I am fuming!

[Me, My Girls & I]

My original one was so bad I made an official complaint thru pals have hada couple of nice ones and one truly amazing one who really helped me with me depression! The one I've got now is a bit wank I think! I agree hving children should be prerequisite! My mums always said it about midwifery too, as all the watching and textbook reading in the world just can't give you the same experience and understanding!

 

[AugustMum]

I've had a midwife exactly like you've just said. I asked for help with bf and colic and she just made out that I was young and stupid (even my mum who was there at the time has decided she hates that lady now). I hope it's not an age thing as to why she was patronising because it's completly irrelivant. She should know better than to assume because you aren't a 35 year old mum you don't know what's right. I've seem some amazing mothers that are 18. Makes no difference and a HV SHOULD be able to see that...but some are small minded and don't.

I agree, I've learnt so much from Pf that I would never have known and have even put my mum straight about a few things that she never knew because of this site! I hope that if I become a HV I won't always be textbook! I get they have rules to follow but at the same time, they have to relate and be comforting! I think thats where mine were really good. They just went with what you said and were happy to give advice that wasn't necessarily 'by the book'.

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

the one good thing I can say about my old hv was when I weaned K early, she said whilst she's not allowed to advise it, she did it with hers and some babies need weaning earlier! She was too bf focused tho, K was feeding every hour for an hour and didn't gain any weight for 6 weeks and she just kept saying to stick with it! Eventually saw another hv at clinic who was shocked at her not gaining and was going to send us in to see the doc had I not started FF the day before - she gained over 1lb that week!

 

[lewisca]

I had a fantastic hv with the boys but she is now retired !! Found the one who came to c me after Rhea was quite patronising !!! But saw her again and she was lovely and trying to convince me to become one ! ( been a nurse for nearly 7 yrs) have just registered my interest to train as a colleague has just started and is loving it would like to think I would b a good hv and hopefully stop other mums having our bad experiences !!! Xx

 

[niknaks]

The hv that came home was quite nice. Did go on bait about signs to look out for when weaning and was annoyed that She didn't tell me about the vitamin d drops. Was only when i Went to the clinic about 4 weeks later that I was told about it and that hv that toldme was in shock that i never knew about them. She's really nice and always has time for us and was really reassuring about the mongolian blue spot as I was petrified about it But She just laughed it off and not in a patronising way. Xxx

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

Totally know what you mean, and I can guarantee a lot of girls will relate.
Most of the HV's I think just go into work, go home after their shift and that's it. I don't think they look on the internet like we do and find amazing information and NEW UPDATED information about our baby's. It happened to me when I was pregnant, I'd talk about things and my midwives would be like, "Huh? What the hell is that?" and it's the same with my HV now. She doesn't even listen to me to be honest, if I ask her questions I have to ask her twice, it's like my questions go through one ear and out the other, or she doesn't realise I'm actually asking her a question. And she never truly understands what I'm asking her. She just gives me an answer I already know because it's common sense.

Sometimes I think you just have to keep things to yourself when it comes to talking to your HV's. Like the bumbo seat for example. You'll find your feet soon hun, and you'll know what's best for Tyler and how he works. xxx