He's admitted it.... *UPDATE IN ORIGINAL POST*
- Thread starter Jade&Evie
- Start date
inforabumpyride said:
You CAN do it alone! You ARE strong enough!!
Just listen to others like Dannii! She didnt think she could but is doing better now!!
When my other half cheated, I only even considered talking to him again when he changed his whole life!
He used to take drugs and spend all his time at his brothers with his mates, he changed his life 100% for me and the children, he never ever said things like what yours has said and tbh if he had dared, he would not be standing now I do believe! (I would have broke his legs!)
But then, your oh saying all that then coming back and saying he was "joking" is the worst!
My OH suprised me that he changed everything about him and thats the ONLY reason we were able to work it out! He had been taking drugs and doing what he did for over 20 years so I knew what it meant that he was willing to do that even while not thinking he had a chance of us getting back together! (yeh I suprised us both with that one!)
I hope you find the strength and I totally think Dannii is right about the breaking point!!
Maybe you do need to wait until then but just remember, everybodys here for you and you have more in you than you think!! He has just dented your ego and self confidence! They will come back!
Dont let him take your pride!!
MagicMarkers
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Babe, what a twat ! Apparently half of blokes cheat on their OHs when their pregnant ( random stat from god knows google where, but always stuck with me) i know that wont me you feel any better, but least you know theres others in the same boat, you absolutely can do this by yourself, and in my opinion its only a matter of time before he sees what an amazing opportunity hes missing out on being with you and little bump, what you decide to do with him thens your thing, but personally i think you deserve more, a relationship and a half where you can trust you OH at the very least! If ever you need a chat, cry, vent etc give me a pm ! x x
Hiya,
Just wanted to say how sorry I am. I'm probably in no position to judge but I'd say that some of the others on here are spot on - although it must seem very scary, it may be better to let him go now as it gets harder as time goes by!
I'm having my third baby now, and just this weekend my OH has said that he's not sure about things, (part of it is my fault as I have some problems but it's also that basically he didn't really want kids, and he misses the social life, the going out and the being able to do what he wants! Of course he loves the girls and will always be there for them -I do believe that because he is a decent bloke but we will be devastated if he leaves, and being on my own with 3 of them terrifies me. I am trying to do everything I can to make things better because the alternative is really not that attractive, and 10 years of feelings just don't disappear - I do still love him.
When I think back though, although we'd been together several years, my first pregnancy was an accident and although he loved me and said he would support me, it wasn't really what he wanted; I'm thinking that perhaps I should have been braver much earlier - not that I'd swap my children for anything!!! Perhaps I would have been better going at it alone!
I really hope you manage to work this out, all the best
Just wanted to say how sorry I am. I'm probably in no position to judge but I'd say that some of the others on here are spot on - although it must seem very scary, it may be better to let him go now as it gets harder as time goes by!
I'm having my third baby now, and just this weekend my OH has said that he's not sure about things, (part of it is my fault as I have some problems but it's also that basically he didn't really want kids, and he misses the social life, the going out and the being able to do what he wants! Of course he loves the girls and will always be there for them -I do believe that because he is a decent bloke but we will be devastated if he leaves, and being on my own with 3 of them terrifies me. I am trying to do everything I can to make things better because the alternative is really not that attractive, and 10 years of feelings just don't disappear - I do still love him.
When I think back though, although we'd been together several years, my first pregnancy was an accident and although he loved me and said he would support me, it wasn't really what he wanted; I'm thinking that perhaps I should have been braver much earlier - not that I'd swap my children for anything!!! Perhaps I would have been better going at it alone!
I really hope you manage to work this out, all the best
HideiLu said:What a @%*$*@$ %&*"@@" @@&*$£% @%*$*@$ %&*"@@" @@&*$£% @%*$*@$ %&*"@@" @@&*$£% @%*$*@$ %&*"@@" @@&*$£%
Hope you're ok hun and looking after yourself, sending these for you
Where's a little yellow head icon for kicking someone in the gonads?!!
I couldn't have put it better! Lots of hugs for you, hun, we are all here if you need us...
Lisa
I just wanted to give you these and to say I agree with everyone else you CAN do it alone, what you can't and shouldn't do is stay in a bad relationship for fear of being alone and gradually hate each other more and more each day, spend all your time wondering where he is and who he's with you'll drive yourself mad and it wont be a nice environment for your baby or for any of you! I know its so hard breaking the attachment and so so scary going it alone, but you deserve so much more then half a relationship! If he is willing to commit properly to you again to appologise for seeing this girl and say that you finding out was the wake up call he needed he loves you and can show you things are different then great but from what he said about not loving you anymore and just staying cause your pregnant it doesn't look good. Sit down with him have a good talk with both of you trying to keep your temper and see where you both stand. But please please don't stay if things arn't going to be beter just because you don't think you are strong enough to do it alone your stronger then you think and will find an inner strength you never even knew you had!
and to say I agree with everyone else you CAN do it alone, what you can't and shouldn't do is stay in a bad relationship for fear of being alone and gradually hate each other more and more each day, spend all your time wondering where he is and who he's with you'll drive yourself mad and it wont be a nice environment for your baby or for any of you! I know its so hard breaking the attachment and so so scary going it alone, but you deserve so much more then half a relationship! If he is willing to commit properly to you again to appologise for seeing this girl and say that you finding out was the wake up call he needed he loves you and can show you things are different then great but from what he said about not loving you anymore and just staying cause your pregnant it doesn't look good. Sit down with him have a good talk with both of you trying to keep your temper and see where you both stand. But please please don't stay if things arn't going to be beter just because you don't think you are strong enough to do it alone your stronger then you think and will find an inner strength you never even knew you had! 
f***ing t**t!Princess_Puddles
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You need to respect yourself hun and get out, he's an ar*se!! you can't stay with someone for your child, because you can't bare to be alone or you think that you can't do it because in the end it will cause you alot more heartache that you don't deserve and it's not atmosphere i'm sure you want your child growing up in. You can do it hun I promise you!!
I'm glad your happy, and things are sorting themselves out for you.
I personally am very skeptical of blokes trying and being sorry etc, i know not every blokes the same and im sure your OH is genuine, i have met one guy who was truely sorry ( he hadnt even really done me wrong) and we sorted it. However baby daddy was also very sorry when i caught him, came over, spent the next few days with me being extremely sweet cuddling but not touching etc, telling me how much he didnt want to lose us, then walked away from us 2 weeks later.
He's a very odd case and i know most guys arnt like him, i'm jst very weary, and if i were you i'd jsut be sure he's not going to do them same again. I honestly do hope everything continues getting better for you and im sorry you ad to go through it in hte first plce
I personally am very skeptical of blokes trying and being sorry etc, i know not every blokes the same and im sure your OH is genuine, i have met one guy who was truely sorry ( he hadnt even really done me wrong) and we sorted it. However baby daddy was also very sorry when i caught him, came over, spent the next few days with me being extremely sweet cuddling but not touching etc, telling me how much he didnt want to lose us, then walked away from us 2 weeks later.
He's a very odd case and i know most guys arnt like him, i'm jst very weary, and if i were you i'd jsut be sure he's not going to do them same again. I honestly do hope everything continues getting better for you and im sorry you ad to go through it in hte first plce
Glad you've been able to talk things over and work things out with him. Defo sounds like you've been able to understand each other and see where things were going wrong and for what reasons.
If you are both prepared to keep talking and put in the effort I hope it works out for you both
If you are both prepared to keep talking and put in the effort I hope it works out for you both
abcd1234 said:
Its not only men who do this
I know of a fair few women who have had affairs and then promised their partners they were sorry and wanted to try again. I think its an equal opportunities thing really. Not only something men do. A couple we are good friends with staggered us with the news recently they are divorcing. No sign of any problems, both seemed happy and have two lovely children. Husband told us the news and is devasted. Turns out its the wife been having the affair with a married man (2 kids of his own also) and wanted a divorce to be with him. As to if the other man is still prepared to leave his own wife remains to be seen.
I think the world of them both but my heart goes out to the husband in this instance. He was and still is prepared to forgive her and to work at saving their marriage. Alas it seems thats not happening. This really was the wifes choice and she made up her mind and has gone.
Oh yeah, i know women are just as bad, i just have a men hating hting going on at the moment lol.
I've been the girl who has an affair and leaves someone who thinks the world of them. I'll have to find some sort of phrasing for my rants which dont necessarily just apply to men lol. Hmmmm cant think of anything the forum wouldnt star out atm
I've been the girl who has an affair and leaves someone who thinks the world of them. I'll have to find some sort of phrasing for my rants which dont necessarily just apply to men lol. Hmmmm cant think of anything the forum wouldnt star out atm
My OH has a nice big family home to go back to, a mother who will wash his socks for him til he's 30 if she has to and if he moved back in with his parents he could have a single life again. He's chosen to stay with me, have less money and wash his own socks so I can't doubt him anymore.
The fact we weren't communicating was why he felt like he wanted someone elses company- I can't blame him... if I wasn't pregnant maybe I would have done the same? He didn't sleep with her- he showed that much respect to our relationship. Everyone deserves a second chance so he's getting his.
The fact we weren't communicating was why he felt like he wanted someone elses company- I can't blame him... if I wasn't pregnant maybe I would have done the same? He didn't sleep with her- he showed that much respect to our relationship. Everyone deserves a second chance so he's getting his.
I am glad you have sorted it and are happy!
People do make mistakes and sometimes its possible to learn from them and move on. I made a big mistake a couple of years ago, my relationship with DH was awful he wasn't always very nice to me and my confidence was very low other things were going on at the time and I really needed suport from my OH but instead I got nothing and spent most night sat on my own whilst he stayed in other room on the net I ended up getting suport from someone else it wasn't about sex I'd never have done that to him but it did get out of hand and I ended up leaving my DH for this other man it was a huge mistake but it did take that time apart and the shock of losing me to make DH realise what he had lost and wasted whilst he had it after 6 months we decided to get back together I was very dubious that he could forgive and forget and its not always been easy but we have since got married and have a baby on the way and are very happy together we have a 100% beter relationship now then we had before and any time im really annoyed with him I only have to remember what we have been through to get here and how he put his pride aside (and hes a very proud man!) to take me back and I just want to hug him and tell him how much I love him! It is possible for these kind of situations however awful and hurtful at the time to end up being a good thing in the way they effect the relationship for the beter but you have to be able to forgive and forget and thats not an easy thing to do, Im not sure I could/would be able to do it but im eternally grateful my DH did!!
People do make mistakes and sometimes its possible to learn from them and move on. I made a big mistake a couple of years ago, my relationship with DH was awful he wasn't always very nice to me and my confidence was very low other things were going on at the time and I really needed suport from my OH but instead I got nothing and spent most night sat on my own whilst he stayed in other room on the net I ended up getting suport from someone else it wasn't about sex I'd never have done that to him but it did get out of hand and I ended up leaving my DH for this other man it was a huge mistake but it did take that time apart and the shock of losing me to make DH realise what he had lost and wasted whilst he had it after 6 months we decided to get back together I was very dubious that he could forgive and forget and its not always been easy but we have since got married and have a baby on the way and are very happy together we have a 100% beter relationship now then we had before and any time im really annoyed with him I only have to remember what we have been through to get here and how he put his pride aside (and hes a very proud man!) to take me back and I just want to hug him and tell him how much I love him! It is possible for these kind of situations however awful and hurtful at the time to end up being a good thing in the way they effect the relationship for the beter but you have to be able to forgive and forget and thats not an easy thing to do, Im not sure I could/would be able to do it but im eternally grateful my DH did!!
