How to make breastfeeding a success?

[nicejuicypear]

I'm planning to breastfeed when I give birth, hopefully until the baby starts to wean. I had a visit from a maternity support worker who gave me some tips but I was hoping that some of you experienced BFing mums could share the benefit of your experience.

The MSW was fairly good, though I felt she brushed over some of the likely difficulties. When I asked her what made women give up breastfeeding, she said it was usually the women who weren't committed to it that gave up early. I felt that was a bit simplistic, given that I've read of women who have tried to BF and feel really bad about not being able to continue.

She recommended Lansinoh, which I'd already bought, but said not to use it until I'm sore and need it because it's so expensive. Now, I'm usually tight with money, but I've read that it's good to use it anyway to help prevent soreness from happening or getting too bad, so if that's the case, I'd rather spend the money using it.

It also concerned me that she said they don't check for tongue-tie in the hospital routinely but they wait until you're having problems latching on before they look into it. I'd rather they just did a quick check to start with, to me it seems more sensible to catch the problem before it starts?

So with some of these things, I'm starting to think that the advice I get might not be the most supportive or practical, particularly the glossing over of reasons why women stop BFing.

I want to know what is the best way to start out positively to maximise my chances of BF working in the long term for me? What did you do that worked, or wish that you did differently?

 

[Maud]

My own experience required a huge dedication to wanting to breastfeed. Having good support was vital. My husband was very supportive, as were my midwives and health visitor, and I went to an nct breastfeeding support counsellor. I think it'd be useful to find support groups in advance, so you aren't having to find them in a hurry. Hospitals, mum & baby cafes and the nct are most likely to offer support.

I totally understand why so many people stop, but if you can get through the early weeks it is so worth it.

 

[tinkerbell13]

We had a hard time initially but I'm glad to say that I persisted with breastfeeding and it paid off and have been breastfeeding for 6 weeks so far. I have to say that it did take determination, lots of tears (from me), and lots of support (husband, mom, midwife, health visitor and breastfeeding peer supporters). I'd definitely say that without this support I wouldn't be breast feeding today! Maybe the support available depends on your area? Where abouts are you?

I can confirm what you were told - tongue tie is not routinely checked for. My lo had severe tongue tie, I was helped at the hospital by several staff (midwives, nursery nurses and even an expert breast feeding lady (or so I was told) and not one of them picked up he had tongue tie (id never heard of it before) it was only when there was a shift change that a new nursery nurse on shift said to me 'he may have tongue tie' no explanation just that he's unlikely to latch. I didn't see this lady again and I mentioned this to each midwife that came to me to help him latch, I was told that even if he had it he would still be able to feed (not the case at all as later found out it was severe and he'd never have latched) I wasn't allowed to leave hospital until feeding had been established so in order to leave hospital I was told I'd need to express and top up with formula (initially he was fed via cup then bottle) Anyway I'm waffling lol. I was visited by my midwife from the surgery the day after I got home, she took one look at his tongue and diagnosed tongue tie and said that he wouldn't be able to latch. She advised to either see gp who would refer him for procedure (which could take up to 6 weeks) or go private (which we did and had the procedure done at day 6). Straight away after procedure he fed (with help from lactation consultant)

Anyway I was helped by several breastfeeding peer supporters, breastfeeding clinics, midwifes etc following procedure and as he had to relearn to latch and it did take a good week to get it established, however without the support of husband and mom I'd definitely have given up.

I was slightly nieve I think I thought breast feeding was a case of just putting baby on the boob i didn't realise the hard work it'd be? Especially for the first few weeks but it's definitely worth it! That's just my experience and maybe others may have found it easier?

I'm in the sixth week of breast feeding and haven't had to use any nipples cream at all, my nipples are fine not even a little bit sore. My midwife said that if baby latches right your nipples shouldn't be sore.

Sorry to waffle lol hope my experience is of some use to you.

 

[tinkerbell13]

Also, I think it's unfair of midwife to say that people give up because they arent committed enough as sometimes for some reason it's just not possible for some to breast feed. I feel lucky to be able to breast feed as I know so many others who couldn't. But at the end of the day as long as baby putting on weight and healthy it doesnt matter if breast or bottle fed in my opinion.

 

[nicejuicypear]

I think the fact that I know it might be hard going and am mentally prepared for that already is probably going to help. Perhaps that's what the MSW meant, but I did baulk a little at the comment that it was because they weren't committed enough, it seemed as if she thought that anyone can do it if they just try hard enough and I know that's not the case.

Your experience of tongue-tie is really interesting to read about, glad to hear you got it sorted. What sort of price did you have to pay to get it done privately, if you don't mind me asking? Can't believe you were going to have to wait 6 weeks on the NHS, that would not help establish BF at all!

Maud, that's a good idea about the support groups. I know of one weekly one I can go to. My HV has already visited but forgot her list of other groups, said she'd bring it round a couple of weeks after I give birth, but it might be worth me asking someone else if they have a copy prior to that.

I have a lot of support around me, my partner breastfed her three children and one of my friends used to be a peer supporter or something for the NCT. So hopefully that will help me.

 

[tiggy85]

I have to say I can understand why the midwife said what she did (re not being committed). It can be painful, and In the dead of the night when you feel so knackered and just want to rest it is something that only you can do (can't expect hubby to bottle feed in the initial weeks). You feel so very attached to baby as they do feed more frequently than formula fed babies and perhaps sometimes don't sleep as well because of it. I found baby didn't settle on me as could always smell my milk and i would be feeding for 5 hrs every evening. but he would settle for daddy.

it can be stressful with lots of things which make you doubt what your doing and whether your doing the right thing, people like bottles as you can see numerically how much they have had and if they were crying after being fed 8oz then mum would assume it was colic or being tired. With breastfeeding things aren't so easy. I had a big problem with baby' screaming in between feeds and not re latching. I was told it was baby not having enough milk and to supplement with formula.

My gut feeling was it wasn't due to lack of milk as he was gaining and believe me I could pump for Britain, but still made me doubt myself. I didn't supplement as I didn't want to ruin my long term chances of breastfeeding, so I didn't. I plugged on. We later found out he had reflux which was why he was scream for hours between feeds.

I did a lot of crying which was mainly down to hormones, lack of sleep and my concern over whether he was getting enough/stress with fussy feeding. I would cry fairly regularly if I was honest, in those first 8'weeks, but then it suddenly all clicked and by 10 weeks we were feeding confidently and baby was much more settled and I didn't get anxious about baby feeding! We then breastfed for 13 months and that was the best and most rewarding time,. I actually planned to wean him onto formula at 6 months but honestly that was too much faff (making bottles and taking it out with you) so so much easier to breastfeed.

So my advise is if you really really really want to breastfeed then you will find a way around any obstacles that might get in your way. But please seek the bf councillor advise from bf support groups as midwife(some)/health visitor/gp advise can be very incorrect and damaging to long term success of breastfeeding, if you can stick with it and get over the hurdles (if there are any) then after 8-10 weeks it's a doddle and very rewarding,

Good luck.

Also I found the breastfeeding support network (phone line of bf councillors open 8am-10pm) were fab! They got me through some very tough times even if it was just an ear to listen to my concerns!

 

[tiggy85]

Sorry I didn't actually answer your question, the things that I think I did to help me succeed at breastfeeding were:
-regular catch ups and meet ups With friends with similar ages babies whom were Breast-feeding- I had one very good friend whom was going through similar things and we both encouraged other.
- researching and reading up on breastfeeding on internet
-bf support groups and the peer support network as above
- being so stubborn that I was not going to give up (I thought about it lots though to start)
- having a hubby support me with things - cooking tea, bringing me snacks and drinks, settling baby after feeds, doing Naples after feeds so I could rest.

 

[nicejuicypear]

Okay, I've got the support network bookmarked on my phone browser now! That might come in useful, thanks.

I'm stubborn by nature so hopefully I'll be stubborn about this. And I'll insist on everyone in the house being my personal slave re. food and drinks, that bit will be fun, haha!

I agree with your comments about some MWs and HVs not giving good advice, I know my cousin's HV gave advice that just completely contradicted what all the women in our family said. They're not all bad but I do think there's a kind of party line they have to trot out. I've found a few more local groups, through FB, today so I will keep them in mind so I can contact other mums going through the same thing.

 

[HL28]

I used lansinoh with my second from the very beginning! So I'd advise to used it straight away. I've rarely been through one tube to be honest with all of them. And it's something I'd be happy to buy more of. So chuck it on before and after feeds. I kinda agree with your midwife to some extend (sorry) I often feel that unless you go in with the attitude I'm definitely breastfeeding regardless then people are inclined to add a few ff and sometimes people see how much easier ff can be and change to formula. I personally didn't get and bottles or formula in before have mine because I WAS BF there wasn't any question about it. Yes it's incredibly hard work but so so worth battling through the first 6 weeks. I also co slept so made feeding at night easier because I'd latch them on and fall asleep (takes practice with your first). Don't get me wrong I know some people do get things like mastitis etc which must be incredibly hard and I can understand why people switch but things like lack of sleep inevitable so just prepare yourself mentally that they will cluster feed for hours at a time because they NEED to to increase milk supply and may not go more than a few hours at a time at night between feeds. I think these a hormonal reason for this in the early days. Anyway sorry babbling and good luck!!! And definitely join a BF support group Xxxx

 

[nicejuicypear]

Oh, I agree that if you aren't determined to stick at it, you're likely to give up when it gets a bit hard. I just didn't like the insinuation that that is the only reason that women give up, that as long as you're determined, it will work for you.

I have been told about cluster feeding, it is good to have a heads up on that so I know it is normal for that to happen and I'm not alarmed when it starts! I can live with a few hours between feeds at night while cluster feeding happens, and beyond if needs be.

People have suggested getting a bit of formula in 'just in case', but I am not doing that. There's a 24hr supermarket down the road if it comes to it. I have a couple of bottles, but only because I bought a manual pump to try expressing. I won't be doing that for a while because I've heard that bottle teats can confuse them early on.

Thanks for all your input, the tips have been very useful.

 

[CamFi]

I actually refused to have any bottles or formula in the house as I didn't want an easy escape if I was having a bad day. I didn't bother with expressing.

You don't need a huge amount of lansinoh, so I would definitely use it pre-emptively in the first couple of weeks. If you're not in pain after that then stop, but if you've already bought it, then the money is already spent, so you might as well use it!

And other than that, lots of support, If you don't have friends with babies, try to join a breastfeeding support group.

 

[Alleig]

I adopted an approach of doing it as if someone' slide depended on it. Which it obviously does. The point is, knowing that you are the only person who can do it because there is no alternative is a tremendous motivator. That's incredibly motivating when your baby has fed for two hours straight, had half an hour of sleep and then wailed for more. I get annoyed with women when they say they couldn't keep up with them because it implies that their baby is somehow different, or that we who carried on had easier babies. No, we just didn't submit to an alternative. It also denies the biology. Your body makes milk continuously whilst feeding. As long as you're well nourished and have no physiological barrier to it, you will keep up. Feeding constantly is normal behaviour for babies when they're very young. Knowing that, having nothing to allow you to translate don't want to into can't, making sure you make life easy on yourself by feeding lying down, co sleeping safely and when necessary and getting your partner to support you in knowing the same things you do and helping you as much as possible in terms of giving you breaks and handing baby over to you, you'll be a success. Don't have bottles or formula in the house. Act like breastfeeding is the only option and it will be the only option.

 

[Lyllian]

My baby is tongue tied. To be honest it's really obvious that she is, I noticed myself. Luckily I couldn't bf anyway due to being on antibiotics and strong iv painkillers post delivery and still am so she's ended up formula feeding which I was hoping to avoid but hey, she's getting fed and that's all that matters in the end

I didn't realise she wouldnt have been able to bf cause of her tongue tie anyway, it took a few days for the me's in the hosp to mention that part xx

 

[Lyllian]

Sorry Allergy but I don't agree with a lot of your comment. Saying not bf denies biology is unfair. Some.women can't and shouldn't feel.like they have failed in alone.of.their natural.purposes in.life. Also it's bad advice in my.opinion to say act like there's no alternative. If the baby, mummy or both are struggling and stressing then they should be able.to.consider alternatives guilt free. I couldn't and my baby couldn't and I refuse to listen.to suggestions that either of us have failed in any way. Sorry, over sensitive and.tired maybe but keep alternatives open, you are not a failure if you decide to or have to switch to formula or bottles xx

 

[MrsGriff]

Breastfeeding is hard but so worth it. Like CamFi I refused to have any formula in the house so I can't resort to formula when I'm having a bad day. I came quite close to giving up after about 5 weeks when baby was constantly at me and feeding for hours at a time. I got quite depressed about it. It was after I spoke to another mum who suggested that baby was tongue-tied and gave me the details of a lactation specialist. Turns out baby was tongue-tied and so we had her snipped. It was very quick and baby wasn't distressed so not as bad as it sounds.

That made such a massive difference to the way she fed and I've not come close to giving up since. I still have days where I'm unbelievably knackered but I try to express a bit every day and OH takes over one of the nighttime feeds at the weekend to give me a break. It works for us.

I really hope that you do give it a good go. It is definitely worth the hassle and it does get easier over time.

Just remember that the most important thing after the baby is born is to get the milk supply up and working. Latch problems can be sorted out later on fairly easily but if the milk supply goes it is gone forever.

Good luck!
xxx

 

[Lyllian]

I don't see how having formula in the house as a back up is a bad idea. You don't know what's going to happen during labour/birth that may stop you being able to bf, like.medications, complications which mean you're simply not fit, or.some.women simply don't produce milk. You then have the added stress of having to somehow get everything you need for your newborn while trying to look after and adjust to them being there and being hungry! Surely making sure your baby is fed and.not hungry is the priority over our desire to 'do what's natural'. The baby's needs are paramount, need to consider who we are really doing it for forcing bf so much which could be to the detriment of the baby. It's a bit selfish.

Yes bf is best but surely it's responsible to cater for baby's needs in the event you cant...?

 

[tiggy85]

I think having formula in the house is a bad idea, there are always 24hr shops if it was an emergency,

in times of stress, tiredness and hormones can all lead mummy to think let's just give formula a go, a spur of moment and could be hasty decision, particularly if you want to bf and it is likely to compromise the long term success of bf exclusively.

I don't know many people that have managed to bf without a hitch or stress in those first couple of months but once it's established most bf mums continue for as long as they want and there are very few issues after that. It sometimes is a case of short term difficulties reaps long term rewards and continuation of bf for as long as mummy and baby wants.

 

[MrsGriff]

Lyllian, I really find it strange and a bit insulting that you imply that I am selfish because I said that I wouldn't have formula in the house in case I had a bad day.

I have no way criticised you for your choices in how you feed your child. I was merely answering the OPs question about what worked for me to make breastfeeding a success.

I would in no way put my child in danger or distress just to please myself. Most people have access to 24 hour shops and, anyway, in the event that I couldn't have breast fed, I would have had no problems in getting formula during normal shopping hours.

However, my point was that tiredness, a bad day etc can make people make choices that they wouldn't make if they were refreshed. Hence reaching for the formula may seem like a good idea at the time but could lead to milk supply problems in the future.

I don't mean to offend but you sound very defensive about this issue. I am sorry that you clearly didn't have either the support you needed to continue to bf, or the strong desire to do so but calling people selfish for their choices is not on.
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