I cant do this anymore

[Alfiesmummy]

I cant cope anymore, I dont know where I am going wrong what it is im doing because Iv tried EVERYTHING. Alfie is just so unhappy he doesnt stop wingeing and crying and hes so upset and moody all the time, I did think it was his teeth but this has been going on for so long now and still no sign I did think I felt something yesterday as his gums were hard but now nothing.

I do everything I cam to help him and im exhausting myself, and getting nowhere, he either wants constantly carrying at t 20lbs 7oz its harder than it looks, i take him for walks but i cant stay out all day 1.)i cant afford it 2)theres nowhere to go. he has 3 meals, milk and he has his juice, hes having meds for teething i play with him i try to give him his own space he has regular naps and nppy changes he hasnt got a sore bum but i dont know what im doing wrong at all, i only come on here when he is napping or when hes in bed for the night so it isnt a lack of attention from me.

I know he is very forward for his age wanting to do things he cant but he gets even more angry when i help him. I cant believe im wingeing so many people would love a baby so much and all i do is complain but im finding it so hard to cope alone my family live away ians been away for almost 2 weeks. its just me and alfie and its getting too much.

The only conclusion i can come to is i must be doing something wrong he must really hate me and i cant bare the thought he does. I dont know what more i can do for alfie anymore i think maybe im just a bad mummy and he would benefit being away from me.

 

[mary70]

hi hun don't dispare hannah was just like this at his age and i was pulling my hair out, but as soon as she could get around better things sarted to improve.
i also found out that i had pnd so was put on anti d's and this made things much better, maybe go and have a word with your doctor.

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

Aw hun

You ARE NOT a bad mummy

Your a fab one.... it probably is a alfies teeth plus a little bit of frustration in the fact that he wants to do more...

have you tried going to baby gym (its a soft play area where he can roll everywhere)

I'm havin the same problems hun.... keeley is at the inbetween stage where she has been sittin up for about 2 months now she bum shuffles sometimes but she wants to be walkin or standin... when she has her bottle she wants to be standin

It will get better (wel i'm hoping it will )

if you ever wanna rant to me i'm always on msn

But remember hun you are not a bad mum your a bloody great one

 

[Melanie]

Oh Steph, hun Alfie doesnt hate you, your his mummy he loves you more than anything else in the whole world sweetie.

Can you drop in to your local baby clinic and have a word with a HV about how unhappy Alfie seems lately? If this mood change has happened all of a sudden there might be a reason for it that they can help with hun.

You are not a bad mummy Steph you are just going through s rough patch with your little boy. It would get to anyone.

 

[mum2A&L]

aww hun

you are not a bad mummy! I agree with mel, speak to your hv.

 

[budge]

I cant cope anymore, I dont know where I am going wrong what it is im doing because Iv tried EVERYTHING. Alfie is just so unhappy he doesnt stop wingeing and crying and hes so upset and moody all the time, I did think it was his teeth but this has been going on for so long now and still no sign I did think I felt something yesterday as his gums were hard but now nothing.

I do everything I cam to help him and im exhausting myself, and getting nowhere, he either wants constantly carrying at t 20lbs 7oz its harder than it looks, i take him for walks but i cant stay out all day 1.)i cant afford it 2)theres nowhere to go. he has 3 meals, milk and he has his juice, hes having meds for teething i play with him i try to give him his own space he has regular naps and nppy changes he hasnt got a sore bum but i dont know what im doing wrong at all, i only come on here when he is napping or when hes in bed for the night so it isnt a lack of attention from me.

I know he is very forward for his age wanting to do things he cant but he gets even more angry when i help him. I cant believe im wingeing so many people would love a baby so much and all i do is complain but im finding it so hard to cope alone my family live away ians been away for almost 2 weeks. its just me and alfie and its getting too much.

The only conclusion i can come to is i must be doing something wrong he must really hate me and i cant bare the thought he does. I dont know what more i can do for alfie anymore i think maybe im just a bad mummy and he would benefit being away from me.

**slaps speph around the face with a soggy wet tuna fish**

in what way will alfie benefit from being away from his mother?? He loves you and you love him and thats the reason you haven't ragged him around the room by now in exasperation.
If im feeling down i go to a playgroup and have a cuppa and a natter with others in the same boat. is there any where you are?
hugs from me!

ps
don't talk to your HV unless you really think you are going to harm alfie or yourself.
Once they are involved thats it - they never fook off

 

[SarahH]

You are defo not a bad mummy!! You are a great one. It probably is teething as it can take awhile for them to come through.
Have you tried the Ashton & Parson powders... or that other ones that have been mentioned alot (although the name escapes me now!)

I know how you feel about being by yourself with Iain being away. My hubby is away alot with his work and it does get sooo tiring. And Alfie sounds like he's the Mr Independant to match Arianna's Miss Independant!! Wants to do everything for themself, but just can't do it and when you help.... god help you!!

Is there any groups you could go to with him. I used to take Arianna to a music group, it was for babies from 6wks old and cost £1.50 a week and included tea/coffee and a chance to yap to the other mothers. The kiddies were given little drums and rattles to play with and it tired Arianna out no end giving me some "me" time.

It will get better hun.... I'm on MSN too, so you can chat anytime if you like!

 

[Charlotte & Emily]

i dont really know what it could be, but as others have said, it could be a whole mixture of little things and they are making one big problem.

You are a great mummy and alfie loves u 2 bits! You arent doing anything wrong and he knows u are trying your best

It will get better hun

 

[Alfiesmummy]

you girls are supposed to be making me feel better not making me cry with your lovely comments ... and Budge i cant get the smell of wet tuna out of my skin now people have been giving me funny looks all day.

I went to see my HV as i get on very well with her and we had a chat i said i was feeling really down etc and told her about alfie and then she stuck her finger in his mouth and said his first tooth is actually cutting ... along with about 4 more ... no wonder the poor little monkey is upset i think thats enough to get anyone down, 5 teeth all at once, she said they will appear any day now but be prepared as they may still take a couple weeks but certainately not long now. she asked how i was and said exhausted mentally etc and we spoke about pnd (my HV knows me quite well) and after about half an hour with her and seeing me with Alfie her diagnosis is she thinks that im about as depressed as Bobo the clown (her words) she says she doesnt see traits of PND in me and thinks that im just a mum whose having a rough few days with a little boy thats having problems cutting teeth she wants me to call her tomorrow (i think because she wants to make sure i havent throttled him) and just said that i shouldnt let things get on top of me and should give her a ring or she'll pop round for a brew if i need it. Then before i left she said if she does come to visit to make sure i had milk in (as i dont drinkk tea/coffee and forget about everyone else so dont buy milk. im feeling a bit better knowing it is defineatwely his teeth i think it was thinking that he was just unhappy that got to me but knowing that im not crazy they are coming through is fine .... sorry again ladies

 

[happy-chick]

Steph!!!! U are a wonderful mother I have so much admiration for you and have often wondered how u do it!

Keep ur chin up babe, you've got a wonderful little family there and your so lucky to have that. You all seem very happy Alfie is probably frustrated because he cant do things he wants to and also his teeth are bothering him. Im sure once his teeth are through you will see a big improvement!

U know where I am if u need me! xxxxx

 

[MissGobby]

Now you listen here Steph!!!! you are a FANTASTIC mummy and Alfie knows that!!!!

i agree with Jo, Alfie is just probably frustrated that he cant do things he wants to and also with his teething!!!!

i admire you Steph i really do, you are such a wonderful mummy and Alfie is lucky to have you!!!

if you need to talk please, you know where i am!!!

take care babes

 

[Tasha20]

Your a fab mummy

No wonder the poor little man is a winge, lol 5 teeth poor little man

I hope he gets those buggers thru soon and you can be a happy mummy and bubba again

 

[Alfiesmummy]

lol so do i tash its so frustrating. we are normally so close and i know what he wants but recently iv been going crazy just tyhinking there had to be another reason i know its hard for him but im actually rel;ieved it is his teeth as there is light at the end of the tunnel. i think im going to try letting him nap on me for his afternoon nap and carry him round the house in my sling. i think untill these little suckers come through we are going to have to be like siamese twins.

 

[Tasha20]

If that makes him happy then do that hun, the best thing for him is sleep when in pain, and it will tire him out anyway

 

[SarahB]

You're a fab mummy, hope his teeth come through soon

 

[jools221181]

I so hope those teeth come through soon! Hope you are feeling better now and a bit more positive! It must help now you know the reason!
Alfie loves his mummy very much and it's obvious from your posts that you couldn't possibly love your boy any more than you do and you are a wonderful mum!

 

[nathanmum]

everyone has weeks like this it awful and it makes you feel crap and then bang they snap out of it and everythings great.
nathan always used to get like this before he done something new ie crawling, walking, talking. it was like a build up of frustration and then once hed done what he wanted he was fine. is alfie crawling yet?
nathan to is very forward and is very adventurous i let him get on with it (unless hes in danger) thats the way he learns things take it easy itll get better, it must be a boy thing.
luckily nathan hasnt been to bad with his teeth, i hope alfies pop through soon

 

[Alfiesmummy]

everyone has weeks like this it awful and it makes you feel crap and then bang they snap out of it and everythings great.
nathan always used to get like this before he done something new ie crawling, walking, talking. it was like a build up of frustration and then once hed done what he wanted he was fine. is alfie crawling yet?
nathan to is very forward and is very adventurous i let him get on with it (unless hes in danger) thats the way he learns things take it easy itll get better, it must be a boy thing.
luckily nathan hasnt been to bad with his teeth, i hope alfies pop through soon

hey hun i would let alfie get on with it but he gets really wingey and upset because he cant do it, tbh now i think about it your right befopre he could roll over he was a little like this (not as bad because teeth are cutting now) and before he could sit up too, hes trying to pull himself up at the minute but his hand are too small to grip the couch etc, he isnt crawling an tbh i dont think he will, he rolls wherever he wants to get to or bumshuffles, i think the fact he cant quite get from lieing to sittin by himself drives him crazy too, feel more sane this afternoon and Tash you were spot on hes exhausted hes asleep now for the night, we had a lovely long cuddle and then he went down, i caught a flash of my cheeky soldier in those eyes before he zonked so hes still there bless him.

 

[mummykay]

aaaarw u poor thing, dont despair hun, he is just havin a rough time with those pesky toothy pegs!
when Jam is like that I no he will do somethin much worse later on in his life so i count my blessings now lol!