HG and NVP thread

[Mummy_midwife]

Kanga, really know where you are hun. I too have felt like you so many times. As I said, 11 - 13 weeks was the worst for me, I felt really stupid for being pregnant again and putting myself through it, I felt frustrated for not being able to be a mum to my 2 children, a wife to my DH and a midwife to my work. But as jemfox said, it is about you and this baby you are carrying as frustrating as it may be you have to accept that temporarily you can't do all the things you used to do or would like to do.

I know that it feels like it will never end, that nobody understands, that the world is on top of you suffocating you... But things will get better hun and we are all here for you to vent, we really understand you.

My father in law who I have always been very close to has been in hospital for 5 months in a very serious state and my heart just breaks for him so I can imagine how you feel bout your gran passing away, everything is magnified when you are feeling so sick.

Be gentle and kind to yourself

Hugs
X

 

[kanga86]

Thank you ladies, your kind words are making me all teary. I have just been reading my threads from my son's pregnancy and there is a lot of feeling useless and being frustrated posts, so I will just have to be patient and so will my DH. He does say he just wants me better, but still thinks I can work too. Gonna try and talk to him later and tell him how I feel rather than bottle it all up. I have done 6 weeks of this, so I know I can do it plus you have all lasted alot longer than I had to last time and are doing it. If you can all stay strong then so can I, I'm am so grateful for this thread as noone understands it unless they are suffering HG. xx

 

[Mummy_midwife]

I think you are right to try talking to your DH and explain how you feel to him, maybe re doesn't realise he is making you feel under pressure? I am glad you are able to put things in a bit of perspective just now, although some days you just can't and that's fine. I have sobbed myself to sleep many nights with frustration but yesterday was a good day and today has been a good day so it is not all bad all the time, as much as it seems to last forever
Chin up hun and I hope tomorrow is a better day for you xxxxx

 

[kanga86]

It really is hard to keep things in perspective sometimes. I don't think my DH realises the putting pressure on me, I know he is doing it to himself though. Which is hard to deal with when he is working 11-12 hour days and I've done nothing. Had a very chilled day with Harry today, neither of us are dressed. Im still feeling rough but trying hard to ignore it.

Just wanted to share a pic of my little man today, smiling even though he has a black eye xx

 

[jemfox]

aww bless him!

kanga this hyperemesis put a massive strain on my marriage, we found out I was pregnant 8 days after our wedding instead of being newlyweds I was sick sick sick sick and he did understand it, and we had many arguments because he literally didn't know how to deal with it.
after 17 weeks of it now we are only just enjoying ourselves and the pregnancy.
we managed to sit down and speak about it all and hes told me it affected him greatly, but he didn't know how to deal with it. maybe ur OH is feeling the same? it cant be easy for them seeing us so ill and not being able to do anything about it. my husband said all he wanted to don was hug me but I couldn't let him near me because I couldn't even face hes smell and without realising it I was nasty to him. he said to me its very hard on him too and my mind set at the time was ''well think about how I f*cking feel!'' but I think ony now am I starting to understand what he means.

hyperemesis is awful it doesn't just effect you physically does it, it effects everything

xxx

 

[keeptrying14]

Hey kanga, totally agree with jemfox and mummymidwife. It is the hardest thing that I have ever had to go through. You should be proud of the fact that you are gettingt hrough each day at the moment. Don't try to think of will it be better next week or by this date it will just get you down. You are doing an amazing job looking after ur boy plus dealing with hg. I know I couldn't have done what u r doing. Like jemfox said my husband didn't understand either. I think he actually felt rejected by me because I couldn't even cuddle him without the smell of him making me sick. Looking back I must have been so distant and horrible but when u r dealing with it in the moment u don't even think of it. I promise you you will get through this but don't do anything that u are not up too. You just have to accept that when it gets better it will but untul then you do what u have to do to get through it. Thinking of you and lots of hugs xxxxx

 

[Hoping for no2]

Kanga I agree totally what the others have said. I think it's difficult for our men to understand, or anyone who hasn't gone through this really. I got a Facebook message yest from a friend who knows I've had hyperemisis asking if my morning sickness is better yet...argh!

It's been the most depressing time of my life and there have been so many days it just hasn't felt worth it. But remember it WILL get better hon and you'll have a beautiful baby at the end of it.

Live the pic of your son, he is such a cutey!

Hope you feel better over the wknd hon and pls don't feel pressured to go back to work until you are ready. Hugs xxx

 

[Mummy_midwife]

What a cute little boy kanga look at him, he looks so happy so I think you are doing a great job looking after him, growing a baby and dealing with HG and all the nasty things it brings with it!
Take each day as it comes and we'll all get through it xxx

 

[kanga86]

Thank you ladies. Barely said two words to hubby this evening plus in laws are here dh and fil are at chippy getting their dinner and I keep running to the bathroom. Didn't think the sickness was going to get this bad again. Can possibly see another hospital trip if I don't start keeping things down. Going to go to bed once dh is back, he can sort Harry out for bed xx

 

[Mummy_midwife]

Aw kanga x

 

[kanga86]

Morning ladies, I managed 12 hours sleep last night a feeling a bit brighter this morning. Just ate a tiny bowl of cereal and hoping it stays put and going to be sipping water, hoping I can avoid a hospital trip. My little boy has been amazing the last few weeks and yesterday he kept giving me cuddles I think he is super cute too

I'm home alone at the mo, and not spoken to hubby at all so I have no idea when he is going to be home from work, or if he us doing any extra jobs today. Don't know what to think about that really! xx

 

[jemfox]

Hey kanga, so glad ur feeling a Lil bit better, but if u feel like u need to go to hospital please don't hesitate! It may be just What ur body needs.

Howcome u haven't spoke to husband yet? I'm also home alone, hubby should be back ealry arvo then need to go to kiddicare for a carseat because I'm meeting he's other children for the first time tomo ( long story as to why only just meeting) which I'm actually dreading incase I feel ill!

Xx

 

[kanga86]

When he eventually got home last night at 7pm his parents were already here and then he went straight out to get some food. I was curled up on the sofa dozing in between running to the bathroom and stayed upstairs from around 8:45pm. They had just finished dinner. He then put Harry to bed and went back downstairs. I woke up today after he left for work. So barely said two words to each other other than do you want any dinner and saying goodnight to harry, does make me wonder why we are together having our second baby at times!

Enjoy going to kiddicare later to get baby's carseat and good luck meeting your oh's children. How old are they? xx

 

[kanga86]

The extent of our conversations yesterday and today. xx

 

[jemfox]

oh honey. HG also put a massive strain on my marriage, at times I wondered if I was doing the right thing. I felt very alone in the earlier weeks and guessing you do to?
the problem with Hg is no one understands unless going through it themselves, even though hes seen u go through it before maybe he still genuinely doesn't understand.
with my husband I got to the point where I went on google and found a load of information about it and sent to him, i cant remember what website it was but it basically said that Hg is like having food poisoning 24/7 and how awful it was for the mother, this worked for a few weeks because he realised just how poorly i felt.
i think Hg runs its course with Oh and family, they almost struggle to comprehend that yes you STILL feel sick after how many week how can it be possible right? well it is and its horrendous.

can you speak to your midwife or close friend about how ur feeling? i remember feeling so down and useless that i didn't know what to do with myself. so i went to my mums one morning and just balled my eyes out.

hes children are 4 and 5 and im really dreading it, i don't do children atall! and am the awkward type when around them lol.

xx

 

[kanga86]

I think DH is in denial that I can slip backwards with the sickness when I was doing so well. But he has given me a break today and taken our little boy with him to his parents, while he does some jobs down there. I must admit I have felt pretty lost today, and not really sure what to do with myself, as they still aren't back yet. But I've just sat and watch tv as not felt well enough to do anything else, I've not been sick today but feel really sick all the time, blergh!

DH had a d&v bug over valentines day, and I told him then that is how I'm feeling on a daily basis, but only suffering for 24hours he was very quick to forget how ill you feel.

I wish I had someone to talk too about it but it feels as though because I'm doing it for the second time no one is really that interested in how I'm feeling I've only got my grandma and inlaws close by, and I don't get on great with my mil she actually pisses me off more lol she came to 'help' me out after my c section and I was running around making her lunch and cups of tea, plus looking after Harry on my own, it was twice the work load, and I could barely move anyway! I don't have my mum around as she passed away nearly 10yrs ago now, and I so wish I had her to lean on for support.

I only really have my sister, who is going through her own house/living arrangement issues at the mo, so very preoccupied and not really that interested in my HG. Plus with her daughter she had 1 bout of sickness on the bus and that was it, so really doesn't understand. My aunty is also another one I would talk to, but with my nan (her mum) passing away, she obviously has a lot more on her plate to deal with, without my problems. That then leaves my friend Leanne, who I try to not burden with my pregnancy too much, as she is currently going through the process of iui as a single parent, and is so desperate for just one baby, that I feel guilty I'm expect number 2, that I can't moan to her about it as she would give anything to be going through it.

So yeah, in a nutshell I feel very alone in going through this pregnancy and HG. I cry in private a lot and I'm not very good and letting my true emotions show. This forum is my main outlet for everything pregnancy/baby related and I'm so glad I found it when pregnant with my first. (Sorry that ended up as a big life spill)

Jem I am very awkward around other children too, even my 3yr old niece, I just don't know what to say to her, but she doesn't mind and still asked me a million questions at a time lol I really hope the meet up goes well xx

 

[jemfox]

Kanga if u need to vent or chat ur very welcome to private message me and can exchange numbers, even if it's to get stuff of ur chest, I generally understand how u feel.

Nice that ur able to have a break tonite, last Saturday my oh went to see he's mates and I laid on sofa in my onsie watching "what to expect when ur expecting"... If u haven't see and can get ur hands on that film watch it. Had me in stitches and felt loads better after.

Have ended up having a blasing row with oh about tomo because he's ex wife has decided to make things difficult so now I'm dreading it even more!

Xx

 

[keeptrying14]

Hey kanga. Sorry to hear ur not getting the support u deserve. I remember people saying oh it can't be that bad I had morning sickness with my first! Bla bla bla! I actually wanted to punch them! Its even harder whn its ur hubby doing it because they are the ones u should be able to turn to when ur at ur lowest point. Just know that we are all here for u to vent as much as u like. We are all here to listen and support each other especially when know one else will. Just think another day done. Another day closer to the end xxx

 

[keeptrying14]

Hi girls hope ur all ok and enjoying the weather!! I am really excited as we went on a dog walk today and went for a pub lunchand I ate a whole sunday roast without being sick!! It was pork as well!! (Haven't been good with meat) just felt so good to eat and not bring it up halfan hour later! Boring post I know but just wanted to share! Xxx

 

[Hoping for no2]

That's great keep trying! So nice to be able to eat normally isn't it?

Hope everyone else is ok - still nothing from rhea I am bee worried about her...x