i cant cope :(

[Manda&Thomas]

well this is the first day ive looked after thomas alone with no-one else around or able to come round since he was 6 weeks old,
i cant cope ive had to put him in his cot in my room as im doing nothing but shouting at him
all he has done all morning is cry at me hes not hungry/cold/hot/got wind/or a dirty nappy on ive tried playing with him singing watching tv all sorts with him
hes tired but wont sleep as only his dad can settle him
if he was here he wouldnt be like this he hates me
im close to tears cause i cant even look after my own son i cant take him anywhere as we live in a town and there is nowhere to walk and the shops are packed on a thurs and dont have no money to go anywhere and everyone is to busy to come to see me
i dont no what to do hubby wont be home till atleast 2pm and i really dont no what to do till then
xx

 

[lfc_sarah]

Aw hun i dont have any advice sorry

Im sure he doesnt hate you though

 

[helsekia]

awww hun of course he doesnt hate you.hes probably a little upset by the change in routine if daddys not there thats all.youve done the right thing by allowing yourself a few minutes breathing space.give it a little time hun.is there no a surestart place you can go too?or phone your health visitor?friend?family member?go to the park?get a coffee in town?Im sure thomas doesnt hate you,babies can just be very trying sometimes.

 

[Manda&Thomas]

thanks the nearest surestart place is a 30min bus ride away, and my hv is a tit to be perfectly frank, i dont really have any friends who i can just call up and all my family are busy just at a complete loose end
xx

 

[kalia]

DD often grumps all evening (4-7) so I put her in the pushchair, facing out and sat up, give her some toys to chew on, take some dummies and walk. She falls asleep if she needs to and if she's awake she is usually content to look around or chew on things. If not I give her the dummy and it settles her. She doesn't like shops, I think the floors are too smooth. So we go for walks on the streets round about or sometimes do laps of the park. We do this for hours.

I hope it works for you! Remember to take some milk if you're not breast feeding.

 

[Manda&Thomas]

thanks hun i may try it later finaly managed to get him to sleep
just hope he sleeps for a while or atleast long enough for me to eat
im so tired and hungry (he woke me up 5 times lastnight crying in his sleep) i dont think thats helping

thanks all
xx

 

[helsekia]

it can be very isolating being a mum at times.it will take time for both of you to adjust and thats normal.has thomas settled at all now?does he have a favourite toy or blanket he could be amused by?dont stress yourself out hun and thats easy to say i know and we all have rough times and you will get things sorted dont worry.thomas will pick up on you being stressed and make him worse.of course he loves you your his mummy and therefore very special





oooo we crossed posts,glad hes sleeping now.you take care

 

[Emma58]

PM'd you hun x

 

[kalia]

I'm glad he's sleeping.
I hope you get lots of food and rest

 

[Babylicious]

I feel the same at the moment, constant screaming at me, my heads pounding

 

[Redshoes]

Routine is more important than we realise for lo's so I'm certain that in itself will have him a little grumpy (although grumpy seems a polite way of putting it, I know when Isaac has a grumpy stage its constant crying and whinging and would try the patience of a saint!). He doesn't hate you at all, he just knows he's safe to be upset with you, he knows you will be there and care for him, you are his Mummy, and he loves you

I spend a LOT of time alone with Isaac, and now Ophelia, and I find it can have its hard times, what I do is plan days out for us, whether that be shopping, visiting a friend/family, going to the park with the dog, that in itself gives you something to focus on on a bad day, you know the day will pass and the day out you've planned will be a breath of fresh air

You said its the first time ever you're alone, so know that you both have to adjust to that and you both will find as time passes you'll start to enjoy each other and create a new, special bond which is yours alone. As for sleeping, have you tried to lay down with him? If he's really tired he;s going to get mre grumpy, he does need to nap, so have the room dark, maybe take some light toys to bed too, lo's love lights in the bedroom, invest in a torch etc get all snug with him and see if he drifts off, and stay with him, you'll both feel closer and more rested for it

Very very best wishes, sorry such a long post, but I know the 'can't cope' feeling, its not that you can't at all, give yourself time, and find support for when you need it, there will always be here, and get friends/family to be on the end of a call or text for you, let them know you may need them, I'm sure they'll be there for you in whatever way they're able to

Try a walk in the buggy/sling everyday too, 30mins of fresh air really does make you feel much more positive about things