How do you keep TTC sexy?

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by Loola, Dec 5, 2007.

  1. Loola

    Loola Well-Known Member

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    We are in our 8th month of TTC and the hardest thing about it is trying to keep it sexy for my OH. He has told me that having sex just for the purpose of making babies is not the biggest turn on, and I absolutely agree with him, of course its easier for us ladies to just 'have it' so to speak, than the men. If they are not into it, it just cant happen!
    So I have not told him when Ive been ovulating, Ive donned my kinkiest outfits and attitudes.... but alas he is not that stupid, he knows exactly what Im up to.

    I sometimes wish I had never told him about all the ins and outs of baby making, cos that way it wouldnt have put any pressure on him, he wouldnt think I was totaly mental with all these OPK's, basal temperature charts and whatnot, but at the same time, I need to be organised, I have to make sure that we dont have visitors on important nights etc so I have to tell him not to make plans.

    I know I have to learn to chill out with it all, but its really hard when you want something so much isnt it? Especially when you have to rely on someone else to help you with it (Im not used to relying on anyone!!).

    Has anyone got any good advice to give or share my problem? Do your DP's share your enthusiasm about TTC?
     
  2. mrs_tommo22

    mrs_tommo22 Well-Known Member

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    Im no expert at this by any means as my first child was a happy accident so there was no planning, my second was planned and it was the most forced sex ever! And complained all week about the plannedness of it all - but were now trying for our 3rd and when im ovulating i just dont tell him.

    I guess just dont tell him when your ovulating, why not drag him out for a meal and a few drinks at your local? youl both be relaxed and when you get home and heres hoping you have a great time!

    Is your husband and you into erotic films? why not try that as i know lots of ladies that have tryed it and its kept things sexy for them.

    Im sorry ive not been much help, but im no expert by any means :D
     
  3. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    Yes it's an issue isn't it! Ironic as that's what sex is for! I don't tell him when I'm ovulating although me being more up for it than ever in my life gives the game away! To be honest some of it you just can't control. One month his football club lost 6-0 on the important night so there was no way he was going to do anything other than bury his head under the pillow- doh! Can't control that sadly! The night before we watched a docu that had scenes from an operation in it so there was no BD after that either as it was a film of castration! Doh! So no sex two nights in a row right when I OVd!

    I think getting drunk helps as does OV falling on a weekend or holiday but of course you can't always plan that. Could you change strategy and say that you're not TTC but you're not stopping getting pregnant instead- a few weeks break? Of course you could do what you like in private OPK-wise?

    :hug: Sorry I can't offer proper advice but I have the same problem!
    +++
     
  4. Chrissy1

    Chrissy1 Well-Known Member

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    this is a tough one. Me and DH have it so much at OV and it's really forced and not the best!! but because we've done it so much we're actually so fed up of it by the time OV has finished that we don't really want to do it so we are missing out on the fun side of it! hmmmmm......only just realised that as I wrote it!! :(

    I know when we don't really feel like doing it but we know it's the time we resort to either sexy underwear or dirty films.... :wink: It's not failed us yet


    I've found that not tell DH makes it worse becuase he still knows when it's happening just by how I am. Being upfront with him means that at least he knows what's expected of him


    :hug:
     
  5. Loola

    Loola Well-Known Member

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    Ah thanks so much ladies for your replies :) Its so true that OV happens at exactly the wrong time! For me its pretty much always a Tues or Weds, usually when Man Utd are on TV (he's a fan). Thankfully they usually win so he's happy, but there is no chance of loving if they lose! and pretty much no chance if they win either as he's too drunk to perfom by that point! :lol: I knew it was a bad idea to get Sky Sports :wink:

    The erotic film thing might be a good idea! If we can stop ourselves from giggling and get into it.

    I miss getting really turned on myself! In the back of my mind I always have the thoughts of 'make sure you are in a suitable position' or 'dont let it leak out!' (sorry TMI! :oops: ) Im sure If I gave up on all the technicalities Id probably concieve straight away, I just cant not be in control and leave it to mother nature somehow.
     
  6. PinkPunch

    PinkPunch Well-Known Member

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    haha, wishful thinking!! :wink: (Liverpool fan :lol: )

    I've been thinking about this lately and althought we haven't TTC yet, I know how awkward it will become. So my plan is to have a blast and make it different each OV week to make it extra special. I think the missonary position is a mood killer when your thinking "this is 1 of the best position to make a baby" rather than just doing what you enjoy.

    I think foreplay is the key and the rest will follow when yoru ready :oops:

    How about these?
    http://ilovemeonline.com/index.php?page ... t&Itemid=1

    http://ilovemeonline.com/index.php?page ... t&Itemid=1

    Or why not give your oh the choice and its up to him to come up with something inventive? At least that way hes involoved and doesn't feel so used lol
     

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