How do you divide your time between family?

[LouiseB]

Ho ho ho

My husband and i have always had an issue with xmas.

I love having xmas dinner with my family and he loves having xmas dinner with his family.

Up until we got married last Sept, we had never spent a xmas day together even though we lived together - he went back to his family and i went back to mine.

Then, last year, we decided we are a married couple and should spend xmas together - but we didn't have a kitchen and would have to choose.

He basically said that he wasn't having dinner with my family because he didn't want to offend his family (double standards...) so i let him have his way in return that this christmas we go to my family.

I can already feel him considering backing out of his side of the agreement and although i'm sure i'll get my way in the end - it won't be without a stink.

I know we could stay at home, but that would be me cooking all day for him to scoff it down in 30 secs and leave me with the dishes.

How do other families do this when they have a small (or in my case) non-existant family?

 

[tinkerbell86]

For the first few years we went our seperate ways. Then we went to mine then his dad's then mine and were due to spend this xmas just us (his mum asked us the other year to go out for xmas dinner but the price was crazy and we couldn't afford to) but as we will have baby we are inviting all to ours!!! Thing is they might have to chip in with bringing something (my mum has offered to cook) but we are not shipping the baby around xmas day as we want to spend it at our new house!!

 

[jodied]

Hi Louise

It's definitely a tricky one! Me and hubbie were the same before we bought a house- each year he would go home to his parents in Yorkshire and I would stay in Hampshire with mine.

We bought our house last summer and decided that we would spend our first Christmas together. So we didn't go to either of our parents (even though mine live very close to our house) so as not to offend either set of parents. Then my mum effectively moved Christmas Day to Boxing Day and we had dinner there then his parents came to us for New Year.

This year I've agreed to go to hubbie's parents for Christmas on the basis that I'm not going to be travelling to Yorkshire next year with a Little One!

Definitely tough and a potential source of arguments. Thankfully my mum and dad are really understanding and as we see them a lot the rest of the year they are going to move Christmas day again for us! x

 

[isobel84]

My Oh dont really celebrate crimbo as hes a muslim, although if i choose to stay here over christmas we would have a little christmas just the 3 of us.
I go home this year to sweden and we celebrate one day at my mums and the other day at my dads XX

 

[MrsR]

My family is all in Manchester so we either see them before or after Christmas, they either come here or we go there for a couple of days though since we'll have a baby this year they'll be coming to us. Then we spend Christmas day just us and see his family either boxing day or Christmas eve.

 

[frankie707]

We have done alternate parents for the last few years and then go to the other set for boxing day but its a lot of travelling and I would still much rather spend it with my family. If all goes to plan this year DH will be back from deployment to see me and baby so we will be going NOWHERE and I don't even want anyone else over - just want us to spend as much time as a family before he goes away!

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

We always go to my parents cos we don't get on with OH's parents so it's so easy for us!!

 

[x-misspinkuk-x]

we go to my OH parents on Christmas morning for presents and Christmas dinner. then about 4ish we go to my mums for present and another Christmas dinner. it has always been that way.

 

[Yodabo]

The same every year

Dinner at home, my parents teatime, If we get time, lees real mum, sister and brother In the night.

Boxin day we go over to his aunties where his grandparents (who he was brought up with) other aunties and uncles are too.

 

[rbryan0205]

since livig together we have always gone to my parents christmas day for dinner and boxing day to ohs parents some years we have nipped to his parents xmas day evening depends on if we have ahd a drink and my oh always wants to go to my parents xmas day lunch so easy for us thi year he even said we dont have to go to his boxing day as i'll be 3 days off my due date but i said we will even if its only for a couple of hours xx

 

[clairebear22]

I don't talk to my Parent's so we always spend Christmas with my OH's family!

xxx

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Sadly our both sets of parents have passed away but we still end up deciding if were going to the sil and bil or if they are coming to us!

This year tho we have decided were going to spend Christmas day alone just the three of us and were not going to have inlaws over and were prob going to avoid visiting them on Christmas day night too....just coz were going to have the baby here next year and cant wait but its DD last year being an only child and I want to make it all about her as next year she will be sharing it with her baby brother or sister so we can stay in our pjs all day if we want to as our doors will be staying closed me thinks so nobody to please, upset or annoy apart from ourselves lol!!!

xx

 

[frankie247]

This Christmas will be mine and my husbands second one together. Last year we weren't married. This year we are. He doesn't get on terribly well with his side of the family, so we spent Christmas day and boxing day last year with my family, which was probably just swell because it was my gran's last Christmas with us and we took his family out to a very expensive restaurant a few days before christmas instead if seeing them over Christmas.

This year we have decided that since it's our first Christmas as a married couple we are going to spend this Christmas day just the two of us and see family on boxing day or around Christmas itself.

 

[vixforever]

Oh my confusing lol

 

[sexyamy2005]

until we got married we allways went our seporate ways, even when we lived together,lol

in 2008 we went out with my mum n dad (we paid for it for there present)
last year we went to hubbys mums for xmas dinner and mine for tea, so i think we may go to my mums for lunch and his for tea this year,

id like to just spend it just me n hubby the baby and our doggy this year as a proper family, but really dont want to cook, but dont want to travel really either, lol my mum n dad live round the corner n his are only about a 15 minute drive, so they are both close, but im really stuck on what to do this year,

i kno if we dont go round to my mum n dads they will end up not having a xmas dinner (im a only child) and will end up having beans on toast or something stupid like that, so i feel guilty if we dont go to them,

i kno if i invite everyone round (even tho i dont want to, my mum n dad would come but OH's wouldnt, they think people should travel to see them and wont visit anyone,

i did think about booking for me oh and baby to go out 4 dinner and then tea time with his parents n boxing day with mine, but i dont think we really can afford it, and i dont think il want to get dressed up with a very little baby, (specially if im overdue it will be like 10th dec)

so we are now unsure to where to go without upsetting or skinting / stressing ourselfs out!!?? families hey?!!