How irresponsible can he be?!

[HeppiBean]

Sorry if his ends up going on a bit but I'm fuming!!

So, I went into town today cause I had to do a few bits so thoguht I'd ask FOB if he'd like to come meet us for some lunch as he's not seen Cesca for a few days. He met me and everything was ok, he was in a bad mood but tbh, when isnt he?

We decided to go to Sainos cafe for lunch so headed over. Walking through the library car park (right near Sainos) this older man, must have been late 40s/early 50s pulled up in a space we were about to cut through. He stopped, turned off his engine but then sat in his car. It appeared he was on his phone so we cut down the drivers side. It was the only gap big enough for the pushchair otherwise we'd have had to walk right round... And I couldn't be bothered.

Anyway... Just as I got to his door, he looked up, saw me, and pushed his door open right into the side of the pushchair!! He saw I was there, with a baby and still did it!! He closed it as if it had been an accident so I glared at him but carried on. Then when FOB walked past he did it again!! Opened his door straight into FOBs side!

FOB wasnt as calm as me about it and went mental! I was so embaressed! He was shouting and screaming, near enough climbed into the front of this guys car behaving in an incredibly violent manner, threatning to stub his fag out in his eye and such. The man in the car pushed FOB out, knocking him to the ground. Personally I think he deserved it, yehh I was pissed this man had done that to not only FOB but to my daughters pushchair but that was a complete over reaction! And so un called for!

FOB got up off the floor still shouting at this man, while I stood there not knowing what to do, then he started walking toward to but kicked the mans rear lights smashing them!! I turned and walked toward Sainos wanting no part in this and FOB began to follow me.

The man in the car called to police and started to follow us. I turned to FOB and told him that I wanted no part in any of this. It was his own doing and he was NOT going to drag me and his daughter into it and I left.

I walked to Sainos and had a fag outside where I bumped into a friend of mine. We were having a chat when we heard someone shouting "stop him!" and looked up to see FOB bolting across the car park with the man from the car and 4 police officers following him!! I was mortified!! Why would he react like that! Idiot!!

Anyway. A few hours later he called me and I find out that he has been cautioned for criminal damage.

I'm so angry right now. This, I can't even call him a man, is supposed to be a father. He's supposed to be proving to be that he is responsible. And he does that?!

Sorry for the moan... But I honestly cannot believe he reacted in such a way. You wouldn't think he was a "man", more like an immature teenage boy!

xxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

OMG thats dreadful, the older guy could have been a bit preoccupied because of anything... anyone could have been on the phone

what is he like? Some sort of lairy teenager?

nutter

 

[HeppiBean]

I didn't know what to do! I've NEVER been in a situation like that before!! He's 22 but acts more like he's about 12!! xx

 

[ippa]

Wow that sounds like a serious over reaction! I mean I would have been pissed if someone opened their door into me or pushchair but would have probably just sworn under my breath and walked off!
What an idiot running from the police aswel!
XxX

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[HeppiBean]

Gahh! Why, just when I start thinking that there might actually be an "us" again does he go and do something like that xx

 

[titch]

Oh hun that was such an overreaction, and then he made everything worse by running away I swear some people, you dont even have ot give them rope and they'll stil hang themselves

I think you should print this off, and some of you rold posts about him, so that when you do start to think of getting back with him, you can read about how you feel right now.

Why does he react like that? Do you think that he could be on any kind of drugs or steroids or does he just have really poor emotional intelligence?!

 

[HeppiBean]

Well, I know he was smoking weed for definate... He says he's quit now but I'n not sure tbh... I dont know where his anger comes from. I mean... I have a short temper at times... But wow!! xx

 

[titch]

yeah that was a total explosion of anger. Do you think hes paranoid? weed can do that. Maybe if hes really paranoid he thought that guy was attacking him or something?

 

[DaisyPurple]

He's a fucking moron. You and Francesca deserve so much more than that. You are a brilliant mum to that little girl its very unlikely that he will ever be anything other than what he displayed today I'm sorry he put you through this x

 

[HeppiBean]

Maybe... He definitely gets paranoid... So could be... xx

 

[titch]

ah well we'll probably never understand what goes through these mens minds, Ive been going round in circles trying to work out my FOB all week. In the end I just think, I cant be bothered understanding him anymore.

 

[HeppiBean]

Oh god I know that feeling!! x

 

[Iriki]

Holy crap!!!!!!
I've said it before and I'll say it again- he's a loser!!!!! whatever issues he has, there's no excuse for that behavior.
Could you imagine if LO was 3/4 years old and aware of what her father was doing, then seeing him being chased by police????? Totally unacceptable.
TBH I would insist on supervised visits if and when you let him see your LO- that is not the behavior of a rational, balanced individual. What would happen if he kicked off like that when he was on his own with her?????
This guy is just digging a bigger and bigger hole for himself and sooner or later someone will do him a favor and fill it in!!!!

 

[Iriki]

Oh and sorry that you had to be put through that.... You deserve so much better.

 

[Elfs Mummy]

What an idiot !! X

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[pinkymum]

I was just reading your post below about wanting more support from him. I agree with Irki and Ninja, I don't have alot of time to come on the forum but I've read your posts since you joined and you seem alot happier without him. I know it's hard work without an OH, but it seems to me it's harder work on you when you have him around. You're doing so well I know it's easy enough for me to say he's not worth but you and cesca deserve 100 times more than this!

 

[titch]

I know it's hard work without an OH, but it seems to me it's harder work on you when you have him around.

so true!!

And I agree you do seem a lot calmer about things since you stopped living with him. I dont think he's good for your mental health, he seems really negative and angry and that can drag anyone down. believe me, I know!

 

[HeppiBean]

Thanks girls. Think I'm just going to try and manage. It is hard. But it seems to get easier every day the more and more I do things on my own xx

 

[titch]

you will find one day, that you are doing better on your own, than you would have ever been with him draggin you down I totally beleive that you can do this. A man like that will only add more stress to your life. Imagine if you were living together, you'd have to be worrying all the time about police showing up after him and he was quite disprespectful of your needs when you were pregnant too. Hes no help to you.

 

[KellyHook]

Oh Hun, That is just totally unreasonable behavior in general, and its even worse that he did it with you and Francesca around... Its Not my situation so can only just give my opinion.

He just seems like a dick to me! he obviously has no respect for you, makes no effort what so ever. why do you want this?? you should be made to feel loved, appreciated and cared for. you deserve to be happy and the longer you keep being involved with him (apart from Francesca sake) the longer its going to take you to be happy!! i would just cut all relationship ties with him and just move on.. you can do so much better, and deserve so much better. Go and get access sorted and maintenance, show him that you will not put up with his shit anymore. IF he wants to see his daughter then thats great, but refusing to look after his daughter because he feels ill is just wrong, why would he not want to see her?? he knows that you will just keep agreeing and putting up with his shit, so basically stick two fingers up at him and move on and prove that YOU dont need him, you are a strong independent woman bringing up his BEAUTIFUL baby girl. he has shown his true colours many a time, and will most likely not change...

Chin up hun, i hope i haven't offended you in any way, just want you to be happy, and i really cant see you being happy with him. i know its easier said than done to just walk away, especially when there are feelings involved but seriously just think...... DO YOU DESERVE BETTER???!

I think we all know the answer!!!


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