I feel like I cant enjoy him :(

[x-kirsty-x]

Ryan is 7 weeks today and up until a few weeks ago he was just like a normal newborn, sleeping most of the time, feeding then going back to sleep.

For the past few weeks though he's just changed, when he's not feeding he's awake and twisty. He just seems so restless all the time. I dont think its wind cos he always brings it up and his cry isnt like a painful one, just restless. By the time I get him back off to sleep its almost time for his next bottle.

He started smiling at about 4-5 weeks but hardly does it now which makes me think Im not giving him what he needs. He seems more unsettled in the mornings and from about 7pm onwards. I dont think its colic cos he doesnt cry for hours on end.

I dont know what to do anymore, I just want him to be like other babies, smiling and stuff. I feel like Im doing something wrong all the time cos I dont know what he wants. I actually dread getting up in the morning cos I just know Im gonna spend all day trying to keep him happy. Is this a sign of PND cos Im having a really tough time with everything at the minute, I sit and cry cos Im so stressed out and I keep snapping at everyone.

I honestly think Im doing a pretty shit job of being a mum this time round

 

[missac]

You are definietly not doing a shit job, you are just tired. It could be pnd and is probably worth speaking to your hv but it could be a bit of the baby blues.

I found Thomas to be quite a restless baby and have to admit that he does cry a lot which made me think that I was being crap, and I didn't think he was smiling as much as he should be but as the weeks go on he is smiling a lot more and finding that he can play about on his activities without having to cry. If you look on the here I am thread I thought Thomas didn't love me at one point and felt awful, I think we all go through it at some point!

One thing I noticed was that he was a nightmare in the evenings and no fun for anyone, it suddenly dawned on me that he was tired so at about four weeks we started getting him to go to bed at 8, this has now got down to half six and he is a much happier soul so am I as that little break in the evening is just a lifesaver!

Ryan is coming to a point now where he might be interseted in doing things, I move Thomas from each of his toys, he has some time on his bouncer then on his gym then his swing. He also likes to lie on his changing mat in the nursery and kick about with me singin to him - try doing this for half an hour and you will feel a lot happoer in yourself as you have had some bonding time. What about baby massage? I know things are a bit more difficult for you as you also have your other little boy.

Think of tomorrow as a new day, wipe the slate clean of all your down thoughts and spend some quality time with your boys, remember that they love you more than anyone else in the world you are their Mummy and nothing can change that and no amount of bad days and irriability will make them love you any less.

And by the way as an extra boost - from your pictures, you are stunning, a proper yummy mummy and don't forget it!!

 

[budge]

Ryan is 7 weeks today and up until a few weeks ago he was just like a normal newborn, sleeping most of the time, feeding then going back to sleep.

For the past few weeks though he's just changed, when he's not feeding he's awake and twisty. He just seems so restless all the time. I dont think its wind cos he always brings it up and his cry isnt like a painful one, just restless. By the time I get him back off to sleep its almost time for his next bottle.

He started smiling at about 4-5 weeks but hardly does it now which makes me think Im not giving him what he needs. He seems more unsettled in the mornings and from about 7pm onwards. I dont think its colic cos he doesnt cry for hours on end.

I dont know what to do anymore, I just want him to be like other babies, smiling and stuff. I feel like Im doing something wrong all the time cos I dont know what he wants. I actually dread getting up in the morning cos I just know Im gonna spend all day trying to keep him happy. Is this a sign of PND cos Im having a really tough time with everything at the minute, I sit and cry cos Im so stressed out and I keep snapping at everyone.

I honestly think Im doing a pretty sh*t job of being a mum this time round

when he wakes up he might not want to feed then go back to sleep. He might want to talk to you.
have you tried laying him on your lap in front of you cradling his head in your hands so that he is looking at you and talking to him? They start talking back eventually.
He might like that.
also do you have a rug or something that he can lay on on he floor? place some shiny toys around him to look at and he might renjoy laying there for a while
Try walking around with him showing him around the house. I know it sounds abit daft but they do like it

 

[x-kirsty-x]

Thank you both so much Im gonna give your suggestions a go tomorrow and hopefully I'll feel a bit more positive

Its just cos when Josh was a baby he was textbook, never cried, developed his own routine and things were really easy. Its loads harder this time and Im getting myself stressed out trying to make things perfect.

I think I'll have to learn to chill out a bit

 

[budge]

Thank you both so much Im gonna give your suggestions a go tomorrow and hopefully I'll feel a bit more positive

Its just cos when Josh was a baby he was textbook, never cried, developed his own routine and things were really easy. Its loads harder this time and Im getting myself stressed out trying to make things perfect.

I think I'll have to learn to chill out a bit

yeah they do start getting more demanding as time goes on.
try and relax and you'll find he is ore relaxed as a result.

 

[Gemma & Jake]

If all else fails try infacol and see if it makes a difference.

 

[SarahB]

I hope things get better for you soon xx

 

[sam96031]

with regards to shiny toys on the floor when emma was younger and unsettled i use dto put her on the floor on this mat i made, i had some old wrapping paper it was black and white circles and then covered it in sticky back plastic

and she loved it also black and white is supposed to be stimulating

 

[Redshoes]

Wanted to send lots of hugs kirsty I'm sure you and Ryan will find what works for you both just fine real soon It's a lot of trial and error with these babies isn't it, and sometimes they like one thing then they don't Very best wishes, you're doing just great

 

[Emmylou]

I sometimes feel like this with L, I try to do what I can to keep her occupied & entertained when I can.
I let her kick around on her blanket, show her different toys, walk her around the house looking in all the different mirrors, lay her on our bed and lie next to her chatting to her about random stuff.
When she gets grumpy I try all sorts of distraction techniques, change her nappy, move her to a different room, sing to her etc until something works to make her smile again.
Its hard isn't it, but so worth it when you do get a smile as you've darn well earnt it