sister argument update - *Suicide Threat* post 7

[Geminiblue]

well I received an email saying that she wanted to draw a line under it, that we were not to discuss her ex anymore as it was clearly causing problems.

I responded that I too wished to draw a line under it BUT the fact was that it wasnt about her ex, or how she dealt with her ex it was about her attitude and hows shes treated me recently and how she spoke to me.

Apparently my mum said shed burst into tears at my response, now I had been direct but in no way was I horrible i just explained the reason I was upset and how I felt.

so my mum is saying "I dont know what you want to achieve" I was like, er Im going to tell the truth, I am not going to pretend that its because of something when its not, otherwise the same issue will still arise. Whats wrong with people why cant I say whats upsetting me, why am I in the wrong for that?? I told her if she wanted to carry on sweeping it under the carpet but thats been the problem for her entire life, people enabling her and not speaking out against her narky selffish attitude

 

[BevG]

i totally agree with what you did, a lot of ppl would just fold for a quiet life but it never solves anything and if your really fed up of it id keep being direct. its not nasty to tell the truth and if she cant handle it she dosent have to speak to you

 

[dyscochick]

I agree with Bev, it sounds like this has rumbled on for so long if you give in to her it will be about something else next time as she doesn't seem to really understand the key issues in your relationship. Hope you can talk it out with her xx

 

[Geminiblue]

my mum understands now and Ive made it clear that I dont want to discuss it anymore. My sister was the one Ithought would be there to support me in my last days of pregnancy and im due today and still shes not contacted so Im done really. My mum understands that I feel she has enabled my sister but that she is also her daughter and she will support us both which is fine by me I understand that.

xxx

 

[LaurenMM]

Hey hun, I can totally relate to your situation. I love my family to bits BUT my mum and sister are two of the most selfish, inconsiderate people ever. I know that sounds harsh but its true. My sister is all memememememe all the time too. Neither of them supported me when we found out we were moving to Ireland in Feb. Same as when I found out I was pregnant and its been the same throughout my entire pregnancy. I can't talk about sometimes because it upsets me so much; that I've basically been forgotten about since I moved away and even when I was there, it was always about them. I'm really sorry you're going through this, I'm no good with advice because I'd say to cut all ties but I know its not easy when you've been treated unfairly and feel you want to have your say and they are your family after all. Just wanted to say I get it and its not nice and I feel for you hun xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Geminiblue]

thank you hun, its horrible hey. My mum came round yesterday and said "oh Claire called me earlier" and I just changed the subject. Whats hard is that I normally would contact and put things to rest and move on but I just dont want to, I dont want to talk to her or about her until such time that she apologises and I know I cant hold my breath. Sad isnt it, but I hve my family, my husband and my son and this baby on the way and my mum stepdad and OHs family have been nice so we're fortunate for that much.
Im sorry youve had to experience this too its horrible hey xxx

 

[Geminiblue]

so I knew it was going to happen to be honest BUT...her ex has damaged his achillies tendon playing football..a) hes 40 yrs old b) he is the main bread winner... so my mum is all in the air as she employs him, my sister is all inthe air as what impact does it have on her finances and supporting their child...

So on the phone she says to my mum "Oh Im going to just end it and jump off the nearest bridge" my mum got upset and said she was going over but that calmed my sister down and she said she was ok...

had a chat with my mum and told her to chill out and stop jumping on the emotional roller coaster with her and that they dont know the impact of the accident yet so its all unknown. Have given in and text my sister saying "looking we'll deal with our issues another time but you cant going threatening to throw yourself of bridges, for one youve scared the life out of mum and two, I will comekill you myself if you carry on with this shyte, call me later when youre free" so Ive left it at that. Shes threatened this in the past a few times normally when off her meds so...here we are again back on the merry go round with me trying not to buy into it all!!!

 

[dyscochick]

thats really tough when they start pulling that. my best friend started doing that and it was awful. She'd call me drunk in the middle of the night leaving messages about stepping in front of a train and i'd panic in the morning and when I'd finally speak to her she'd often not remember, but i wouldn't have forgiven myself if she'd done anything. Is she on meds now? what does he do, will it stop hm working if his achilles is badly hurt? I hope they find out soon so that imaginations aren't running riot for too long. your sis really does do drama queen doesn't she. Just don't stress yourself out too much hun, you've got a lot on your own plate right now xxx

 

[Geminiblue]

hey dysco - yes shes on meds most of the time but just cant be arsed to take them a lot, hit and miss most days and says she just forgets even though Ive bought her a dossett box (box with days on) and she doesnt use it...

her ex if off for about 6 weeks!!! which is slightly different to 4-6 months isnt it!!! yes drama queen and then as you say you wouldnt forgive yourself if you ignored it hey, and I feel bad for her but then I get angry.

its must be hard with your friend too xxx