How was your day?

Thank goodness I had about 5 hours sleep last night - not in one go I must say!!! Oscar went to bed (FINALLY) at 10.30pm. So did I!
Hubby coming home at 7pm tonight!!! Hee-haa

Thanks for your kind words Rosieroo....it really was a hugely crap day yesterday!! There's so much to rant about, but I'll save my energies for today. I'm sure it's going to be a good day. The weather is great and I'll aim to get out for a walk and a coffee.

Oscar is still feeding constantly and I've read in so many places now that it's perfectly normal - but blimey.... it really is quite exhausting!! It's hard work staring at white walls all day, whilst wishing that someone would bring you a sandwich and a cuppa!!! I'll just dream on. Mind you, hubby is great and promising to spoil me silly this weekend.

I'm missing living in Edinburgh. Had so much fun there with my other two when they were little. Living in this town is quite different. It's a small town and there's not even a park or duckpond. No baby group either - can be lonely some days!
I'm missing the bright lights of the city. Cape Town is very cool and beachfront walks with other mothers is the in thing.

Oh well - Oscar just nodded off. I'm jumping back into bed for a well deserved snooze. Sod the phone, unwelcome visitors and housework!!!
Hope you all have a good day
Emilia xx
 
Not a good day for me so far: Brody must be having a growth spurt as he fed every 2 hours in the night, I think I'm getting a cold
AND
A van ran a red light OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL this morning, there were toddlers and pushchairs on the crossing at the time!!!!
The van was for a local tile shop, so I looked up their number and rang them to complain!!!
I spoke to the manager and he said the driver will get a disciplinary... I hope he does, that's how people get killed!! :evil:

Hope the rest of my day goes better, although I'm stuck in waiting for the nursery wardrobe/drawer set to be delivered so hopefully it will . :)
 
Well I had a good night last night at last :D
I managed to get enough milk expressed off that Ella had a last of night feed of breastmilk and not formula, and she slept from 10pm til 3.20am, took 5oz of expressed milk and then slept from 4am til gone 8am. So I am feeing great today and have managed to get my hoovering, cleaning and polishing done this morning. So far I've got 5oz of milk expressed off for tonight, but I think she'll end up needing some of it in a minute, I'm relying on her getting enough from my right boob as I just expressed the left, but I normally only get a couple of ozs out of that one when I express it so I don't think it will satisfy her.

Plus it's Friday which means we've got DH home for two full days at the weekend, yay! :D
 
Also had a great day after some reasonable sleep. Met up with a friend and went for some lunch. First food with some nutrisional value I've had all week!!!
Oscar behaved like a gentleman and slept for 3.5 hours. Now I'm feeling good and slightly more sane again. Hubby on his way - phoning in pizza tonight. We've got some talking to do, as it was a challenge for both of us this week.

Have a lovely weekend!
Emilia xx
 
Well not a bad day so far! Walked up to town with Jamie in buggy, got a few bargains for him in the Mackays sale!

Also going out tonight for a friends birthday yippppeeeeee!!! OH is looking after Jamie and he also has the day off tomorrow so i get a lie in too!!
Havent been out in ages so really looking forward to it!! Wont drink too much....cant be getting tipsy now!!!! :wink: :wink: :D
 
I had a good night sleep last night. I attempted a dream feed at 11 pm, he refused the bottle but took the breast while sleeping and then he carried on sleeping till 2.50 am, amazing!!!! He was a bit difficult to settle and slept at 4 am till 6, another feed till 7.20 and then up at 9 am, so a very good night for me :)

He was grumpy today once again but not as bad though and i had 2 visitors, which did me a lot of good, seeing nobody started driving me mad!!! another friend should come round tomorrow :)

I also managed to go for a walk and even shopping but still have not managed expressing my milk, thing that i attempted at 11 am but never managed to do it!!!! Thomas has been very grumpy from 4 pm till now, demanding food every hour and a half, crying after being changed, fed and winded. He is asleep now but not for long, i can already hear him, he does not sleep more than 20 minutes at the moment.

So I do not know if he is going into a bad phase or if he is going to be like this, which I do not hope!!!!

I am also getting frustrated with breastfeeding, there is no schedule to anything and I feel like I am not able to spend a lot of time with Thomas apart from feeding him. I think i am just too stressed at the moment to appreciate things and maybe Thomas is picking on it and that is why he is so unsettled.

but i knew it was not going to be an easy experience, am just hoping it will get easier soon :)
 
I was wondering, how do you know if you are having the post natal depression? I do not know if it is because i am so tired but I start to get emotionnally shut down. I see everything in black, cannot find any positive to anything, am not enjoying breastfeeding anymore but do not want to give it up.
Sometimes, i just want to escape, just for a few hours of quietness and peacefullness without the worries.
I so want this to work though. I feel such a bad mum having those feelings.
 
futuremum said:
to escape, just for a few hours of quietness and peacefullness without the worries.
I so want this to work though. I feel such a bad mum having those feelings.

Firstly you are not a bad mum having those thoughts, a massive life changing event has happened to you and has turned your whole world upside down. Seren keeps on crying constantly and it makes me wish I could escape. I have pm'd you, am sending you massive hugs xxxxxx
 
Had an okie day apart from my little guy is sick and not well :( so he's had a crap day.
Found out we're entitled to more money on tax credits than I thought so am happy about that. And all the money is coming through today, Monday and Tuesday for all the benfits, plus a housing benefit cheque in the post too as we finally qualify for a bit of help. Still waiting for my sure start appeal to go through.
 
Im writing this for yesterday.

The day started off crap! OH upset me and then I found out that Teeside University has rejected my application for nursing this year.
I applied to Teeside and Northumbria
In the application pack it explains which qualifications you need. It mentions GCSE maths, english and science but it says that if you are a mature student (which I am, 27) it doesnt matter if you dont have the entry quals if you have the experience. (I got a C in English but a D in science and maths)
I have years of experience with nursing and I was also a vet nurse. Teeside rejected my application because I dont have grade C at GCSE Maths and science. I have also studied at National Diploma and A level before????

I am feeling a bit down hearted because I applied to York about 3 years ago, had my interview and everything and I didnt get in. Their reason was that they thought my idea of nursing was making people happy!!! (I have been working in a nursing environment for 8 years!)

I feel like Im never going to be accepted. It means so much to me to do this!!! :cry:
So much for the 'NHS ' crying out for nurses!!!

The day did get better. Jack had his blood test to check his thyroxine levels and the tests so far were coming back abnormal. This time they had improved and the doctors think he will be fine and it will improve by itself.

Went to our local pub for a meal with Jack and everyone was saying how gorgeous he was!!!! :D
 
Crap!, crap!, crap!

Full of low points and no highs! (apart from a good hair day)

Just been in tears, feel depressed and I just know that as soon as my bath is run, Jack will start crying!!!
 
Today was an ok day. Positive was that i saw some friends and my MIL is here today. We went for a long walk, it did me good and Thomas slept during that time.

Bad points: Thomas is not sleeping during the day and was screaming most of the time!!!! Managed to put him into bed at 8.30 tonight, hopefully he will be asleep untill tomorrow but have doubts.

I will answer to Pms a little bit later,am going to try and relax for a bit
 
Hubby home and have had a day with mixed feelings. One good thing - despite Oscar only waking twice last night, him and I also managed to sleep for 3 hours this afternoon.... hence, me wide awake now! Typical!!

Have been feeling quite tearful. I am really finding being on my own with the 3 kids taxing. No so much in handling the days, but when it comes to food prep, we're just eating bread or pasta. I haven't the time to prepare veggies and where we live, convenience meals (ie. pre-prepared veggies, etc) does not exist! We're in the outback of hell when it comes to food. Not easy for me, as when we lived in UK, had good vegetarian choices..... here, if you don't eat meat 3 x a day, you're pretty much regarded as a NUTTER! I'm just feeling crap at the mo - must be hormonal, maybe! Also feeling terribly sorry for myself, because I don't even have DH here in the evenings, even just to hold Oscar so that I could have a bath/shower. I'm going to be a right minger soon!! :?
I can also just imagine someone saying to me : "Here, have a cuppa and a sandwich while I take the baby for 10 minutes".

Oh well, had my moan now. Really don't mean to sound so negative. Think I've been quite patient and relaxed, but the new week ahead is increasingly looking grim to me!
Can hear DH snoring - must be so nice to not worry about being kept up this time of the night!
Generally, Oscar is a brilliant baby and I'm so in love with him. My two other kids have also been so amazing. I might be feeling low and sorry for myself, but I also know that I've been incredibly lucky! I shall try and remind myself of that more often! :wink: :D :)

Anyway, bed calls.
Emilia xx
 
Damien is still poorly and is worse so it's been bad on that note, but we went shopping so I got out and feel good. Even put full make up on! wooooo
 
Ella seems to have managed to start getting her days and nights a bit mixed up. So now when she wakes at 3 or 4am for a feed she is wide awake and smiling for an hour and a half, but starts to whinge as soon as she is put in her crib. By which time she's mostly digested her feed. I'm still feeding her totally on expressed milk and she spends hardly any time on the breast which is depressing me, but if I don't do that then I can't see how much she is getting, she doesn't go as long between feeds and then it messes up my expressing routine for her night feeds. I also had to give her a feed in the night of formula so I could get back on track with my expressing. I'm struggling. Sometimes I feel so guilty as I am not enjoying the time with her as when she's awake and even when she's not crying I am desperately trying to get her to sleep as I worry that she's going to need more milk from me that I haven't got, I feel like such a bad mum.
If I express every 4 hours then I can get about 4-5oz total out of both breasts. Yesterday it took 6oz to get her to sleep and she was taking 4oz every couple of hours. Obviously I couldn't produce this and had to top her up with 2oz of formula. Why are my boobies so redundant? I feel like shit that I haven't got enough for her. It's supposed to be the most natural thing in the world yet my breasts are letting me down, it's not fair! All I want to do is provide 100% for her from me and I can't even do that.
I'm also struggling when it comes to changing her and the thought of going to the clinic on Tuesday and undressing/dressing her in front of other people knowing she'll scream the place down is making me feel sick. I've been thinking for days about what's going to be the easiest outfit to put her in.
I love her to pieces, but she's draining me. She just needs so much to try and fill her up.
 
Oh rosieroo... sounds like you're having a really hard time!!!

DH and I fell out this morning, because I've been in a huff for most of the weekend. I guess I was just holding back my emotions and that's what I do to deal with it. I just want to have a bloody good cry and get it over and done with!!! Now his on his way back to Cape Town for the week and we're both feeling like shit now. Oscar also seems to wake just as
I'm about to do something for myself!
I can't believe how I'm feeling!!! This coming from awoman who put a full roast on the table when O was 5 days old. In a nutshell, I'm Bree van der Kamp from Desperate Housewives and THAT's my bloody problem!! Too damn proud!

Tomorrow is going to be better. I'll be able to get focused again on the week.
Emilia xx
 
Thomas woke up 3 timeslast night but he did not cry. He had his feeds/change of nappy without fussing so i managed ohave a good sleep in between.

I though this morning he would be happier but it only lasted an hour, then he became grumpy again and he refused to sleep once more. He did not cry as much today but still have hardly any sleep since 8.30 am. Even when we went for a walk, it took him 10 minutes to sleep and as soon as I stopped the pushchair he would start crying.

Thomas asked for a lot of food today but spitted it out most of the time. I managed to put him to sleep now but i know it won't last more than 5 minutes. His sleep is violent, he keeps moving and crying during his sleep, which wakes him up ( it is happening now, he is crying!!!)

So i do not know what to do, shall i let him cry? if yes for how long? It is all so frustrating him not being able to sleep!!!

Will post later as i need to look after him
 
Have had an ok day, spent time with OH and managed to clean my bathroom (it so needed doing but madam won't let me do anything as she wants to be held all the time). Have done all my washing, however the massive ironing pile is just going to have to wait.

However has been some bad bits, one of my guinea pigs died :( and Seren woke up this morning screaming as she had a poo and it had got out of the nappy through her sleepsuit and into her bed. I was there trying to clean up all the poo, whilst leaking everywhere as she was crying and that had set me off. We must have looked a right pair, her covered in poo and me soaking wet.

Amn back on my own tomorrow, its amazing how a baby can make me feel nervous about being on my own isn't it??
 
I've had a wonderful start to the day......... just had to share it with you!

Apart from the fact that Oscar had a brilliant sleepy, he woke me up with the biggest gummy smiles this morning! Finally, I don't have to blame WIND anymore - my little boy is smiling from ear to ear! He's gorgeous - I love him to bits!!!

Makes it all worth while.
Emilia xx
 

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