Hi ladies I am single only just saw this section :s! Heres my biiiiig introduction :)

LucyAnn

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2011
Messages
932
Reaction score
0
Hiya hope you are all ok!? To put my story in short (i bet its still gonna be super long lol). I was with, engaged, and buying a house with the perfect man ever ....i thought.

We had been together for just over a year - My flat was on market for sale we got engaged Jan (he even went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage!), Found out I was pregnant February - Completely unexpected! we were living in the house decorating it in general and the nursery.(we were buying it off his mom and just waiting my flat to sell to complete sale but his mom was living elsewhere so this was now our home)

Well when we found out i was pregnant i saw our life falling appart i wasnt ready etc and cried for two weeks straight, my main concern was i didnt want to jepradise us. Whereas jon was all up for it saying how much he would love a baby etc and so on.

We had our engagement party April and told the news we were 4 1/2 months pregnant! Jon was ill with shingles and flat sale fell through s very stressful. To top it off i was hardly eating sickness 4/5 times a day we found out my blood type was rhesus negative o negative, which stressed me and I didnt realise we were pregnant so i had still been taking the pill smoking drinking etc at the start of pregnancy so i was in general riddled with guilt.

Well anyway im a naturally anxious person and sleeping has always been an issue (i have cbt therapy for it)

The break --
Jon just seemed to change over a couple of days, shouted at me and said i piss him off all the time ?!?!? this was end of may. I asked him to talk to me as this behaviour was so out of character he wouldn't so i left him and our home(and took my cats lol) a few days later on the saturday .
Nearly a week passed then we met up and got thinkgs back on track on the understanding that we both have worries bt need to talk to each other etc (I wasnt very happy that i had been at my moms 6 months pregnant crying not eating and found out he had been on the piss each night and staying at his sisters on the sofa (who by the way smokes weed and no his brother lives there who also smokes weed)

So anyways we were back at the flat a few weeks and as everything was now there and he was really pressuring me to get back to the house. I was taking him to work and picking him up each day as he was skint from spending all his money which started to drain me as i worked in the oposite direction. I also put my half of money in for the bills that month and we split for good before he had contributed. When he hadnt got back to the jon i knew at the flat i said i wont move back to house before the air had been completely cleared. He admitted to me that he feels an anger in him all the time and i stressed how he needs to deal with this as we cant have this round the baby, he ended up throwing somethiing in this kitchen that night.

So then i said to him start catching the bus to work please if you can as costing me a fortune in petrol (he said yes) and that was it i dropped him off that morning and expected him to be home about 6ish (its only one bus from his work back to flat) but i didnt here off him till late evening saying ''cant get to flat got no £ staying at sisters''

That was the last i heard off him. I bumped into him the following wednesday at my CBT session as me and therapist had invited him as he was stressing me out.

I said how come you never said you skint i could have kept giving you lifts, you need to tell me these things etc (ALL THROUGH THE SESSION HE WAS LIKE A ZOMBIE) my therapist was saying you both love each other etc , i was actually crying. Then the minute she left the room he was like ' what a stupid bitch shes trying to tell me what to do how to feel, i can do what the fuck i like' (Again the really out of character jon came out!) so when we left the session i confronted jon and he said he doesnt care what i think of him etc so i said well its over then. And that was it.

Next i heard off him was a few weeks later when he showed up un announced at my flat in a car he had borrowed from work and he had bought his friend who was in a seperate car and starts demanding his stuff. I just said well wish you could have told me you was coming could have got it ready. Gave him a few boxes and he went.

Then i started to updated him by text on each midwife appointment etc and he has thanked me for updates. Then at 7 1/2 months pregnant I had a car crash, i called jon. I was quite a bad one my car was written off and i was in the hospital being monitored all day and night. Jon kissed me on the lips which was confusing matters but was there for me none the less. He came back to my parents afterwards and promised them he was going to buy some baby stuff and also but me a cheap runabout so i had a car etc.
Did this happen NO!!
He contacted me the day after saying wanna go baby shopping i was like well i cant because of my back from the crash. He had arranged to view my friends KA to buy it for me was only £150 and that never happenned, even after he promised me and my parents.
Then i never heard a dickie bird out of him till last Saturday.

He started txting me saying im at flat come outside we need to talk and i said jon its nearly 9.30pm its too late, you can phone me but its too late for visitors. he started started to really push he wanted to see me there and then and i said what do you want to talk to me about....he never replyed

On the tuesday (this was last tuesday) he text me at 7pm asking if i was at home ~(i wasnt i was at my friends for tea) because i didnt reply for ten minutes he sent me a text saying i know your at home stop being so fucking imature, your window is open and im not leaving till you speak to me!! and he rang my mom!!!! My mom knew i wasnt at home and he played the symptahy act to her saying, I have had to come unannouced bacuse she never replys to my texts etc (which was bollax but cus i have tried not to involve my parents much they didnt know what to think.)

so to clear it up once and for all i said i will meet you at top of street at 9pm. (Just to recap he had last seen me 7 1/2 months preg, without a car he had promised , still not contributed a penny, and the day after , the wed was my last day at work for mat leave) So he gets out his car (which obviusly he had afforded to get back on road as he has not been bying baby anything! and says he wants to discuss 2 things.
1) babys name
2) he wants to be at birth and wants to know about his families access afterwards.

I said i hadnt though about either but re-iterated that i will never stand in the way of him seeing the baby.
'He hurled so much abuse at me 'how can you have fucking not thought about it i need a fucking anser now etc' and to round up that meeting he was just full of anger and couldnt stop swearing He did say he would contribute and gets paid the 28th month so i said oh well its the 30th today have you got any money and he said no he was skint. So i sarcastically said oh so the next pay day is 28th sept a few days before baby is here!! he had a go at me saying i should know when his pay day is and said he thought after how long we had been together i obviuosly never took notice of him!. I said dont show up unannounced and dont contact my family - his answer was i can do what the fuck i like and show up whenever he likes and will do even more when baby is here. It ended with him wheel spinning off and swearing as he went?!?!?!?
Ive not heard nothing from him since...

so now im over 36 weeks preg, had not a penny off him done everything myself and with help and support off family and friends. I have bought myself a car (although he still thinks im 9 months preg walking everywhere) I had to pay two sets of bills one month etc i have been fucked over financially from him, I am now stuck in a 1 bed flat which i love but will need to sell soon. I am currently having extra growth scans on baby and being induced hanging over my head so have had such a shite stressy pregnancy oh and i still have morning sickness a few times a week lol.

I cant wait for baby to come im so excited and going to always do my best :) am going to stay with my mom n dad a few days before birth and after for alittle - the cats are coming too! :)

I have an appointment next fri to find out about jons access etc. and am feeling strong and empowered! :) wohhoooo. cus really its been about 4 months since we split so i am over him.

His mom called me the other week asking if i was still at flat and wanted me to confirm the house bills needed to be changed back into her name etc. Makes sense now, as after mine and her convo jon shows at flat and bam all of a sudden he can afford his car now his mommy is paying bills. So obviusly she has been very two faced but i also understand that it is her son.I sent her a text i had done all the bills etc never heard back off her not even a thanks!On this call aswell she even said ' do you have any idea if jon wants to be involved with baby' I said i dont know he promised to buy stiff never did and he hasnt said if he wants to be but i will never stop him.

She has text me today out the blue saying i hope you are ok etd and can she come see me this weekend or next?
Not sure what to do, obviously jon has been telling his family a different story but when i tell him not to contact mine do i have the right to tell her his behaviour or should i not tell her. She is not welcome at flat for now ( she never contacted after crash to ask about me or baby ) but i would speak on phone or meet her somewhere. what to doooo..?!??!

Thanks for reading hope you are still awake lol!

lucy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Well heck you have been through the mill!!! Sending lots of love to you. You sound like a strong independant woman. Stay that way, dont let him wear you down and you will be a awesome mummy very soon! xxx
 
Well heck you have been through the mill!!! Sending lots of love to you. You sound like a strong independant woman. Stay that way, dont let him wear you down and you will be a awesome mummy very soon! xxx

completely agree with that! i'd meet his mum somewhere very public, like a coffee shop, as you don't know what she wants to talk about, and if jon has been telling tales then it might be a good idea to get the record set straight! what ever happens wishing you all the best for your labour :hugs: x
 
thankyou. I hate to think he has been telling tales i have no anger left towards him but some reason his blood boils at the thought of me! My only regret is not having these conversations with his mom and him sooner so I could have got on and enjoyed my pregnancy.
I text his mom back by the way and she said i wish you and jon could sort arrangements amicabliy. I replyed saying and me thats all ive ever asked from him instead of him being aggressive - she replyed saying oh well hope it settles down soon, take care! charming!:wall2: lol

Thankyou xxx
 
Blimey I didn't realise you were going through so much! He can't expect you to just think of a name and his family's access on the spot like that. And his mother being so cold towards you, it does sound like he's been painting you as the bad guy. I would defo set the record straight if I were you. You do sound very strong and independent. Good on you, your little one will be very proud of you :) xx
 
Thankyou Rach really nice words. :) xxxxx
 
hmmm it sounds to me like his mum is trying not to get too involved in the arguments between you both. I would say she is getting grief from Jon to stay out of it which is why she appears 'cold'. She wants to be involved with the LO but doesn't want to piss her son off by having too much contact with you?

Maybe I am totally wrong. I would meet with her somewhere public as suggested above and tell her everything about how Jon has been behaving. You come across as a reasonable person so I am sure his mum will see that too.

Jon sounds like a complete plonker! I would advise that you make sure the LO has your surname rather than his as it will lead to longterm drama if baby has his surname.

Good luck with it all and well done on staying strong in such a difficult situation. I am actually dying to know what his mum wants to talk to you about!
 
awww hun sounds like u been through alot! sorry to hear that! wow tbh.. your ex bloke sounds like a jerk.. seems like he cant actually make his mind up? and also shouting all this abuse at you and getting angry is NOT ON and so unecceptable! x
 
thanks girls :) baby will defo have my surname :) and i have been to citizens advice and they have advised to keep Jon off birth certificate as if he is on there he could make our lives hell and have a say in a lot of things like if i wanted to move anywhere, the babys school etc most of it is decisions to made in a few years time etc and im sure things will have settled by then.I text his mom asking what she wanted to meet me about and he reply was 'contact with they baby' she didnt word it as in can i still see baby and didnt word it will jon be saying baby etc so i really do think she is as you say getting too involved and has a motive for everything!! i do not trust her one bit! and when she said she wished everything was amicable and i said so do i wish that instead of your son being aggressive etc and she just put oh well hope it settles down!One reason is the other week she needed me to confirm i had mmoved out of a house we shared so jon could stop paying bills there too she said its not fair he is still paying etc then obviuosly he spends his monthly wages insuring and running his new car car.So he never contacted me to confirm details to the gas comapny etc his mom did it but obviously in a fake sweet way so jon could afford to run a car instead of contributing towards his unborn child!xxxxx
 
Hiya hope you are all ok!? To put my story in short (i bet its still gonna be super long lol). I was with, engaged, and buying a house with the perfect man ever ....i thought.

We had been together for just over a year - My flat was on market for sale we got engaged Jan (he even went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage!), Found out I was pregnant February - Completely unexpected! we were living in the house decorating it in general and the nursery.(we were buying it off his mom and just waiting my flat to sell to complete sale but his mom was living elsewhere so this was now our home)

Well when we found out i was pregnant i saw our life falling appart i wasnt ready etc and cried for two weeks straight, my main concern was i didnt want to jepradise us. Whereas jon was all up for it saying how much he would love a baby etc and so on.

We had our engagement party April and told the news we were 4 1/2 months pregnant! Jon was ill with shingles and flat sale fell through s very stressful. To top it off i was hardly eating sickness 4/5 times a day we found out my blood type was rhesus negative o negative, which stressed me and I didnt realise we were pregnant so i had still been taking the pill smoking drinking etc at the start of pregnancy so i was in general riddled with guilt.

Well anyway im a naturally anxious person and sleeping has always been an issue (i have cbt therapy for it)

The break --
Jon just seemed to change over a couple of days, shouted at me and said i piss him off all the time ?!?!? this was end of may. I asked him to talk to me as this behaviour was so out of character he wouldn't so i left him and our home(and took my cats lol) a few days later on the saturday .
Nearly a week passed then we met up and got thinkgs back on track on the understanding that we both have worries bt need to talk to each other etc (I wasnt very happy that i had been at my moms 6 months pregnant crying not eating and found out he had been on the piss each night and staying at his sisters on the sofa (who by the way smokes weed and no his brother lives there who also smokes weed)

So anyways we were back at the flat a few weeks and as everything was now there and he was really pressuring me to get back to the house. I was taking him to work and picking him up each day as he was skint from spending all his money which started to drain me as i worked in the oposite direction. I also put my half of money in for the bills that month and we split for good before he had contributed. When he hadnt got back to the jon i knew at the flat i said i wont move back to house before the air had been completely cleared. He admitted to me that he feels an anger in him all the time and i stressed how he needs to deal with this as we cant have this round the baby, he ended up throwing somethiing in this kitchen that night.

So then i said to him start catching the bus to work please if you can as costing me a fortune in petrol (he said yes) and that was it i dropped him off that morning and expected him to be home about 6ish (its only one bus from his work back to flat) but i didnt here off him till late evening saying ''cant get to flat got no £ staying at sisters''

That was the last i heard off him. I bumped into him the following wednesday at my CBT session as me and therapist had invited him as he was stressing me out.

I said how come you never said you skint i could have kept giving you lifts, you need to tell me these things etc (ALL THROUGH THE SESSION HE WAS LIKE A ZOMBIE) my therapist was saying you both love each other etc , i was actually crying. Then the minute she left the room he was like ' what a stupid bitch shes trying to tell me what to do how to feel, i can do what the fuck i like' (Again the really out of character jon came out!) so when we left the session i confronted jon and he said he doesnt care what i think of him etc so i said well its over then. And that was it.

Next i heard off him was a few weeks later when he showed up un announced at my flat in a car he had borrowed from work and he had bought his friend who was in a seperate car and starts demanding his stuff. I just said well wish you could have told me you was coming could have got it ready. Gave him a few boxes and he went.

Then i started to updated him by text on each midwife appointment etc and he has thanked me for updates. Then at 7 1/2 months pregnant I had a car crash, i called jon. I was quite a bad one my car was written off and i was in the hospital being monitored all day and night. Jon kissed me on the lips which was confusing matters but was there for me none the less. He came back to my parents afterwards and promised them he was going to buy some baby stuff and also but me a cheap runabout so i had a car etc.
Did this happen NO!!
He contacted me the day after saying wanna go baby shopping i was like well i cant because of my back from the crash. He had arranged to view my friends KA to buy it for me was only £150 and that never happenned, even after he promised me and my parents.
Then i never heard a dickie bird out of him till last Saturday.

He started txting me saying im at flat come outside we need to talk and i said jon its nearly 9.30pm its too late, you can phone me but its too late for visitors. he started started to really push he wanted to see me there and then and i said what do you want to talk to me about....he never replyed

On the tuesday (this was last tuesday) he text me at 7pm asking if i was at home ~(i wasnt i was at my friends for tea) because i didnt reply for ten minutes he sent me a text saying i know your at home stop being so fucking imature, your window is open and im not leaving till you speak to me!! and he rang my mom!!!! My mom knew i wasnt at home and he played the symptahy act to her saying, I have had to come unannouced bacuse she never replys to my texts etc (which was bollax but cus i have tried not to involve my parents much they didnt know what to think.)

so to clear it up once and for all i said i will meet you at top of street at 9pm. (Just to recap he had last seen me 7 1/2 months preg, without a car he had promised , still not contributed a penny, and the day after , the wed was my last day at work for mat leave) So he gets out his car (which obviusly he had afforded to get back on road as he has not been bying baby anything! and says he wants to discuss 2 things.
1) babys name
2) he wants to be at birth and wants to know about his families access afterwards.

I said i hadnt though about either but re-iterated that i will never stand in the way of him seeing the baby.
'He hurled so much abuse at me 'how can you have fucking not thought about it i need a fucking anser now etc' and to round up that meeting he was just full of anger and couldnt stop swearing He did say he would contribute and gets paid the 28th month so i said oh well its the 30th today have you got any money and he said no he was skint. So i sarcastically said oh so the next pay day is 28th sept a few days before baby is here!! he had a go at me saying i should know when his pay day is and said he thought after how long we had been together i obviuosly never took notice of him!. I said dont show up unannounced and dont contact my family - his answer was i can do what the fuck i like and show up whenever he likes and will do even more when baby is here. It ended with him wheel spinning off and swearing as he went?!?!?!?
Ive not heard nothing from him since...

so now im over 36 weeks preg, had not a penny off him done everything myself and with help and support off family and friends. I have bought myself a car (although he still thinks im 9 months preg walking everywhere) I had to pay two sets of bills one month etc i have been fucked over financially from him, I am now stuck in a 1 bed flat which i love but will need to sell soon. I am currently having extra growth scans on baby and being induced hanging over my head so have had such a shite stressy pregnancy oh and i still have morning sickness a few times a week lol.

I cant wait for baby to come im so excited and going to always do my best :) am going to stay with my mom n dad a few days before birth and after for alittle - the cats are coming too! :)

I have an appointment next fri to find out about jons access etc. and am feeling strong and empowered! :) wohhoooo. cus really its been about 4 months since we split so i am over him.

His mom called me the other week asking if i was still at flat and wanted me to confirm the house bills needed to be changed back into her name etc. Makes sense now, as after mine and her convo jon shows at flat and bam all of a sudden he can afford his car now his mommy is paying bills. So obviusly she has been very two faced but i also understand that it is her son.I sent her a text i had done all the bills etc never heard back off her not even a thanks!On this call aswell she even said ' do you have any idea if jon wants to be involved with baby' I said i dont know he promised to buy stiff never did and he hasnt said if he wants to be but i will never stop him.

She has text me today out the blue saying i hope you are ok etd and can she come see me this weekend or next?
Not sure what to do, obviously jon has been telling his family a different story but when i tell him not to contact mine do i have the right to tell her his behaviour or should i not tell her. She is not welcome at flat for now ( she never contacted after crash to ask about me or baby ) but i would speak on phone or meet her somewhere. what to doooo..?!??!

Thanks for reading hope you are still awake lol!

lucy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


You are really a very strong lady.Dont let any one interrupt your life. Your kids will really be proud of you.........You are an inspiration to all the single mothers.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

No members online now.

Forum statistics

Threads
473,579
Messages
4,654,657
Members
110,038
Latest member
Salata Sara
Back
Top