear it from a police officer. I'm not sure if they thought i'd get arrested there and then or social services would come and take my kids away and give them to them? I really don't know. I have had no visits from social services though and my health visitor said she hasn't had anything her end about it so the police must have been satisfied.
I have got to go now and sorry it's a long post but i'd appreciate any advice as to what i'm to expect?
Thank you for listening
xx
