I feel so stupid! (again)

[jenna]

Was my first day back after a week off work. The first email i read was that a "friend" of mine from work is expecting a baby. I was so upset. I didnt want to talk to him or see him. I feel so stupid, i ignored him and ran to the toilets to cry just because he said "good morning" to me. Im so gelous and disapointed and he was so happy and i want us to feel like that . I was really starting to think this was my month and it wasnt but she got her BFP this month, im happy for them but when i see how happy he is i feel like crying. Just keep thinking that that could be my husband. I was sat at my PC with tears in my eyes all day. I feel like a right prat.
am i the only person that feels like this around pregnant people?

 

[Emma22]

no jenna hun your not, i felt like that when i found out our close friends had got pg after just 3 months and they wasnt even trying properly im sorry your feeling so down, try and stay positive

 

[Hypnorm]

No you're not alone. I should be grateful as i have one wonderful boy, and we are ttc no.2 its been 5 months so far, and i am about due AF soon, i really hope i don't get it and that it will be a bfp, but will have to wait and see - i wanted kids close together but as the months go by the age gap is getting bigger.

hope October is your month.

 

[jenna]

No you're not alone. I should be grateful as i have one wonderful boy, and we are ttc no.2 its been 5 months so far, and i am about due AF soon, i really hope i don't get it and that it will be a bfp, but will have to wait and see - i wanted kids close together but as the months go by the age gap is getting bigger.

hope October is your month.

i hope you get your BFP too. I dont want to sound like a nob head or anything and i know we all have our dreams when it comes to families... but we havnt had one...and the longer it takes the more worried i get that i wont be able to have kids with the man i love. Its all iv wanted since i was a little girl. He has a doctors apointment on friday so i will know then wether or now his operations will effect us having a child. i know its still heart breaking but once youve had one child you know you can make them. Im thinking all sorts of stupid stuff at the moment.

 

[Andrianne]

awww Jenna

Hun, you're SO young, you've only been trying for 3 months, don't lose hope, it WILL happen

It's only natural that you feel jealous, I think every woman ttc would be feeling jealous... Perhaps this colleague's OH was feeling jealous of other pregnant women before her BFP, you know? They may even have been trying for a lot longer than you think.

Does this "friend" know you're trying? Maybe you could discuss it with him? (unless you don't want to, don't know what kind of relationship you have with him).

My point is, try and keep positive, instead of thinking "this is never gonna happen for me" think "I can't wait till it happens for me". No "this could have been my husband" but "this will be my husband's face when I get my BFP". You have no reason not to be positive...

Another point (sorry this is getting so long) is that your last cycles seem to be longer than expected, therefore you could be ovulating later than you think and BD on the wrong days. Remember I suggested you started charting? It could help you pinpoint your fertile days and calculate your LP and your due date... Give it a try babe

Didn't mean to upset you with any of the things I said. I'm not in your shoes at the moment so I don't really know how it feels but as I'm standing outside I have a different perspective on things, don't give up and don't lose faith.

best of wishes. hope you feel better soon

xxx

 

[Andrianne]

Ok i see you have some reason there to be worried about, your OH's operations. So i hope doc's appointment on Friday goes well (i'm pretty sure everything will be fine) and that this will put your mind at rest

xxx

 

[Peanut]

Hi Jenna

No you're not the only one....I used to get tearful and resentful at the gmtv weather girl for gods sake.

People I know and love were worse . I never told them that I was ttc though....and actually they were never shoving it in my face, I just felt really useless.

And I felt so old and like my eggs were drying up. Don't give up. That's easy for me to say I know. If it's any consolation I'm so nervous about another mc.

Your time will come
Pea x

 

[gem44_4]

Hiya Jenna

I'm sure (or should i say i hope) it's completely normal to feel jealous of other pregnent women.

Since i had my miscarriage last November there have been 6 (yes 6) women that i work with who have fell pregnant and i just can't talk to them anymore. If they start talking about scans or due dates i just have to pretend i'm busy and i can't even bring myself to ask if they are ok.

Anyway, my AF is due on sunday and have had a few symptoms that others have said they had when pregnant (vivid dreams, thrush and peeing loads). But, not holding out much hope as seem to convince myself i have syptoms every month.

Good luck with everything

Gem xx

 

[Rubys mummy]

Jen

we were ttc for nearly 2 years and I was so desperate to be a mummy, have been broody since I was 18 and I am now 34!!!
My sister was ttcing for 4 months and got pregnant, I should of been happy for them but I was so upset, no one knew we had been trying as we didnt want anyone to feel sorry for us when we didnt concieve each month or put pressure on ourselves....
As it turned out I fell pregnant soon after her, and our babies are due three weeks apart, but i will always feel guilty for being so jealous of her happiness...Its natural I guess

Dont be so hard on yourself sweetie, it WILL happen for you, the more relaxed your are the better chance you will have...we went on holiday to Scotland to give ourselves a break, drank lots of wine, walked lots and enjoyed making love instead of making babies, and wham, we got back to a BFP!! No one was more amazed than me

Good luck friday, but please please dont feel bad on yourself, take a deep breath, smile even though your heart is breaking and I promise that it will be YOU with the good news soon xx

 

[jenna]

thanks every one.
A few friends at work know im TTC but im not that close to him and we only talk about vague stuff so wouldnt introduce him as a friend thats why i put "friend". He just talks to me every day but it sempt like he was in my face all day today (which i was imagining). i dont think id be comfortable explaining to him about why im ignoring him and looking upset all the time! One of my closest friends at work is best friends with him though and she might explain it to him if he asks her.
I keep feeling positive this time of the month (just after my period) until about a week before my AF is due and then i get really worried and upset and start imagining symptoms. My periods have been a lot shorter recently too. Im not going to even look when my next period is due so i dont start worrying...ill just keep myself busy and try not to think about it.

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

I know how you feel hun it is so hard and its always on your mind.
My friend is 6 months preg another just found out she is 6 weeks pregnant and now my other friend my step brothers gf is in the clinic cuz she is a week late ill be surrounded by them. which will just make me want one more
Good luck hun you will get your baby soon.
Katrina

 

[beatlesbaby66]

oh honey, your being so hard on yourself...i found it the most heartbreaking thing when someone told me they were pregnant or talked about someone who was pregnant.....i could be physically sick when someone was talking about scans or if they brought their baby into work (2 have been in office since my mc)) and i broke my heart every time....i broke down in the park this month too cause i felt so bad for being jealous of other people and their babies or bumps....
hugs and cuddles to you my darling, it is the hardest thing in the world, but try and relax, the more you worry the harder it will be for you...you have a lot of friends on hear who are always here for a rant or just to listen..

take care babe
bxox

 

[Bec]

Hi Jenna,

As all the others have said ... it's completely normal to feel like that. I've been TTC since February and still nothing ... I'm 32 and worried that I'm getting too old .... I too have never had children before so this would be our 1st. I got married in January and we started trying as soon as we got back from honeymoon .. just a few days later my brother called and told me his gf is pg ... is was an accident..... then in May the day before my AF showed up a close friend of mine told me she was pg (none of the above know we are TTC) ..... then 3 weeks ago my very best friend has got her BFP .... she's been TTC for the same amount of time as me .... I was SOOO happy for her, but I had to rush off to the loo at work and cry!!!! Completely gutted.

So there are thousands of us out there in the same boat .. and we all know how you feel ... as Andrianne said (very wise words) .. we have to just look forward to WHEN we get our BFP ... not IF......

Good luck for your DH at the Docs ...

Chin up

 

[jenna]

Thanks every one. I guess i feel better about it all. still get a bit upset when people talk about it, but it will be us one day

 

[Andrianne]

Glad to see you feeling better Jenna! it WILL be you one day - as well as Bec's and everyone else's

Take care hun
xxx

 

[Bec]

Glad to see you feeling better Jenna! it WILL be you one day - as well as Bec's and everyone else's

Take care hun
xxx

Thanks .... good to know someone has faith in me